Tuesday, November 29, 2005

You Can Never Go Home Again...Or Can You?

They say you can never go home again...or can you?

In February, as some of you know, I will be taking a trip to Las Vegas for some kind of promotion thingee that was bestowed on BF from the casino he frequents a little too...uh...frequently.

When he told me about this free trip, I was elated of course, since it means VACATION TIME, but it wasn't until tonight did I realize that even though I've never even been to Las Vegas ever in my lifetime, I will be going home.
You see, as a child, I lived in Burbank, California, and duh me, I didn't realize that Nevada was right next door to my blessed homeland.

But, let me explain a little something to you that I rarely talk about before I get to the point of this post.

When I was seven, my mother married a man named Robert Manders who was stationed in the army. Right after they married, he was given orders to be stationed in Fort Ord, California. My sister, aunt, mother, new step-dad and I drove the 3,000 miles to a place I'd never been before, but was looking forward to it never the less.

For the first time, I was NORMAL. I had a father again, since my own father left me as a baby, and I felt like this was a new beginning as a family - something I'd never had up to that point.

I loved California. There were so many neat things to do and see which was so different from life back on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. But, most of all, I had a family just like everyone else with a mama AND a daddy.

However, as all good things come to an end, they didn't get along and separated three years later. I was taken by my aunt by train back to the Eastern Shore to live with my grandmother, which I did until the eleventh grade when my mother came back home and I lived with her for a year before she died.

For all the years since that tragic day when I had to leave my homeland, I've always had a secret desire to go back. Actually, it was more than that...

California represented family to me, something that was stolen from me and I knew I'd never get it back. It was like it represented a time in my life when my mother was alive and we were doing all sorts of fun things and I can't even remember a time in my life when I was so happy. I had it all. And then, in the dark of the night, my aunt whisks my sister and I off to live with my grandmother in Virginia. It was like my life ended.

I sunk into a shell afterwards. I lost everything. I lost my possessions, my mother, my life as part of a real family.

When I was in the eleventh grade, my mother came back home. She had remarried and rented the house next door to my grandmother and I moved in with her.

About that time, I met my husband and we married. One month later, I found my mother dead in her bedroom. I screamed and ran next door to my grandmother who called the ambulance.

We never found out why my mother died. My step-father was nowhere to be found and we suspected him of being involved, but it was never proven. Her death certificate said that she died of heart implications, but the coroner told us otherwise. He said that there was carbon minoxide found in her system and we never found out how it got there.

The years passed and I grieved for my mother. Holidays and birthdays were never the same. Instead of being happy, I was depressed on those days because of some unknown psychosis I suppose, but I knew why. Those days represented family, something that was stripped away from me at the age of ten. And, of course, there was the death of my mother which I never came to terms with.

When we initially made that trip to California, my step-father took a picture of my mother, sister, aunt and I standing in front of the California state sign. I saw that picture every now in then throughout my youth and marveled at how happy I looked in the picture. In fact, we all looked happy. We were on our way to a new home with new adventures...as a family.

Over the years, my aunt died and she took along with her that picture for I have yet to find it again. That picture symbolized so much and just like my mother's passing, it disappeared, too, leaving me empty inside.

When I found out about this trip to Vegas, I did a random search on the internet to see just where exactly it was. I thought it was more in the middle of the U.S., but you should have seen my expression when I found out where it really was.

Forty-five minutes from that same "Welcome to California" sign. It might not be the same exact sign, but it is in the exact same area.

I need to go there. I need to cross that border and have my picture taken underneath the sign. No, it will not be the same and no, it will not bring my mother back, but then again, will it?

Will she be standing there beside me, grinning that Marilyn Monroe sexy grin like she used to do? Will she reach over and put my hair behind my ears that irritated me so much as a child? Will she finally have a chance to tell me that she's okay and that I can relieve myself of the demons that have haunted me for the thirty years since she died?

I will get that chance to find out. It's my only chance and maybe my last chance. I need that picture more than life itself and I will get it.

For, standing there at the California border, I will have come home again.

*Note: This picture was grabbed off the internet and I hope the owner forgives me for borrowing it. It is where I need to go. To find that picture of my mother and I standing at the California border forty-four years ago. I need it to clear up the demons that have haunted me all my life and to prove to myself that you really can go home again.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Barbie Faces Mid-Life Crisis

Well, honey, aren't we all? *grin*

In looking for dolls to resemble the characters in a book I've written, I came across a tidbit of information that you might find interesting or totally boring.

Barbie, the epitome of everyone's childhood, is facing a huge slump in sales. Seems there's too much competition because of something called a Bratz doll? I went searching for a Bratz doll and this is what they look like if you don't know either.



Oh, okay. I see the fascination. Hipper. Chicker.

