Sunday, July 5, 2009

Boomer Chick Plays Evel Knievel on Independence Day

So it was the 4th of July yesterday. The original plan was to light fireworks at the end of the dock only the guy who was selling the illegal good stuff wasn't there anymore so we figured we'd just go to the end of the dock and watch the fireworks that were going off at the carnival grounds the Chincoteague fireman shoot off every year. Even though we wouldn't be sitting right there in front of them, we were close enough to see them when they shot them in the sky.

It ended up sounding like a great idea because the crowd was HORRIBLE as you'll see why in a few minutes.

We decided to wait until the carnival just opened and then run in there and let my daughter grab the pizza and clam fritter (or is it oyster fritter?) sandwich and a candy apple and head on back home to wait for the fireworks to start. It was just her and I being as my son and ex had been out fishing all day and so the son decided he'd rather stay home being as he was not only beat from that, but figured by the time I went back to get him, the lines getting over to the island would be so backed up, we wouldn't make it back in time.

So, my daughter and I run out the carnival to get her some food and I notice the crowd wasn't too bad about that time. It was only 7:30 and since the fireworks wasn't going to happen until 10, the real crowd hadn't arrived yet.

Now I don't know what happened in between then and the time I decided riding out there on scooters would be a good idea, but I can only attribute it to the fact I was caught in the moment. It was so exciting to see everyone lined up already waiting for the fireworks which weren't going to happen until a few hours later (guess they wanted a front row seat and they got it). And I, for some insanely dumb reason, wanted to be in the middle of it all. On scooters.

So we get back to the house, she downs her food and she tells me she's going for a scooter ride to pass the time. And I say, "I wanna go, too!" She frowns, knowing full well I can't go as fast as she does (she gets so mad at me), so she says we'll just go ride down to the end of the street by the marina, turn around and come back. Well, we get down there and she says, "It sure is chilly," and I say, "Let's go back to the house, then we'll go from there."

So we get back to the house and here's where another insane moment comes in. I say, "Let's just ride out there and play it by ear." I figure if the crowd is too bad, all we have to do is turn around. I mean, how hard can that be to do on a scooter?

Well, it's about an hour before fireworks start and I want you to picture this. Picture a tiny island with 2 lanes but now the 2 lanes looks like the middle of Manhattan. There are cars lined up on one side of the street (allowed because usually we're a pretty quiet little town), so now a 2 lane road is suddenly 3 lanes and the cars that are parked? Well, here's a true story. One of the cars passing another car that is parked knocked the mirror right off his car, it was that close. New York city at its finest.

And we're going at snail speed. I pull up to Melissa and I tell her we need to get off this and onto a side road. It was crazy.

We pull off a side road and it didn't do a bit of good. The cop was directing traffic at the light to make everyone veer off to the left instead of the right where the carnival grounds were so that they would have to go on all the side roads to get to the carnival. So now the side roads were all backed up.

Now you have to know Melissa. She's not very patient. I was waving at someone I knew while we were at a standstill, not moving and wasn't going to be moving anytime soon, and I catch a glimpse of Melissa jumping up on the sidewalk and barreling down it.

O...kay. Uh, like wtf? I couldn't lose her because if I did, she wouldn't see me behind her and would think I had gotten run over or something and would never find me so it would be a horrible night so I took a deep breath and tried to hop the curb but unfortunately I don't think I had the get up and go Melissa did because the thing wasn't jumping nothing.

I see her waaaaaaay ahead of me by now, I'm freaking because I know I'm going to lose her and I take one last try and BOOM I was up on the sidewalk and if there were anyone on it, God love'em because they wouldn't be standing today. I remember as I hopped the sidewalk, I must have been being watched because I heard a man say, "You go, girl!"

So I'm barreling down the sidewalk and I expect someone to yell at me saying I can't do it or cussing at me, something, but I make it all the way past all the cars and I can barely see Melissa up ahead. It's like she doesn't care and was out for her own self, never mind her boomer chick mama who hates going that fast on a scooter but I haul ass.

We get back home and I tell her that's the most insane thing I have ever done and will never do it again. It was night, I'm hauling ass and there are cars in front of me, back of me, to the side of me, it's a wonder there weren't any cars barelling down the sidewalk, too.

All ends well. We put the scooters up against the side of the carport, go out and watch the fireworks on the dock and chalk it up to another exciting 4th of July. After I changed my underwear.

So how did everyone spend their 4th?


  1. We invited some neighbors over for a BBQ, sat around talking, then watched local fireworks (the illegal kind that go way up in the air) from outside our park until 22:00 when the Seattle TV station came on with their telecast of the main Seattle display over Lake Union. So we sat out in the sunroom in the dark and watched that on HiDef TV. A good, quiet night for us.

  2. Whoa Dorothy!

    Front wheel in the air, screaming past the cheering crowds, hair streaming behind her in the wind! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's SUPERDORFFY!

    Boogie on crazy mama!


  3. ROFLMAO...thanks for your encouraging words, Randy!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.