KNOWING - THE MOVIE

You'll never believe in all your born days what I just did.

WENT TO A MOVIE!

It was BF's crazy idea. I know, I know...but he asked me if I wanted to go see this new movie out called, "Knowing," and the previews WERE fantastic, so I figured one time out of the house in the middle of tour season wouldn't hurt me and might give me a much needed break.

Okay, I'm not quite sure how to put this. It wasn't terrible and was good in some parts but the ending absolutely sucked! I don't know, I like happy endings...this ending was kind of weird. I remember when it was over and I kept saying to myself, "Did I like it or not like it?" Nicholas Cage played an alright part...I don't think this was one of his best acting job and the two little kids were alright, but I can't say they'd be up for an Oscar anytime soon. I hoped it was just me because the movie was so hyped up, but while I was waiting for BF to do his little tinkle tinkle after the movie was over, I overheard this guy talking on a cell phone. He said, "It started off good but then there were all these damn aliens."

It starts out in this classroom where the kids are putting together a time capsule. Everyone is supposed to draw a picture of what they think the world will look like in fifty years when the school digs it back up. One of the little girls, I can't think of her name, drew a bunch of numbers across the paper. So when they are burying the time capsule, the little girl is standing off the end of the schoolyard staring into the trees. The teacher calls her but she doesn't turn around. The teacher goes to do something and the girl has disappeared. She finally finds her hours later inside a storage closet with blood on her hands. She has etched some kind of date or something into the wall and she's yelling at the teacher to tell them to stop talking.

Fast forward fifty years and Nicholas Cage and this little boy who plays his son, Caleb, are at the "capsule unveiling." All of the kids are to get one envelope that is tucked inside. Caleb gets this number drawing and instead of leaving it at school, he takes it home.

His father finds it later and discovers that the numbers are the exact dates of these huge disasters that have killed people in the last fifty years. The thing is, if you're paying attention, the little girl who drew it in the first place, must have been able to see into the future, right?

Now the father goes to warn people that a disaster is about to happen, but no one listens. Sure enough, they do happen.

All along, these strange looking space aliens who are disguised to look like real people are trying to contact Caleb the same way they contacted the little girl fifty years ago. I know, it's confusing.

I won't give away the ending or more of the plot except to say I left that theater with a doom and gloom kind of feeling. It's not a bad movie...the special effects were pretty good down to the space alien spacecraft, but I don't think the acting was all that great at all. I don't know what was wrong with these people. None of them moved me. Even the king Nicholas Cage tried to put on a good performance but I don't think the part was right for him unless it was just me.

All in all, I can't really say it was a bad movie and I was glad I saw it but I wouldn't see it again nor would I rent it. Sorry...I don't like leaving the movie theater feeling as if the world is going to end any minute, but then, maybe that's what the producers wanted us to feel like. I guess the movie did make you kinda sorta think that.

But I'll tell you what I did take notice about. Have you ever heard anything as ridiculous as 2 boxes of popcorn and 2 drinks coming to $24? That was more than the tickets!

The Curse of Friday the 13th

Happy Friday the 13th everyone! I'm not superstitious, so the day can come and go without worrying I'm going to fall off the face of the earth, but it reminded me of a story I'd like to share with you.

My grandmother was like me. Not superstitious except for 2 things - laying hats on beds and coat hangers on doorknobs. You could never do either or something horrible - although we knew not what - was going to happen to you before the end of the day.

But Friday the 13ths would come around, year after year, and she wasn't any more paranoid about the day than a man in the moon.

When I wasn't even born, the story goes she was upset with my grandfather because he was across the street downing a few drinks with the locals at the gas station where older men often hung out for nothing better to do. It was a small town and I don't know if it was allowed or not, but drink and carry on they did night after night.

She couldn't take it anymore and was madder than a wet hen, so she goes flying across the street to tell his ass to come home. However, she never made it. A car struck her, she ended up in the hospital and came home with a stiff leg. Back in the day, they couldn't fix it, only save it, I guess. So, she lived the rest of her life with this one stiff leg. At first when I saw it, it made me feel a little uneasy being a kid and all, but I soon got used to it. And I also found out, stiff leg and all, that woman could race you around with a wooden spoon to tan your hide faster than you could run yourself.