Well, it seems the Bratz dolls are giving Barbie a run for their money and the bigwigs at Mattel are sweating their darling little heads off. They tried running some kind of storybook Barbies which went over well with the real young set, but bombed with the nine-year-old and up crowd.

But, let's look at the real picture. Barbie is getting on in years. It isn't but so many romps with Ken left in her and there's always going to be something new and improved which is going to make anything old seem, well, less than attractive.

WAIT A GOLDARN MINUTE HERE.

Do you hear what has come out of my mouth?

Does that mean that Barbie, the queen doll of all dolls, isn't worthy just because she's...er...OLD?

Okay, the bigwigs at Mattel need to come up with an idea and I just might have the answer.

Turn Barbie ELECTRONIC.

Make her dance on the little Barbie tables while singing the national anthem.

With a click of a switch under her foot, turn her into an iPod and it'll be on every child's Christmas wish list this year.

Instead of boobs, under her shirt she can have a mini boombox complete with stereo sound and Gameboy capabilities.

Twist her arm a certain way and out of her mouth, she can recite all the answers to any tests any teacher gives you.

Part her hair a certain way and mini strobe lights can dance on the ceiling and the colors representing whether there is any artificial intelligence in the room or anywhere in the galaxy.

Hit the remote that is cleverly disguised as sunglasses and you can instruct her to cook a full course meal, give the kids their bath and make love to your significant other while you catch up on all those television shows you never could watch because there just wasn't enough time.

Oh, the possibilities are endless!

My question is...why hasn't Mattel thought of that?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

I'm Going to Vegas!!!

Omg...my dream tree is already working! No sooner did the tree and the lights go up - and the ocassional ornament, not too many because I'm saving it for my "dream" ornaments - I get the fantastic news. I'm going to Las Vegas!!!
(picture to the right is where we're staying)

Jeez, I'm still hyperventilating, which isn't real good for a boomer chick, is it?

I'm telling you, you really need to get a dream tree...it performs miracles! Okay, I'm spacey, but, if you've been reading the last few posts in my blog, I've put up a new Christmas tree this year - deeming it the dream tree and I'm going to adorn it with ornaments reflecting what I'd like to accomplish in the upcoming year. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd get a Vegas vacation out of it and it's ABSOLUTELY FREE.

BF won this free trip thingee through one of the casinos he frequents. Everything is free - plane tickets, hotel..man, it's unbelievable. It's not until February, thank goodness, because I have no clothes! With Christmas right around the corner, buying for myself is unthinkable, so if anyone wants to buy me a present, I could use about five pairs of jeans, maybe two or three new t-shirts and about six pairs of new Victoria Secret panties. I think I can handle the rest. Omg...I need another suitcase to lug all this stuff out there because it's for six glorious days and god knows if they have a washer and dryer on the premises. Probably. Omg...I need a laptop. How can I check email and everyone's blogs without one????

One thought does scare me, though. Ever since 911, going by airplane ANYWHERE scares the shit right out of me, soooooo...don't know how I'm going to handle that one. And what do you do on a plane for THREE hours, will someone please tell me?

I remember the last airplane ride. Eighteen years old. BY MYSELF. Some jerk old fart beside me tried to hit on me. Nice. Not.

Anyway, been too excited to get anything written. Barely have answered email. I'm just so freaking excited. I did think of another ebook I'm going to put together and sell on my site. If I can just calm down for two seconds enough to get some thoughts down.

And...it's been two weeks and one day since I sent my hen lit to DREAM AGENT. Not that she's even going to accept it. She's that huge. Would be nice, though. That's the first ornament I'm buying! Something to do with travel, since my book is about this cross country trip. And the characters do it in a psychedelic RV. So, hm. Anyone know where I can find a psychedelic RV Christmas ornament? That ought to be reeeeal easy to find, you think?

Friday, November 25, 2005

It's Official - Christmas Buying Season Has Begun!

It's official. Black Friday is here which symbolizes the beginning of the Christmas buying frenzy. Are you out there? Not me. Only because I have to work, but I'd love to see it in action.

However, instead of camping out in a tent in front of a department store, I'm in the comfort of my own home doing most of my shopping online. But, there are great bargains out there if you're willing to brave the elements and those loooong lines, not to mention frenzied shoppers wall to wall.

Great savings on electronics and toys seems to be what's on most of these buyer's lists. Since my kids are grown, there's no need for toys and Amazon is having a great electronics sale, so I'll be doing some of my shopping there. In the comfort of my own home.

According to a news release today, Walmart is planning a different strategy. Instead of focusing on Black Friday, they will be having their sales throughout the month of December because according to last year's statistics, the Saturday before Christmas outdid Black Friday in sales by a landslide. I know. I was there. And so was a million other last minute shoppers.

