Don't Come Near Me When I've Had a Rejection

Can I rant a little?

I had one bummer of a night last night.

First of all, that morning, I found out a contest I had entered and just knew that there was a good chance I'd at least place, announced their finalists and my name wasn't on the list. It wasn't like I wasn't prepared for the blow because I had heard that they'd already contacted the finalists days ago and I thought for some ungodly reason, my email from them got eaten up in cyberspace. No such luck.

So, of all days, BF and I were going Christmas shopping that night. On the way, he asked me why I was so quiet and I replied with "nothing" and tried to change the mood.

I was doing a pretty good job of hiding the fact that something I wanted so bad was just not going to happen, that is, until BF stopped at that nutrition store they have in the mall.

It got to be sooooo boring, so I told him I was going to the bookstore which was right across from this store and to meet me there when he finished.

I went in the bookstore and gazed at what books was on the shelves by people I either knew or knew of, but then that also got boring. I mean, we had been shopping for a couple of hours by that time and all I had to show for it was a toothbrush with my daughter's name on it. I was impatient and wanted to get things done and get the hell out of there and back to my house where I could sulk in complete privacy.

As BF was nowhere to be found, I went back to the nutrition store and he was gone. I went back to the bookstore and no BF. By that time, smoke was starting to pour out of my ears that even the worse hot flash couldn't touch. I mean, think about it, it's Christmas so you can imagine how many people were in the mall that night. As we both don't have cell phones, finding BF again was probably going to be almost impossible.

I started freaking. Do I go back to the car? Do I go to customer service and have him paged?

I walked and walked the mall. Up and down. Peeking in every store, cussing under my breath, vowing to kill him slowly when or if I ever did find him. Meanwhile, time was running out and I wasn't going to go home with one lonely personalized toothbrush.

And then, I saw him. At a freaking vendor in the middle of the mall with some guy trying to sell him some kind of pillow thing you put on your neck for aches and pains. Doesn't he realize to avoid contact with those people, that they'll grab you and insist and insist until you just have to walk away?

Nooooooo.

So, I find him and I want to wring his neck, but he's going, "Hey, honey, look at these, aren't they cool?"

"Fine, they're cool," I said, "Buy the freaking things and let's get outta here."

But, no, it didn't stop there. All he had to do was buy the things and we could finish our shopping and go home where I could pout, scream and do whatever it took to get over my rejection, not to mention the fact that shopping with your BF or anyone of the opposite gender is going to turn normal, healthy hairs into a nice shade of ugly grey the more you do it.

"Put this on your shoulder," he said.

"I've seen'em, I've had'em on my shoulder, I want to get outta here."

"But look at this!" he said.

He had some strange concoction in his hand. The closest I can come to describing it is it looks like a big spider with steel legs that you place on top of your head and by raising it up and down, it massages your head.

That's when the beady-eyed little foreign dude made his appearance.

Before I had time to say to BF, "I'm ready to go," the beady-eyed little foreign dude was pulling at the barrettes in my hair saying, "Take these off."

Do whaaaat?

"Take these off and I show you how it works."

Like hell I was. I kept resisting and he kept insisting.

"Take these off."

"No!"

"Take these off."

"NO!!!!!!!"

"Take these off."

Weeeell...by that time, something happened inside of me. I became what I never wanted to become this season....the typical Christmas shopper who had had enough of Christmas, enough of ho-ho-hoing around and I screamed at him.

"YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I SMOKE!"

I stomped off, leaving BF yelling for me to come back and I high-tailed it to the nearest exit and huffed and puffed away.

And vowed next year, I was doing all my shopping online.

I walked back into the mall and sat down in one of those chairs where you put in a dollar and they massage you (now that's ingenuity in the making...no beady-eyed foreign dudes involved) and I fumed away.

Finally, BF walks over to me and says, "He talked me into $80 worth of stuff, but you ought to see all these neat things..."

It served him right. I hope the little foreign dude took every last dime of his and we could finally go home.

I hope your Christmas shopping is done because, take it from me, it's a madhouse out there.

Ho. Ho. Ho.