Years later, I was in my early teens, and still living with my grandmother, Friday the 13th rolled around. Nothing was really said about the day; we carried on as usual. I went to school and my grandmother went to work at the local hospital.

We get a call. She has fallen down and broken her good leg by slipping on something in the floor. She recovered, the leg was back to new before too long and at least didn't end up stiff like her other one.

Every since that day, Friday the 13th took on new meaning for her. I guess you have to have something bad happen to you on that day to be superstitious when it rolls around.

My grandmother isn't with us anymore, but I imagine she's up in Heaven barricaded off with clouds and whatever else you have up there in Heaven and fully avoiding coming out.

How is your Friday the 13th? Do you lock yourself inside or go out as usual thinking nothing of it?

Hip Chick or Over the Hill?

Before I begin this blog post, I want to say how awfully sorry I haven't posted lately. The tours have been keeping me super duper overly occupied. I don't think anyone knows there's a recession going on because we've doubled our clients these past two months, which is a good thing being as I'm saving for that big screen TV..haha.

But it can get tiring. I'm not what you'd call an obsessive workaholic, but when it comes to my passion - my tours - I take on quite a few obsessive habits like staying up 'til the roosters crow because I want so much for my authors and I feel if I don't give my all, I have let them down.

But today I took a little me time and decided that since American Idol was coming on, I was going to take 2 hours and do nothing but become a couch potato.

However, a trip to Wal-Mart turned me into wonder woman and you'll find out why at the end of the story.

I told my daughter I wanted this fake bamboo tree from Wally World. I had bought a string of white lights over Christmas for a just in case time such as this and I'm so glad I did. I was going to move the furniture around and move the real tree (can't think of the name of it but I've had it for about 15 or so years and I call it my monster tree) over to the other side of the living room and place it in front of the second set of sliding glass doors that overlook the deck which is off from my living room and I was going to put the fake bamboo tree with the lights on the side of the living room that had the wraparound couch and in front of the first set of sliding glass doors that overlooked the deck also. If you're following, you're doing great.

So off to Wally World we go. The pickings were slim about this time and only 3 were left. I mean, this tree was only $30, which was really cheap, and I guess that's why there were only 3 left.

So I'm dragging the best one of the three through the store when I remembered I wanted to stop off at the medicine section and try to find some of those really cool pills I used to take for menopause. Now, listen, I'm no old lady, but they did give me more energy, something that was very much lacking lately. Unfortunately, the pills were still out of stock. I had been there 3 times looking for those suckers and all three times they were never on the shelf.

But...I decided to take a risk and buy some others that promised to relieve hot flashes, night sweats, irritability and FATIGUE. Well fatigue was the major word here. If it relieved fatigue, then it would mean more energy, right?

So we get home and put the groceries away and as I took them out of the bag, I decided I'd pop one.

Let me tell you ho-ney...this is what happened.

I grilled chicken and hot dogs while rearranging the living room singlehandedly which included moving a pool table to the other end of the room, moving the loveseat to the other end, scrubbed the carpet, moved the monster tree over to the other side of the room, put lights on the bamboo tree and situated that at the other side of the room, lugged a mattress and a boxspring again singlehandedly by myself down a flight of stairs and out to the carport to wait until they could go into the storage room tomorrow and played a few games of toss the ball with Max.

And what's even more amazing is that it's after midnight and I'm no more tired than a man on the moon and it didn't dawn on me until just now that maybe just maybe these might be the pills of champions.

When I start leaping tall buildings with a single bound, better come get me.

Happiness Video

This is long, but can you believe I cried at the end? So much for happiness video, lol!

What's Your Secret Place?

I think I've got the crud. Not real sure, but it's pointing in that direction. I was feeling really shitty all day long, so about 7 p.m., I lied down on the couch and somewhere around that time, American Idol Rewind came on and I fell asleep.

I got back up about 11:30 just about when my daughter came home from work. I decided to try to do more tour stuff, then go on back to bed, but a blog post idea came to me after I "friended" Ryan Seacrest on Twitter, then found out I forgot to "friend" CNN, my most favorite television show of all time right behind American Idol. Somehow that's like comparing oranges to apples, but anyway, I came upon this site.