So, did anyone partake of any of the bargains today? What did you buy and were there mobs of people? Who had the most bargains?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Turkey Day is finally here! I've got my greens soaking in the bathtub, waiting to go in the pot, and my turkey is just about ready to go in the cooker. We're having a late dinner because the kids are eating at their father's first and well, my dinner won't be ready until tonight anyway.

We're having a special Thanksgiving here at my house anyway. As soon as the kids get back from their father's, we're going to put up the Christmas tree! Yes, I got my DREAM tree! For those that didn't read my last blog post, I decided that this year was going to be the year when everyone's dreams come true and that I was going to buy a new tree to symbolize a new beginning! But, what makes it a dream tree is because we're all going out and buying a special ornament to symbolize what we would like our dreams to be. For my daughter, I suppose she'll buy a nurse ornament to hopefully give her that nudge to graduate in September. As for me, I need two of them. One to symbolize my hen lit that PLEASE IF YOU ARE A PUBLISHER THIS BOOK WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF...heh...sorry... a little personal dream of mine...and then the second to symbolize my new soul mate book I've been working on and is just about finished. I don't ask for much out of life and I know these are material things but hey it's my dream...lol.

I of course wish for health and happiness and maybe a special ornament is in store just in case. Wouldn't want to jinx things.

I hope you and yours are having a special Thanksgiving, too, and that you achieve your wildest dreams in the upcoming year!

Monday, November 21, 2005

The Dream Tree

Is there anyone out there in Blogland that is just dying to get out there and do some serious Christmas shopping?

WHAT? HAS SHE GONE MAD?

Oh, don't get your panties in a bind. I'm serious. This year is the first year in ages that I'm really in the Christmas spirit. And I'm going to do something totally different this year.

I'm going to buy a new tree.

Yep, but it's not because our old tree can't hold up another year and it's not that I have millions of extra dollars and can afford it. It's a symbol and I'll tell you why.

My daughter came out into the living room tonight where I was playing in email and she plopped down on the sofa.

"This is going to be the worse Christmas ever," she said. "I don't have any money at all and I just wish it would never get here."

I listened to her complain about having one night at work because of going to nursing school and how upset she was that she could barely give me or the rest of the family anything for Christmas, which was quite the opposite of past years. This is a girl that no matter what, there'd be presents up the ying-yang for me under the tree. I'm not one that needs presents, but she's one who feels the need to give them.

After she was finished, I said, "You know, this is the way I'd like Christmas to be. I don't want it to be about gifts. I want it to be about being together. I think that the upcoming year is going to be an exciting one, filled with surprises that will show us all our hard work is going to pay off. This new year coming up is a new beginning for all of us. And...for starters, I'm buying a new Christmas tree."

"A new Christmas tree?" she asked. "Why when we have a perfectly good one up in the attic?"

"The old tree symbolized our old lives," I explained. "I bought that the year just before your dad left us. We've carried that tree around for years, living from one house to another. We've been living here for ten years and things have gone from bearable to simply fantastic as each year goes by and I want a new tree to celebrate our new beginning because I have a feeling that this upcoming year is going to be the year to remember."

I could tell she knew what I was talking about. Next year, she graduates nursing school (her dream) and I WILL get my subsequent books published (my dream). So, this new tree is going to be called The Dream Tree. By the time it is one year old, everyone will have achieved their wildest dreams.

Anyway, she seemed happier after my speech and went back to her room to study and I turned back around and started pounding away on the keyboard.

These are the kind of dreams that turn into realities - confidence that what you are doing is going to happen.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The "Bambi Effect" in Action

As most of you know, I wait on tables to support my writing habit until the acceptance gods grant me with lots of mullah for any of my bestselling-wannabe manuscripts I've got out there, but I wanted to tell you about an interesting experience I had today.

Two men in camouflage *great, I know that's misspelled..uh...maybe not, but anyway...* came in and requested a table by the window in which they could see their pick-up that was parked outside. As they had camouflage gear on, I asked them what they had back there that they had to keep an eye on. I knew what they were going to say, but I just wanted to make sure before I started casting judgment their way.

"Deer, little lady. Two full-grown bucks. I wouldn't want anyone to take off with them, you understand."

O....kay. This confirmed my belief that that's exactly what they had back there and my stomach started doing back-flips as I imagined dead Bambi carcasses lying in the back of their truck. But, what really got me perplexed was WHY would anyone even THINK about grabbing dead Bambi carcasses out of a truck with blood leading to their trail?

I mean, think about it. You come across a truck full of Bambi carcasses and what's the first thing you think of?

"Wow, man. Nice dead deer back there. Let's steal'em and take'em home to the little missus to cook up for us."

Not only is this probably the last thing anyone would want to steal unless they were positively absolutley starving, but wouldn't it be the most absolutest red-neck thing to do?

I couldn't pass the opportunity up.

"Deer, huh?" I asked, while handing them their Buds (of course, they'd be drinking Buds, what else?). "And you shot them?"

