What a terrible thing that must be for him.
My kids and I are tight. We've been through a heluva lot of things in our past, but the thing is, I have it in myself to put the past behind me. While it's hard to forgive those things that were done to my kids and myself by some of the members of my family, it's like it doesn't even matter anymore. My life now is different. My kids' lives are different. No longer do we search for a place in this world...we have claimed it and are living in the now.
Living in the now means you have finally come to the point of your life where everything seems to be following a pattern of peacefulness, productiveness and fruitfulness. If only I knew then what I know now, it might not have taken so long to get to where I am now.
Life is freaking great.
But, it wasn't so freaking great many years ago when my kids and I had no choice but to move in with an aunt I later dubbed psycho aunt.
The ex and I had broken up and PA (Psycho Aunt) asked us if we wanted to live with her. I refused at first because I didn't want to live with anyone. I just wanted my kids and I to go on with our lives and try to pick up the pieces as best we could.
Places to find within our budget was hard. We ended up going to live with PA until we could get on our feet. That was the worse decision I could have ever made, but other alternatives just weren't there.
PA had a daughter living with her. We'll call her PAD (Psycho Aunt Daughter). PAD resented us moving in and even though I was given instructions to pay 2/3 of the bills there because I had two kids, it didn't matter. PAD was out for more than that.
She was out for blood.
My daughter remembers one night when my son, daughter and I were going to sleep on the couch in the living room which was the only place we could sleep and we were talking quietly about the day's events at school when we hear "Shuddup!" coming from PAD's room. The girl was barely out of high school, yet she felt we were nothings to her. We were lowlife, I guess, because we didn't have a place to live and she did.
There were other things, too.
We lived there for 2 months and between PA taking the toothbrush holder off the wall and putting it behind her locked door because toothpaste had dripped on the sink to turning the gas off and putting a lock on it so that we would have no hot water (she would turn it back on when she got home), I look back and see what a bad decision it was to put my kids through this. But, we had no choice.
Choices in life are like golden threads of breath. When you're stuck with one choice and that choice isn't the best one in the world, what are you going to do?
Unfortunately, or fortunately, whichever way you look at it, I came home from work one day to find a piece of paper on the table telling us we had 24 hours to get out.
I look back at this and I know the reasons were that even though the thought of giving her niece and grand-neice and grand-nephew a place to call home even for a little while sounded good at the time, it really wasn't. Some people just can't live with others no matter how good the others are.
This trip down memory lane came because of a letter I received in the mail today from PA. It went on to say that if I didn't go to a lawyer's office in town to sign away my rights to her house which my grandmother had left us when she died, she won't be able to get aid to make repairs. I'm figuring that she tried to get help to fix it and they told her she had to own the house outright before it could be fixed by the county, free, of course.
When my grandmother died, the house was left to the grandchildren from what I understood. In this note, that's not how it was legally. The house actually, because no one could find my grandmother's will, to her three children - PA, my other aunt who died a few years ago and my mother who died when I was nineteen. So, my sister and I got my mother's share of the house.
According to PA, the house is falling apart and has been eaten by termites. She said the floor is falling in and the house might be condemned, so she has to get it fixed immediately.
What a dilemma.
Oh, wait there's more. She says that she has pictures of California she can give me (a bait, a bribe, or whatever you want to call it).
My aunt is 65. I'm not sure what she does for a living, but at the time I was living there, it wasn't much. Minimum wage work. I don't know what kind of income she has now but I'm sure it's miniscule. She basically has nothing and needs to get her home fixed so that she doesn't find herself on the streets.
Funny how life imitates itself.
I needed a place to stay and she threw my kids and I out, but yet, she's looking to me to help her have a place to stay which involves signing away my rights to the house.
I'm having a funny feeling PAD has something to do with this because without PAD's advice during the time we were there, my aunt would not have done that to my kids and I. PA was only 12 years older than I was and we were so close. PAD came between us and broke that bond.
So, I ask you, should I grab the pictures of California and use that as a bargaining tool and sign away the house to her or should I remember my pride and the times when she put my kids and I through holy hell and just ignore her requests?
What a decision.
Here is her note...
"Dear Dotti,Okay, what's the verdict? Sign or not?
How are you and the kids?
I need your help. I haven't talked with you in so long. Neither
of us knows about each other's lives.
Anyway, when Caroline (my other aunt) passed away - 1/3 was her share of
the house. It passed to me 1/2 (of 1/3) and you 1/4 (of 1/3) and your
sister 1/4 (of 1/3). I've told your sister I don't have any money to give
you this time...but I will ask you both to sign over your shares because...the
house is in BAD shape. The termites took their toll at the tune of over
$1,000...(four years ago). Now the floors and walls are rotting.
Especially the FLOORS! I didn't know the extent until it was too
late. Vesseg can help me - but, I need to have the house in my name.
Actually, they may condemn the house! I'm not being dramatic...it's
terrible! I need to get this done SOON. The lawyer's office is
located (and she goes on to tell me exactly where it is). Please do this
P.S. I have some photos saved for you. Can we get