Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Pondering the Mysteries of Life

I'm sitting here staring at my dog, Max, lying on the cold hardwood floor with the soft carpet only inches from his hind legs. Now, what's up with that?

I might not be the most enlightened person, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if it's time to go to sleep, a nice warm bed, especially in January, makes the perfect sense. Of course, you know Max from previous posts - he has no sense whatsoever.

But, then, my eyed strayed around my living room and there's a whole bunch of stuff I don't understand. They may be be little. They may be trivial. But, if you stepped outside of your reality mind-set and looked upon life from a deeper, more philosophical, ideal, then you just might drive yourself crazy as I have done this morning.

The mysteries of life is a key phrase which means, "WTF?"

Okay, I've compiled many, many, well a few, mysteries of life found right in my living room without having to even get out of my computer chair, and they are:

1. Why is there a dime on my living room floor? To an ordinary person, you wouldn't think anything of it. You might walk around it. You might even pick it up, but around here, that is highly unlikely unless you're more broke than I thought you were. The mystery of life is why is it down there? Who dropped it and didn't pick it up? Did the dime dropper realize that he's just lost 1/10th of a dollar? Did it happen to get sweeped up from the back of the house and left there by someone who didn't care? When will it get picked up? The next time the floor gets swept?

2. Okay, on to the next mystery of life...there are five stuffed animals strewn around my living room floor. I know Max did it, but what was his point? Is he half/human (God forbid) and just like a kid, he has to torment his parents by leaving his toys all around the living room without giving a darn? And what's up with the (count'em) twelve dog biscuits lying beside the stuffed animals? Who put them there and what's the point? If I'm hungry, do I throw a bunch of Snickers all over the carpet waiting for that munchie break?

3. Here's a good one. There are two opened containers of milk in the fridge. My daughter bought one a day or so ago, and BF bought one last night. They are both open. Now, what's the point? Why can't you use up one container, then start on the other? Is it because you're scared shitless of my daughter and don't want to use her milk?

4. Here's a big mystery of life...why is it I'm the only one in the world who has a corner full of boxes and a Christmas tree that was supposed to go up in the attic a week ago, still sitting there? Christmas was over on Jan.1 in this household and that was nine days ago. How long will they stay sitting in that spot before SOMEONE in this household helps me get them in the attic?
5. Oh, here's a good one, too. Why is it your car breaks down, you leave it in your yard for two or three months, waiting to be able to afford to get it fixed, then you get this bright idea to go on and get it towed and take it to the garage thinking you can afford to have it fixed when your financial status is perhaps worse after the holiday? Is that the biggest mystery of all time? Not only are you smacked with an $829 bill, but they expect you to pay this within a reasonable amount of time? Hell, if I had a thousand bucks tucked away, don't you think I would have had it fixed a long time ago?

Too many mysteries of life going on in this house. I could go on and on, but I've got a lot of work to do. I've revamped my website at if you'd like a peek, and I'm feverently (hmm...doesn't look like it's spelled right) awaiting word from a few places I inquired about a column.

Oh, and Friday, I'm hosting Kathy Holmes on her virtual blog tour for her book, "Myths of the Fatherless." Another mystery of life...why do fathers leave their daughters anyway? Guess we'll find out Friday.

You guys have a wonderful day and if you get to pondering the mysteries of life around your household, you can always say what Charles Schulz said, "I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."

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