"Of course, little lady," the one with the pot-belly gut said. "Who else is gonna do it?"

Both men broke out in hysterics.

I, myself, saw nothing funny in it and wish I had spit in their beer before giving it to them, but I continued, "And killed them?"

One of them looked at the other said the one with the beer gut said, "You aren't one of those PITA people are you?"

"PITA?"

"Yeah, PITA, as in PAIN IN THE ASS?"

O...kay. But then my blood was about to come to 1,000 F, but I remained cool and collected.

"Dear sir," I said, "I'm thinking you mean PETA? As a matter of fact, for the record, I can't believe anyone in their right mind would shoot something as innocent as a deer unless you were starving and had no other recourse. I take it by the beer guts you are not starving and that you shot the deer for the sheer fun of it. How would you like it if someone were to come up to you in your own home, minding your own business and waited until they saw the sparkle in your eyes and shot you right in the middle of them just for the fun of it? Would you call this an act of violence or would you call it a fun time?"

I figured they heard all they needed and I walked away.

I doubt I made any difference, but I hope I gave them something to think about.

They ate their meal, paid their check and when they were about to walk out the door, one of them waved me over to him.

I sauntered over there, and he said, "Little lady, I must say you've got a lot of guts, but it's been this way a long time. If we didn't kill'em, they'd be overpopulated and this is our way of helping out the cause."

He started to walk away, but then turned around and said, "Enjoy your turkey this Thanksgiving, Little Lady. That is, unless you're against shooting them, too."

Damn, I hate it when they have the last word.

Yes, I am having turkey. And, yes, he was right.

Maybe I'll have jelly sandwiches instead. I hate being a hypocrit.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

No More Merry Christmas?


I have a baaaaaad cold. Just when I thought that having a sore throat and congested head for three days, I had finally licked it, I got up this morning at SIX A.M. sneezing my fool head off. And what happened to that nice weather we we were having? Brrrrr.....

After a few days hiatus from working on the soul mate book, I tried going back in it last night. I'm afraid it's something about having a head full of mucous and finding your muse you had only a week ago that doesn't mix. I'm hoping the muse will find its way out soon because I'd sure like to get this baby finished.

Now, the main purpose of writing this blog this morning...last night, I was waiting on an older couple and the woman told me something that really confuses the heck out of me. She said that it is now against the law for store clerks, what not, to say "Merry Christmas" to customers. Okay. Something about offending some ungodly person out there that doesn't believe in Christmas. I have never heard of such a thing. I am not Jewish but if someone were to say Happy Hannuka (probably bad spelling...remember...head cold), would I get offended? Why? It's another holiday just like Christmas, isn't it?

I don't know what's wrong with the world today and my head is too stuffed to really try to find the answer. First they mess with the pledge of allegiance, now they're messing with one of my favorite holidays, Christmas. I'm wondering if one day, it'll be against the law for someone to wear a red suit and ring a bell collecting money for Unicef? And how about Easter? Can we not say Happy Easter anymore either?

Can someone please tell me who we are offending anyway?

Ah well...guess I'll try going back to bed and imagine a world that used to be....night...oops...morning....

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Every Writer's Gotta have a Little R&R

Every writer's gotta have a little R&R, don't they? I just got back from an overnight stay at one of the biggest gambling casinos on the east coast, Dover Downs (Dover, Delaware), known for their NASCAR and horse races, and of course, SLOTS. I'm not much of a NASCAR fan (don't kill me!), but it was kind of neat watching the horse race outside the restaurant window. But, the biggest thrill of all was those little greedy slot machines they have sprinkled underneath the hotel rooms to entice you to spend your hard earned bucks on.

I was fighting a head cold, but it was fun while it lasted. BF & I both lost our money, but we got a free room out of it anyway, plus FREE FOOD.

After the last of my hard-earned money was eating up by the machines, I went back to the room and tried to indulge in comfort, but this dang head cold was making me miserable. I took some cold medicine and went to bed and had this crazy dream. I was wearing my "Support a Starving Author...Buy My Book" t-shirt, going house to house peddling my book like an encyclopedia salesman. I REALLY hope it doesn't come down to that.

The next day, we got up and did some Christmas shopping with what little money we had left in the hotel room and came on home. Broker for sure, but it was sure nice to get away.

Now that I'm back home, work is staring at me - a how to article on promoting, my soul mate book that needs finishing, a relationship column and emails up the ying-yang. Arrggg....

Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Goose That Almost Wasn't

I don’t remember having a television as a young child. We weren’t exactly poor, but let’s just say we had to stretch the food dollar a bit by relying on the generosity and good will of family and friends.

I never noticed. I was too busy playing “Red Rover, Red Rover” or “Hide-n-Seek” with the cousins and trying to think of ways to keep out of trouble. I wasn’t a mean kid, just ornery. Stubborn might be a better word for it.

