Monday, April 16, 2018

Monday, April 16, 2018 - Almost

I sit here as usual with keys under my fingers and the TV blasting the news. I really don't hear the TV. My mind is still on what might have happened, but didn't. daughter is going through invitro fertilization. She's about to turn 40 and has yet to become pregnant. If there was anyone in the world who wanted a child more, it has to be her. She takes the mommy-to-be award of the year for her determination to not let anything stop her from getting her dream to the point where she was willing to go for invitro fertilization. It ain't cheap.

But let me back up. Like a lot of young women these days, a career sometimes is put at the top of that long list of accomplishments. Through a lot of hard work, she paid her way through nursing school, went on to become a Registered Nurse and this summer will get her BA. She claims I'm the reason why she has gotten this far and I shook my head and said, "No, you did it yourself." I did provide a loving home so she didn't have to fork out expenses toward that, but other than that, she did it on her own paying for everything.

I'm proud of her. Very proud. And we're close. Very close.

So today was the day she was to have her eggs extracted and Saturday was the day she was going to have them inserted only it didn't work out that way.

About an hour after she got home, she got the devastating news from the doctor. The eggs were immature. It didn't work.

If you could have been there with me consoling your crying daughter because after all she went through to have a baby, it just wasn't going to work.

I did pray to God this morning. I don't know if I prayed for the wrong thing but my prayers weren't answered.

She has one more chance to do it again. We don't know what she's going to do, but she said she couldn't think about this right now. She is in pain - from the surgery today and the pain that her dream just might not be answered.

I don't know what to think. I'm in shock and I'm numb. We both knew it might not work. They could only retrieve 2 eggs. I guess that might have to do with her age, God knows, but those two eggs didn't pass the test.

We grieve for these eggs. These eggs were the beginning of life and part of the dream. And they're gone.


  1. Oh my so frustrating and heartbreaking hopefully there will be another chance.
    Luckily my kids have done well with careers and children at a younger age.
    Our prayers go out to you and your daughter,

  2. Honey I’m so very sorry to hear that. And please know you will ALL be in my prayers for this to work. This is just heartbreaking because I have been in her shoes of course like 35 years ago, but it’s hard to hear that bad news, and you’re on pins and needles until you hear anything. I will pray my heart out for her, and the family honey ☹️


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