Can't even buy fish right now

I was just discussing my "nightmarish" dreams with my tour coordinators and thought I'd share them with you so that maybe you can find some insight into all this, but for the last week, I've been having these dreams about Christmas.

Only, it wasn't anything Norman Rockwell about them. They were horrible. You get up Christmas morning and you forgot to buy presents. That's the sort of dream you'd have as a kid, isn't it? You run downstairs and there's nothing underneath because Mom forgot. Ever have those dreams where you're walking down the middle of the school corridor in nothing but pajamas? Sort of along the same line.

I'm still recuperating from this cold thing so maybe that's behind these crazy ass dreams, but I woke up again this morning at 4 a.m. after having another one. I went to the bathroom and prodded downstairs. Prod. How do you prod? Past tense - prodded. Well anyway, so I'm prodding downstairs and it's still dark out so you turn on a light switch and grab yourself something to drink. You forgot to find those little lightbulbs for the candles in the window or you wouldn't have had to turn on a light that blinded you so, so you're squinting and pouring, hoping it's making it into the glass.

Skylar is asleep downstairs in front of her princess play tent but none of the other doggies are awake so it's me and a princess sleeping dog.

I go back upstairs and turn on the computer for a little while, thinking I'm not going back to bed and just maybe will have to get a nap sometime during the day but you know damn well that's not going to happen because I have so much to do.

I did go back to bed around 8 and slept until 9:30, but when I jumped up, I knew I had the solution all figured out. Get the damn Christmas shopping done and these damn nightmares will go away.

It's not like I haven't started and really I could end it with what I've gotten but I have so trained myself to believe it's never enough. Why do we do that to ourselves? I have cut back and perhaps I'm feeling guilty and my real self is trying to fight with my frugal self.

Frugal Self: You're foolish.

Real Self: How so?

Frugal Self: You know the kids don't care what you give them. Your son has told you he wants nothing and your daughter tells you there's nothing out there anyway, so why do you keep banging your head against a wall over this?

There must be a happy medium, but that's how it feels inside - both selfs are fighting against one another and I have a cold on top of that.

So, today, I'm going uptown. Now...you'll get a big laugh over this or I will just in writing it but where I live in a resort, you would think there would be shopping malls and all kinds of things out there to buy someone but...it's a summer resort so you know what that means. You can't even buy fish right now.

But...there are still a few shops open so maybe....

The snow gods listened

It's 5:30 in the morning. Didn't sleep well although I was full of nice goodies that are supposed to make you sleep and keep you there. I think about 3 a.m. Cassie and I went downstairs (guess she couldn't sleep either) and finished off the crab cake dinner Melissa and I had gotten at Bill's for dinner. I was too sick to go out so she picked it up on the way back from the store.

There's snow on the ground but I'm almost certain it's not but a sheet of ice. It started icing yesterday, then turned to snow, then temperatures dropped so I can't imagine what a mess it is out there.

I've still got this humdinger of a cold. Feel like crap. Sneezing, coughing, aching...I could be a poster child for the common cold. I just have to watch it so it doesn't turn into bronchitis.

I'm usually really healthy but come winter, there's always that chance that I'll get stricken with the B word. Really gotta cut out the smoking.

5 more days until Christmas. Just have a few last minute stuff to get. I didn't go all out this year like I did last year, but I think they'll be happy. They're not picky anyway. Both are grown and both feel rather annoyed I treat them as kids when it comes to Christmas so let's see how much they like it I listened to them this year, lol.

Well I'm going back to bed and try to get in another couple of hours. Hope you all have a safe weekend and don't eat the yellow snow unless you're starving...

Are the snow gods listening this year?

It's one minute before 5 a.m. I knew I was coming down with something - what was the big mystery - and now I know. I think. I have. The Cold.

I feel miserable.

Anyone notice how colder it is this year? Cold windy blasts of air coming off the ocean isn't unusual on the island this time of year, but if I can remember right, last Christmas we had the windows on the kitchen side open.

And get this...they are calling for - are you sitting down? - SNOW. Not until tomorrow and there's only a chance of it but it could get ugly.

Pfft. If it does, then I'll eat the biggest piece of yellow snow out there when it happens and I'll even take a picture of it to prove it to you.

See, the snow gods tease us every year until you get to the point where you just do not believe it's ever going to happen. We had a slight slight slight dusting last year, barely noticeable. No bundling up to take the dogs romping in it. No snow cream. No getting out of work because the roads weren't passable. Not even one bit of yellow snow. By the time the dogs peed on it, it had disappeared.

I blame the fact on global warming as I don't have any other excuse. I'm not a weather woman and I haven't bought a Farmer's Almanac in years so I don't know what it's going to do from one day to the other, but I do know we have not had a decent snow in years.

