Sunday, May 14, 2006

Thank You, Mother, for Letting Me Do It My Way

I'm about to do the unthinkable. I volunteered to work today. I know, send the little guys in the white coats and nets out to get me.

BF and I had planned a trip to Ocean City, but it's still too early in the season to really enjoy it, plus, his boss asked him to work four hours this morning, so I said, what the hey, I'll just go in to work being as they forgot to schedule someone in my place (I had asked for the day off and got it).

It's going to be a laid back day anyway.

Most restaurants are busy today on account of it being Mother's Day and all, but not the one I work at. I'd really rather not mention where because I don't want all you psycho people hunting me down wanting my autograph, so let's just say it's not your Ruby Tuesdays or Texas Steak House.

I've been there for ten years (this year is my anniversary date and I think I get a sticker from the company for it...wahoo) and I'm too old to change now. Boomer chicks may have what it takes, but sometimes we forgot what it took to get there.

I'm blogging today just before I go to work, but there's a point to this blog post.

No matter how old you are, most mothers are still working and even some are supporting their grown children. To them, I give my accolades and highest respects.

I am one of them.

But, soon, my daughter will be out of nursing school and will be able to support my sorry lazy a** so I'm counting the days.

I love my daughter. She and I have been through a lot in all her almost 28 years and finally she's about to find out who she is and what she wants. I didn't find that out until I was in my forties, so she's way ahead of the game.

My daughter has a lot going for her, but one thing right now is that she's strapped for cash. Working one day and going to school the rest isn't going to pay for much, but it didn't stop her from buying a card and putting a ten bucker in so I could get my prayer plant I was talking about getting. Never mind the fact that either her father or I are going to have to pay her truck payment. Ah well...it's the thought that counts.

But, I don't mind because I'm helping her achieve her goals and I only wish I had had someone help me achieve mine, you know?

My mother died when I was nineteen years old, one month after getting married. She missed the birth of my daughter and then the birth of my son. She missed being able to support my sorry a** when I was struggling trying to put food on the table after my marriage crumbled. She missed my daughter growing up, taking dance lessons, making the only sixth grader in the whole school to get on the cheerleading squad. She missed my first book sale, my first booksigning, my first interview on the radio. She missed seeing her daughter find herself and know what she wanted and striving to get there.

But, you know, I really don't think she did miss all that because I feel that Mother was right there with me all along, cheering me on, giving me the strength I needed to find my place in the world. And, I've found it. At fifty-something years old, I have found it. All on my own.

So, while I mourned my mother's death, and still do, I thank her for giving me the chance to do it "my way." It has made me a stronger person inside and out and I feel that whatever life has in store for me here on out, I can handle it. I would have rather had my mother with me all along, while I was struggling, not knowing who to turn to for help, but since it just wasn't meant to be, I at least can say that because I did not have anyone to fall on, and had to do it my way, and learn from doing it my way, I'm a stronger person spiritually and mentally.

Happy Mother's Day, Mother, and may the angels and you have a heluva party to celebrate mothers everywhere.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

2 comments:

  1. Happy Mother's Day. This is my first one without Annie so it is a hard day in some ways. I am in Spokane with my brother & his family but will go back home tomorrow.

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  2. What a beautiful post!!! It has been a while since I have walked down my blogroll. So glad you are. ~Happy Mother's Day~

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