One particular Thanksgiving Day, one of the cousins (sneaked) brought a goose over for the Thanksgiving main course. I was outside playing with my dolls and minding my own business when something caught my eye on top of the rusty oil tank at the back of the house. I knew that back yard like it was nothing and I knew this was something that wasn’t there yesterday.

As I was knee-high to a grasshopper, I couldn’t see exactly what it was and curiosity got the best of me. I ran inside and asked my mother, who was standing at the kitchen counter cutting up celery and onions and doing all those Thanksgiving-like things, just what it was.

“That’s the goose for Thanksgiving dinner,” she exclaimed rather too excitedly for my own tastes. “Wasn’t that nice of your uncle to bring it by?”

Uh. Yeah. My taste buds were just budding over.

I was aghast, putting it mildly. I had never eaten goose before and wasn’t about to start now. Visions of Baked Mother Goose danced in my head and I frantically raced back outside.

I stood there at the oil tank, gazing up at the white atrocity, but it was much too high to get at it.
Dinnertime would be here before you knew it and I had to think fast.

I searched the yard for something to climb up on and that’s when I heard an innocent mew coming from behind the lilac bushes. It was our cat, Boots, looking at me kind of strange-like. What a stroke of good luck, I thought!

I figured that if I throw the cat up high enough, he would land on top of the oil tank, grab the goose, take off with it and no one would ever be the wiser.

I grabbed Boots with all my might and with one gigantic thrust, I threw him into the air.

Mrrrrowwww, he growled, plummeting to the ground with all four paws outstretched.

He started to run off figuring this was some sick game I was playing with his life, but I grabbed the tip of his tail just before he got away.

I threw him up a second time and this time, he almost hit the target, missing the goose by inches.

My mother, who was known for never missing a beat, saw me throwing the cat up in the air and yelled, “Dotti Lyn! What are you doing out there?”

“Just trying to see if Boots can fly, Mommy.”

“Well, stop your horse-playing right now, young lady, and leave that cat alone!”

“Okay, Mommy.”

I waited until she moved away from the window and was out of site. I was making sure I wasn’t going to be picking any switches that day!

I found Boots, who was eyeing me pretty suspiciously by then, and threw him a third time.

This time, we hit bulls-eye!

I peeked around the corner to evaluate the situation, keeping one eye on the cat and the other eye on the kitchen window and I’ll be dang if that cat wasn’t just sitting there.

“Go on, you dang cat!” I yelled. “It’s a goose! Eat the darn thing or do something other than just sit there!”

The cat just sat there, ignoring the goose and making sure he was going to sit up there the rest of the day so I couldn’t get my hands on him again. I guessed he didn’t like playing airplane, after all.

“Dotti Lyn! What’s that cat doing up there on the oil tank with our Thanksgiving goose?” yelled my mother.

“Mommy, guess what?” I yelled back. “Boots can fly!”

I don’t remember how Boots got down that day, but I do remember eating goose for the first time. And I’ll tell you one thing. I’ve never eaten it since.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Special Holiday Savings on Romancing the Soul

Is it the holidays already? YIKES.

Are you hard up for finding that special present for that special person in your life? Does she/he have EVERYTHING and there's nothing else you can think of and it's driving you crazy?

Do you fear the mobs of people at this time of year when all you want to do is sit at home and do something meaningful like sleep or something?

How about the price of gas nowadays? Oops, that was last week. Well, gas is still gas and if you don't have to put gas in your gas tank, you can spend it on other wonderful things like...uh...beer?

And how about that mall. Isn't it the most fearful place you can think of going to? Eek.

Well, do I have the solution for you. See that pretty picture over here?

That's my book. It's a really neat little book. It took three long years of hard work putting that thing together and guess what. It's on sale. Only at Amazon, though. Yessiree bob, for a limited time, that little sucker is on sale at 32% off...I couldn't believe it myself (why, if I didn't have all these unsold copies sitting in my spare bedroom, I'd buy one myself!). That saves you $7! Just think what $7 can buy! Oh, lots of things. More beer? Extra toilet paper? A supersized meal at McDonalds? Heck, yeah. Doesn't get better than that, does it?

Oh, but it does...

I have a couple of presents for you, too! Man, I see you smiling now! All you have to do is head over to www.dorothythompson.net/holiday.html and read all about it. There's even a special holiday greeting waiting for ya.