I am a snow bunny. Give me a pair of plastic shopping bags tied to my legs and I'm set. I don't need any fancy boots. In fact, we don't buy them here because it never snows so all they'd do is sit in the closet and take up room which we don't have that much of as far as storing things we don't need.

I'll have to ask someone here on the island if they remember it ever snowing here. Maybe I won't have to and it'll snow 3 feet and I'll thank the snow gods for listening to my prayers. Or, I'll be eating my words and wish for summer back.

We had an interesting day yesterday. My daughter is just now getting over food poisoning so we thought it would be safe to venture to the mall to try to find some Christmas gifts. Now...come closer and really understand this question - does anyone notice how ugly the clothes are this year? I mean, are they buying Walmart rejects, slapping a price on them and think that the buying public is going to see through it or maybe they're thinking the buying public will have no choice?

Me? I buy from QVC. You haven't lived until you have spent hours upon hours watching what great deals you can get. And they're name brands and you're more than likely not going to return them because they are so perfect and....you don't have to get into your car or truck or snow mobile to get them.

I love QVC.

Anyway, so we're out and about yesterday trying to find SOMETHING to give to my son who wants nothing. I ended up settling on a shirt in Macy's he'll probably hate. I bought a couple of gifts for co-workers at Boscov's and some lotion at Victoria Secrets for another co-worker and I was done. All that way for that.

But my daughter who knew the mall would have nothing decided to buy something a little different. See that picture to the right? That's Skylar with her brand new princess play house. I guess when you don't have kids, you buy silly little things like that for your dogs.

Well Skylar loved it, then later we found Max camped out inside it and when Skylar went to reclaim it, Max lunged at her. Melissa had to grab Skylar and fling her back, causing the both of them to land flat on their backs.

Max ain't messing around when it comes to princess play houses.

Anyway, I'm going to try to go back to bed. Feeling a little better but I'll never be able to go into work after getting up at 4 a.m. Hope you all have a good day and hope it snows!

Guest Blogger: Single at Christmas: The Best Holiday of Your Life by Barbora Knobova

We have a special guest today. With Christmas right around the corner, everyone's thoughts are on joy, happiness and spending the holidays with their special someone. Or are they? What about singles who don't have significant others? Are they doomed? Not so, says Barbora Knobova, author of Tales for Delicious Girls. Barbora offers tips to have the best holiday of your life no matter what!

Single at Christmas: The Best Holiday of Your Life
by Barbora Knobova

At Christmas a couple of years ago, I found myself in a faraway country, shortly after a bad break-up, unable to go see my family. But what seemed like a complete disaster turned out to be one of the best Christmas Holidays of my life.

Maybe you are in a similar situation this year. You are single and surrounded by happy couples. You are far from your dear ones and cannot spend the Holiday with your family. You are lonely and sad, and you feel like skipping Christmas altogether. But why should you do that? You've always loved Christmas, right? So don't let the circumstances ruin it for you and make this Christmas the best Holiday you've ever had.

1. Don't let people make you believe that Christmas is only for couples and families.
Christmas is for everyone. When someone looks at you with sorrow and says: "I'm so sorry you're alone at Christmas, it must be very sad," just smile and say: "Actually, being alone at Christmas is wonderful because you can really absorb the spirit of the Holiday without stress and shopping frenzy. You should try it too."

2. Celebrate Christmas the way you want.
If you love traditional Christmas, buy the biggest Christmas tree, the fanciest decorations, fill your house with lights, sing carols, bake tons of Christmas cookies (you can always give them to a homeless shelter and make someone's Christmas just a little bit nicer). If you have always hated traditional Christmas and the way your family, your husband or boyfriend made you spend it, why don't you celebrate it your way this year? It is your Holiday after all. You can explore Christmas food and traditions of other countries and cultures and really experiment with various ways of spending Christmas to make it unique and truly yours.

3. Buy yourself presents. Lots of them.
No unwanted, awkward presents this year. Why couldn't you have a pile of lovely presents under the tree and in the stockings? Buy everything you like, everything you wish for, and yes, splurge. Have your gifts professionally wrapped in the mall - this way you won't know what's hiding in the packages and you'll be excited to open your presents on Christmas morning.

Christmas is a wonderful holiday and it belongs to all of us, not only to married people or big families. Make Christmas your own holiday, celebrate it and spend it the way you have always wanted to. In a few years, when memories of long-gone Christmas Holidays have faded, this will be the Christmas you will always remember. In a good way.