When I feel better, maybe I'll send something in to them, but it made me think in my pre-sick delusional state, of just what my secret place really was. Was it one place? A combination of many places?

After visiting the Smoky Mountains several years in a row, I decided that was the place where when I died, I wanted my ashes to be spred, so if I had to pick a favorite place, a secret place, it would be right here...


My daughter and son knows all about this particular secret spot and it wouldn't be hard to find at all. There's a certain cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Go outside on the deck with the hot tub, look toward the uhh east maybe, well off the deck anyway, and that's the spot.

I could go on and on about this spot but I'm fading fast and need to go on back to bed.

Do you have a secret spot? If you blog about it, leave the link in your comments so we all can go take a peek!

Bon soir, my boomer friends...

How Email Marketing and Guest Blogging Worked for Me

Yesterday was such a crazy, crazy day. I've got only a few days left before the March authors need to be out in the cyberworld and instead I was playing around with email marketing. I figured it's good to learn these things, you know?

What happened was I was a guest blogger at Denyse Bridger's Fantasy Pages. Denyse said she and Heather were going to be promoting it in groups, so I decided I'd try to bring in some hits from my email contact list. I didn't get very far because I have so many contacts, but what I did get through resulted in several things happening. I was able to contact past clients who was able to come over and give their input on their experiences, but I also reconnected with an old friend who started out as a publicist for a very high ranking publishing firm we'll just call Judy.

Judy had left the old publishing firm months ago and we lost contact. Her email address she was using was picked up by the head of this old publishing firm and who I had to deal with instead of Judy as far as getting payment and signing up new authors. It wasn't the same. Not that he wasn't cordial; he just wasn't Judy.

I must have had another email address for Judy that I didn't know about but she was one in which I sent promo to about this talk over at Denyse Bridger's Fantasy Pages.

What resulted in that was our friendship was reunited. I had no idea what happened to her, but was delighted to learn she was now working for a new publisher and not only was she signing up for a tour for her and her sister, she was going to see what she could do about getting this new publisher signed on with us. But, here's even greater news...I saw a book on the publisher's website and asked if she could check to see if I could review it. This is the book. It's like O.M.G.
Yes, it's being sent to me!

While all this in itself is enough to keep me on Cloud 9 forever, I also sold a tour and have others requesting applications.

Now, if I can do this at just one stop and the authors on tour have approximately 20 stops, what will happen for them?

We all learn and this was a major breakthrough. I wore the author's shoes yesterday and it was really fun and eye-opening. I'm going to be doing more guest spots and interviews in the upcoming weeks to see if I can't find the secret to selling books, but it's all about the exposure.

Well, gotta run, I now have a lot of catch up to do!

A Cure for Incessant Happiness

Finally, there's a cure for that annoying person who is constantly on the happy end of the stick. Watch!

My Feng Shui is Off Balance

Okay, so BF has left again. He plays these disappearing acts all the time. I get to the point that when he says he's leaving, I just keep watching television like he didn't say anything. He packs up his stuff and I'm sitting there laughing at Golden Girls. He storms out of the driveway and I switch over to Orange County Housewives, or whatever the show is called. And then I go upstairs and work on my tours.

BF and I have had a strange kind of relationship for the past 13 years. We're more or less what I would call best friends.

Now, BF and my daughter are from different planets. And they're both warring planets at that. They hate each other more than I hate it when Max indoctrinates my kitchen chair legs in the middle of the night (like I didn't know who did it). So the reason why he left was because he broke the cardinal rule that he can't come into the house when I'm not home and I called him on it. So, he huffs and puffs and says he's going to a hotel.

Anyway, you would think I'd be a little upset, and maybe I am a little just because I don't know if he's dead or alive. I would presume someone would have told me by now, but still.

So the first night he's gone, I sleep like a baby. When my eyes popped open, the first words out of my mouth was "no doom" which meant I was okay with everything and the first thing I did was rearrange the room. You know, out with the old sort of thing.