Happy holidays to you and yours and don't forget, when that little missus or mister of yours opens up the package, I don't want to be responsible for any disorderly conduct, you hear? I'm not responsible, you hear me? Ha...enjoy the holidays and if you are one of the lucky poor folks who stumble upon this, I'm really a sane person. Really.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Childhood Sweethearts

Childhood sweethearts – that first time we feel the stirrings of romantic feelings – is a magical time in which pangs of heart-felt emotions touches us in a way that we’ll remember the rest of our lives and will shape our future in the romance department. Where boyfriends or girlfriends come and go as we grow up and eventually have families of our own, it’s that childhood sweetheart that we remember most. It’s something about our first real young love that we recall with fond memories because it is the first love that was genuine and bittersweet. Our heart is but a virgin organ until our childhood sweetheart walks into our life and changes our lives forever. It is that first love that we carry with us throughout life, never forgetting those sweet moments of innocence. They leave with us a legacy that time cannot erase.

Everyone remembers their first kiss and the first time they had intimate, physical relations, but do you remember your first childhood sweetheart where there were no pressures on either side? Why is it that this one sweetheart is unforgettable of all the other relationships you’ll ever have?

As we get older and fall in and out of love, it’s that one soul mate, that first soul mate – whether you are seven or seventy-seven – that introduces you to what it feels like to be in love. The reason why it is so memorable and so magical is that this is the time when you love someone outside of the family circle and it stirs emotions that are new to you, yet oh-so-wonderful. While it leaves you with many confused feelings because it is your first, it makes you feel alive like never before.

Just like any other kind of soul mate, our childhood sweetheart will, in time, leave us to embark on their own life journey, but they leave with us an urge to experience that same feeling with someone else again. It is that first experience with love that gets the ball rolling in a quest to recapture that exhilirous feeling of having someone love you and you giving love in return.
As a child growing up on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, and then in Burbank, California, I was painfully shy. If a boy were to so much as say hi to me, I’d run. However, I found that boys didn’t want anything to do with girls at this stage so the most contact I had with them was trying to beat them up for different, odd-like things that boys of a young age do.

Also, there was a stigma associated with having a boy like you and that you’d get a bad case of cooties and would have to spend the rest of your life in bed which was something close to called “the kiss of death.”

When I entered into the fourth grade, I still had this mindset that boys were to be avoided, but there was one boy who stood out from the rest. His name was Bruce (his last name escapes me). Bruce and I attended Abraham Lincoln Elementary School in Burbank, California, in the early sixties. The face escapes me, but it wasn’t so much as physical looks, but what he was as a “person” that made me rethink the cootie theory.

Bruce was well liked by everyone. I don’t recall why, but I do remember that he had this unmistakable charisma that made you want to respond to his “hi” if the situation warranted it, even as red-faced as you were.

One day, the class was playing some kind of game where you take your fist and hit the ball against this backboard and the opposing team member did the same. They might have called it handball; I’m not sure.

I was terrible at sports. But, Bruce let me win that round that day.

The feeling that gave me is so hard to put into words. I knew that he could have beaten me hands tied behind his back, but he let me win. It was that very day that confirmed that Bruce and I were soul mates. He was the first boy in my whole short life who wanted to see me do something great and feel good about myself and that stuck with me the rest of my life.

I never found out what happened to Bruce, yet every now and then, I’d get this urge to see if I could find him. Internet searches turned up not much as I didn’t have a last name to go by, yet I’ve always had this urge to want to contact him. Why? I’m not even sure, except maybe to thank him for showing me a side of the opposite sex that was quite surprising, even for a nine-year-old.

Another reason I think he holds a candle to my heart could be that he was a part of my past – a part of my past I will never be able to capture except in my memories. And it is that past that people want to hold on to as it’s part of their history – part of them that shows them who they were at one time and, although our past has a lot to do with who we are today, they can never relive.

We can’t go backwards in time, but it’s those small things about our past that stand out more than the rest. It is our childhood sweethearts that we hold a special place in our heart and which shapes our future relationships in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

Do you have a childhood sweetheart that still holds a candle to your heart? If so, please email me at thewriterslife@yahoo.com or leave a comment here. There is a section in my book on soul mates (and another book in the works) that explains how our childhood sweethearts have an influence on our lives. If you would like to tell me your story, and would like to be interviewed, please let me know. It's an important part of our lifetime of relationships and my books will show you why. Thanks!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief...Dreamer?

Okay, I'm going to relieve you of all this soul mate stuff and give you something else to read here tonight. I took a test and well...here's the results....

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination.
You were born to be a doctor.


They are sooooo wrong. I don't even like looking at PICTURES of hospitals and those TV shows where they gruesomely show you every aspect of an operation down to blood and gore and human insides? ACK.

Before I graduated high school, I knew what I wanted to do when I got out and that was not stepping a foot in another learning institution the rest of my life. Where everyone else was talking about what college they were going to after they graduated, I was holing myself up in the bathroom dreaming of the day school was history.

Am I the only one who didn't have any ambition?

After I graduated, I flew to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida (by myself) fully intending on going to modeling school. What possessed me to come up with that idea is beyond me, but I never went. Again, a dreamer.