Barbora Knobova is a writer, relationship coach and expert in Delicious Life. A world traveler, she is one of those rare world citizens who live everywhere and nowhere. Barbora is a firm believer in female friendship, loyalty and bonding. She writes hilarious, sharp-witted, caustically apt, ironic, moving, true books for strong, independent, smart, fearless women. Barbora has also written several self-improvement books and teaches women about the importance of self-love in relationships and life in general. Barbora speaks eight languages and has found her home away from home in New York, London and Milan. She is always on the move, accompanied by her beagle Brinkley, the nasty dog from Tales for Delicious Girls. You can visit her website at www.barboraknobova.com.

Humorist Pat Snyder "The Dog Ate My Planner" giving away book tomorrow!

Humorist Pat Snyder, author of The Dog Ate My Planner, will be at Pump Up Your Book on Friday, December 4, taking your questions and comments. Leave a question or a comment, along with your email address (very important), in the comment section anytime between now and 8 p.m. tomorrow night and you could win a free copy of her book!


The winner will be selected at the end of tomorrow night and announced on Monday, Dec. 7.

Find out all about writing humor from one of the most talented humorists!

Click here to enter now!

Dogs, Dogs, Dogs

I feel really bad not keeping this blog updated so I made a pact with myself to keep writing in here on a daily basis if not for therapy but to let everyone know how I'm doing.

It's. Been. Crazy.

I don't know whether it's the holidays but it seems that when the weather changed, my life has become even more chaotic. Business is going great and I shouldn't even complain as it sure does beat my "other" job, which really isn't too big a deal since it's only on the weekends, but still.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was great and I believe the major stressors set in around then. My seven-year-old cocker spaniel, Max, has an awful ear infection. We've been taking him to a doctor here on the island but the infection just wouldn't ever go away. He's had it a long time. The pills he gave me to give him would work to the extent you couldn't smell the infection but little did we know, it was eating away at his ear canal and we didn't even know it.

Over Thanksgiving, he ran out of pills. I called the vet but no one was in the Friday following Thanksgiving so we had to wait it out all weekend. I didn't want to take him to the same one as it was getting us nowhere.

Dr. Nickol's is great, only he's about an hour away and that's why we went from him to this other one when we moved to the island since the one on the island isn't but 3 minutes away. Seriously. If it's nothing major, he's great, but obviously he's not good with ear infections as the dog has had one for maybe a year now, off and on.

So over Thanksgiving, the dog was getting worse. He smelled like dead carcass, I'm serious. He had leakage out of his ear and his eyes. The once happy running-all-around dog didn't want to do anything but hang his head or sleep or shake his head.

We finally got an appointment on Monday. Dr. Nickol's said that his one ear was so bad, bone had grown over the ear canal and there was nothing short of an operation that would allow him to hear out of it again. The other one is getting near that point but there was still a little passageway.

We had to muzzle him and a good thing as he wanted to take everyone's arm off. The doctor shaved on the inside of both ears and put some kind of medication on it and told us to bring him back in 2 weeks. He gave us 2 kinds of medication to put in his ear, a wash of some kind and some pain pills. The pain pills are the only thing I can get in him as he tries to bite my hand off when I just go to put the muzzle on him, so I can't do it myself.

I was waiting for my daughter to get back from taking her Sheltie to the vet (to the tune of $180 for a skin ailment) to help me put this medication in Max and I'm waiting now for her to finish lunch so we can do it. And I'm dreading it.

Stressors, stressors, but I need to save the dog. I love him so much that when he cries out in pain, I cry out, too.

So that's the extent of my morning and what I've been going through. It seems the ill health of anyone you love takes a lot of out of you, but I do what I have to do and pray for the best.

Holiday Memories: The Many Essences of Christmas Past by J.W. Nicklaus

Today begins a month long extravaganza at As the Pages Turn with guest posts about holiday memories from authors all over the world. Today Jeff Nicklaus, author of The Light, The Dark & Ember Between, kicks off our first day with a lovely story, The Many Essences of Christmas. Click on title below and you'll be taken right to the story.

The Many Essences of Christmas Past by J.W. Nicklaus

"A small boy sits in a living room, awash in the low-tech fidelity of late 1960’s television. The CBS Special Presentation intro plays as his five-year-old eyes soak up what will become in his world, and many others, one of many Christmas season classics. Warm pajamas and blinking lights upon the tree don’t prevent the night from ending, but rather allow all the senses to coalesce into the makings of a wistful childhood memory...."

Read the rest by clicking on link above!

**Special Note**

J.W. is giving away a copy of his book today at Pump Up Your Book! Click here for details.

J.W. Nicklaus is the author of The Light, The Dark & Ember Between. Visit his website at www.avomnia.com.