I moved the bed caddy-cornered this time as I've never had it like that yet. It looked great from the door. The new bedspread was put back on the bed and it was really looking nice.

Well, I kept waking up. Max kept hogging the bed and Cassie kept me up with her snoring. I don't know if that was what was waking me up but I tossed and turned all night.

The next night, last night, I tried it again. Same thing. Got up at 2 a.m., ate a sandwich and went back to bed thinking maybe I was hungry or something (damn diets).

I told my daughter that something was obviously wrong. Was it bad feng shui to have the bed caddy-cornered? I wasn't dizzy, just felt "off balance." Something was definitely wrong. Could it be the window now wasn't behind me, but to my left? Feng shui experts, help!

I decided maybe the room needed a change. I went to Wally World and bought a fake bamboo tree, put lights on it and sat it in one of the corners. I mean, this room is really looking great.

So, we'll see, but if there are any feng shui experts out there, what in the heck am I doing wrong?

I don't mind change but don't take me off automatic pilot

I don't mind change. They can put up a super mall down the street and I am so there. They can build a new hotel next door and that's great as long as they don't block my view. Anything that boosts the island's economy and gives the locals as well as the tourists something to do, I am all over it.

So I really welcome change. Unless...it takes me off automatic pilot and becomes one big annoying hassle.

I'm talking about computers. I've killed mine. Okay so I learned my lesson and will never download anything over the Internet again. I promise and I'm not crossing any fingers. But I've killed it.

Because my online business depends on being ONLINE, I didn't freak because my daughter has a brand new laptop that I've been meaning to use but just never had the time for it and I just figured that while my computer was in intensive care, I would borrow my daughter's.

You know how when you're a kid and there's this little girl who owned the best looking white shoe skates in all the world and you just wished for one minute, she'd say, "Here, you can try them."?

And then when you put them on, it was like a second pair of shoes and you were whizzing up and down the sidewalk until dark?

Well it was sorta like that only when you're older, sometimes what looks and sounds good isn't exactly the way it is.

Especially when you're busy and everything that was on automatic pilot...isn't.

Laptops are a whole different breed. No mouse and you have to use your finger and until you get used to it, you feel like your fingers have just run the marathon. I can see myself sleeping and my finger still twitching.

I'll tell you something else that is even more fun than that - cutting and pasting. Have you ever gone from a desk computer to a laptop for the first time and tried cutting and pasting? I have it now, but damn all the time I wasted trying to figure it out.

I'm not saying I'm not grateful because I am, but the kind of word this machine has really sucks. No fancy fonts and I have not figured out how to put something in a new doc if it wasn't in a doc in the first place. Cutting something from an email into a new doc, well, you can forget it.

And where's the noise? This thing is way too quiet.

So anyway, what would take fifteen minutes takes about an hour because none of my files are on here, no images, nothing. It puts new meaning into PITA and I'm not happy.

So I find out the prognosis of my machine tonight. He's on life support right now and I'll find out whether he's going to make it at 6 p.m., or at least an update.

I cannot wait.

Whatever happened to old-fashioned rabbit ears?

A woman after my own heart...



I love her! We had rabbit ears. Anyone remember that? Sure...this was before digital TV, before cable, before satellite dish. Just an old-fashioned system of planting an antenna up on a telephone pole and hoping it was high enough to get a good signal and when it didn't, you'd grab a roll of tin foil and wrap it around the antennas right there on your TV.

My aunt. Man, I envied my cousins. Their TV was high up on their telephone pole and they didn't have to use rabbit ears. I remember when they came out with Wizard of Oz and I KNEW we weren't going to get it clear and might not even get it at all.

I suckered my cousin into letting my sister and I watch it over to their house. Uncle Cecil, he was a trip. Hated kids. Hated Wizard of Oz. I knew he'd be passed out on the sofa anyway.

It was summer, I remember that plain as day. Icecube popsickles and Wizard of Oz. What a night.

Of course, Uncle Cecil would wake up in the middle and start in. I heard he threw a lamp at my aunt one time and after that, I lost all respect for him. What an ass.

But rabbit ears. Good old fashioned rabbit ears.

Thank God for progress.