After I was bored with that, I flew back home and found a job in a vegetable packing plant. Talk about boring jobs. The conveyer belts made me feel quite nauseaus and since the manager didn't like it that I was spending more time in the john puking my brains out than actually WORKING, they let me go.

By that time, I had met my intended marriage partner and married. I thought...this is cool...no more having to work ever again!

Marriage was a big eye-opener. Bills were another.

I got a job working as a clerk in a record store. Now you would think that at twenty-years-old, this would be a job made in heaven. Unfortunately, I grew bored with standing around dusting the unsold record players and guitars and quit.

By that time, Hamburger Helper was getting pretty old, so my step-father hired me as a taxi driver. This was more my speed as I could get out into the fresh air and have more freedom than I could standing around a shop looking silly. And bored.

That job lasted a few weeks until some woman wanted me to take her dog to the vet and the dog turned on me.

My next job was as a waitress in a spanky seafood restaurant. The dollar bills I pulled out of my apron was such a high and I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. Then, the manager hits on me and I quit. Long story.

Marriage lasted for almost twenty years, I had two children and then when the ex left, I was forced again into the work force.

I tried other clerk jobs but nothing fulfilled me and it wasn't until I got back in waitressing did the money start coming in again and I liked the feeling of constantly being on the go.

While the waitressing pays the bills, I'm still a dreamer. Dreaming of that book deal in the future. Waiting for that lucky break when I can do what I've always dreamed of doing and that is living off my writing. Some authors are lucky enough to be in that position, but very few. I may be a dreamer, but that much I do know.

I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, but meanwhile, I'll keep my dreams and maybe one day I'll be able to do nothing all day but write. What a nice dream, though. They say you should reach for your dreams and make them a reality. That's what I'm doing. Whether I succeed or not, at least I'm doing what I love to do. There is a saying that you should find a job you love to do and you'll never have to work another day the rest of your life. That's a dream anyone can turn into reality if they stay on the right path, don't give up and reach for their highest expectations.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Perils of Being a Know-It-All

You know, the trouble with writing a book, especially non-fiction and one you've poured all your waking minutes into, is that when people see you coming, they run.

It's not that you're having a bad hair day or you forgot to put on antiperspirant, but because they know when that when they see you coming, you're going to give and give and give what newfound knowledge on your intended subject you loooooove to give to the point where they just know they are going to have to stay in the same spot for god knows how long and listen to your blatherings of whatever your intended subject is.

Take today, for example.

As I have to work to pay for my "writing hobby," I am presented daily with all sorts of people who know me pretty well, namely, my co-workers. Now, my co-workers and I get along great. However, they are soooooo politically-soul mate-naive.

So, of course, whenever the timing is right and before they have the chance to get away (run for high heavens), I grab that available opportunity to give my undying wisdom on my intended subject. And I feel that by giving this undying wisdom on my intended subject that I know like the back of my hand, I can help (save the world and have a statue erected in my name) them.

Keep in mind that my co-workers (victims) are all in their early twenties and go through the normal girl/boy relationship problems so as I had just written the section about this age group, I thought that today I was going to give this wisdom to them and they could do with (ignore) it as they want.

Take Paul, for example. Paul is in his late twenties and divorced. He's pining for my daughter who knows he's not her soul mate and he's accepting that. Well, Paul was talking about bowling and how he's aiming for the major league. I almost ignored what he said, but then I walked over him and said, "Paul, do you know that you are in the perfect position for your soul mate to enter your life?"

Well, he laughs of course, and says, "But who is my soul mate?"

He probably regretted saying that because instead of letting him work, I had him cornered, telling him all about how there is no "the one" out there for you, that you have many soul mates and that because he has goals and is working towards those goals, he's in perfect prime for his soul mates to enter his life.

This went on and on, but I couldn't stop.

A couple minutes later, after Paul was shifting from one foot to the other impatiently, another co-worker happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Leon and Michelle had been having major problems. Leon had a lot of inner hostility to get a handle on and Michelle was getting tired of his behavior. I usually kept silent, but I was on a roll.

"Leon, do you know that Michelle is your soul mate?"

Well, after he died laughing and called her a word I can't mention here, I explained that she came into his life for childbearing and sometimes when the "mission has been accomplished" and only negative feelings are present, it may be time to move on.

Well, I think I got to him. I don't know if I got to Paul who had managed to escape and was on the other side of the room, but for once I think I saw Leon really evaluate the situation.

Next was Travis. Well, Travis was smart. He knew what had been going on and no sooner than I started to explain why you have to be in the right place, at the right time, he exclaimed, "Gotta pee!"

I turned back around and my audience had disappeared. I felt like the kid in HOME ALONE. "I made my co-workers disappear!"

I usually don't give advice unless asked. I just hate to be a know-it-all. But, then again, anyone in here need help in the soul mate area? Huh? Where'd everybody go? Oh, come on, you guys. This isn't funny. Help....

Friday, November 04, 2005

I Hit 40,000 Words Tonight!

Eek, I'm so sorry...I've been really bad at stopping off at everyone's blog, but I am so proud to announce I've hit the 40,000 word mark on my soul mate how to book. I made my 5,000 word goal! I'm not sure if I'll hit 80,000 words, but that's my plan. I've still got more interviews to do and add a couple more sections and complete all the chapters to perfection, so maybe I'll come close anyway.

This has taken over my life. I have met so many warm people who I've corresponded with recently and it just warms my heart that there are so many soul mate couples out there. Okay, those without soul mates, hold yer horses, the book is coming!

Actually, I am anxious to get it finished so I can get back into my other books. They are calling but they're going to have to wait. When I'm on a roll, I've learned not to stop or it'll be months before I go back to it.

But, I don't know when I've been so happy or more prolific. Maybe this is my calling after all?

Hell yeah it is. Okay, I'm off to visit everyone's blogs!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Call for Quotes for New Soul Mate Book

Anyone else wake up freezing their tabookas off? Whatever happened to fall anyway?

Well, I got 4,000 more words written on the book yesterday. Didn't make my 5,000 word goal but as I had to take off from work because I was feeling poorly (wanted to work on book), that's not too bad, I guess. Grand total so far is: 32,084 words!

Oh, I just posted this to the Boomer Women board and it's going out in their next newsletter, but I wanted to give anyone who happens to stop by a chance to become involved in my book if you are interested. As you know, this is a how to soul mate book and one of the sections is related to finding your soul mate later in life. Later in life meaning in your later thirties and beyond.

If you have found your soul mate later in life, I have some questions I'd like to ask you.

Also, I'm looking for stories you might be able to tell me about your childhood sweetheart. Did you have one and how do you feel about them today sort of thing.

Be sure to let me know which (later in life or childhood sweetheart) when you respond and I'll clue you in on the details.

I'll probably need quotes for other sections, so mark this blog!

Email me privately at thewriterslife@yahoo.com.

Thanks a bushel and a peck!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Sad Story on New Orleans Writers Flooded Out During Katrina

There was an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal today titled, "Words Can't Describe What Some Writers In New Orleans Lost." It saddens me to think that these writers lost every written word they had, some even on the bridge of being completed and ready to go to the publisher. You can read the article here, but please come back as this is really important.

Reading the article, you could tell the inhabitants of the flood areas didn't realize that the water would rise as high as it did and only placed their precious works only high enough that that thought the waters would rise.

Isn't this a lesson that all of us can learn?

If I had everything I have written wiped out, I don't know if I could or even want to start over. I would sink in a depression and I don't even know if I'd ever want to ever write another word again. Can you imagine what they are going through?

BACK UP YOUR WORK AND PUT IT IN SEVERAL PLACES.

I must be naive because not all of my work is backed up. If I were to have everything I owned wiped out because of this negligence on my part, I would only have myself to blame.

I know there are several ways to back up your work, but the one that works best for me right now is to send entire manuscripts that are finished to one of my email accounts. I can always access my email on any computer.

However, that isn't enough and since reading this article, I'm going to spend the better part of the day backing up my work by several methods and not just the one.

Speaking of my work, I got 5,000 words written yesterday. Is that wowzers or what. I'm now up to 28,148 words and I haven't even begun to write today. Feeling kinda poorly...think it's a cold working on me and I hope it doesn't go into a flu. Or bronchitis which I get once a year, but it's a little too early for that to hit.

I'll tell you what anyone who is reading this can do for me, though. I have a section in my book where I answer soul mate questions. It's a rather large part of the book and I need about thirty more soul mate questions to complete this section and I've run out of questions that has already been asked. If you have a soul mate question or a relationship question pertaining to your soul mate or soul-mate-to-be, would you send it to me? Muchos glacias. The book should be done by the end of the month, so if you could send that to me as soon as possible, I'd kiss the ground you walked on.

Anyway, back up those files and make it your best writing day ever!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Touching on the Karmic Soul Mate Subject

Surprise, surprise, we got no trick-or-treaters last night. Guess the lights out did the trick. In the soft glare of the only light I had on - the computer - I managed to get a little more done in the soul mate book.

As of this morning, here's my progress:

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
23 / 80
(28.7%)
A long ways to go but being as I've only been working on it for a few days now, that's not too bad.

I'm working on the karmic soul mate section, explaining what it is by giving examples. One is a young woman who used to live with us and another is a friend from high school.

We touch on each others lives everyday and if you give it some thought, you probably can come up with a few karmic soul mates in your own life.

Have you ever had anyone come into you life on a platonic level that touched you so deeply, you'll never forget them?

These are your karmic soul mates and can be anywhere from close friends, family, co-workers, even pets!