Sunday, April 30, 2006

California Dreamin'


As most of you know by now, I will be starting on a journey into my past in a few months in which I will be traveling 3,000 miles from Virginia to California, in an attempt to put old ghosts to sleep and find out why my spirit and soul is pushing me to do this. It will be a trip back in time, to a place where happiness infiltrated every part of my being; and, truthfully, the only place I can rightfully call home.

I haven’t been home for quite some time. In fact, when most people think of going back home, they think of family and friends who were and still are an important part of their lives. It is where they feel comfortable and at peace. It is the place where they discover things about themselves that they had forgotten or remember things that are important but had been buried because of time and, well, just because.

But, for me, there will be no family. No friends. Just a piece of my life that still lingers there that is calling for me to return to it.

I have felt this for years, but could do nothing. It sat harboring inside my soul and it was literally eating me up. I needed to go back home and finish something. But, what?

Didn't matter what. It was something I needed to do. By the end of my journey, I will find that out; but, meanwhile, I will be charting my progress. Boring you to tears with my thoughts and emotions as I begin a trip to my past and uncover those ghosts that have haunted me for years.

I will put the links in the right hand side bar for anyone who would like to go on this journey with me. Believe me, it's going to be something. I know it and I feel it.

It's really hard to put into words why I must do this. I mean, think about it, it's 3,000 miles away and money isn't exactly growing off of these pine trees in the back yard.

I was telling my good friend, M, the story of why I needed to go back and it must have struck a chord within her for she is responsible for making this happen. The only catch is, I have to write a book with her about this. No problem. Writing books is what I do best. Selling them might be another story, but for M's sake, let's just imagine that this is going to be a best seller.

This will be a true story. Nothing I write will be false.

This is the story of an inside yearning to do something that is so all-consuming that the only way it will let up is to just do it.

I am hoping that in writing this, I will uncover some hints as to why this has taken over my life and soul. So, this will be a healing tale, hopefully. By the end of my journey, I will find out the reason why it is so urgent for me to return.

Why this story is any different than anyone else's trip back home is that this is a story of a child who lived a fairytale life. She had everything she could ever want. Then, her life was ripped apart when her aunt whisked her and her five-year-old sister to a land that has tormented her for the last fifty years. While the grandmother she was forced to live with loved her dearly, the little girl sat on the front stoop day after day waiting for her mother to come back and get her. That day never arrived.

Her toys and games and all of her other childhood treasures were promised to return any day. That day didn't arrive either.

Not only that, she was shunned by the children of this new land because she didn't belong. She was from another place and the children of the land ruled. They were the ones who were living the fairytale life and the little girl retreated into a shell and never came out.

Years later, that little girl grew up and she never forgot what was rightfully hers, but in order to recapture her lost childhood, she knew that she needed to return to her homeland to make peace for herself. It is there that she will find out why it is that returning meant so much to her.

So begins the journey. In the next few posts, or however long it takes to explain why this is so important to me, I will begin to tell you about the little girl who had everything and then all of a sudden, it was gone.

As the trip gets closer, I will share my thoughts and feelings as they progress. And I will take you with me when I begin this trip and will share my thoughts during and after. So, buckle up, we're going on a road trip!

If you'd like to subscribe to this blog, there's a place to do that in the upper right. If not, I will put links in the right hand sidebar.

I'm excited to begin this journey so I shall start tomorrow with my humble beginnings. Hopefully, I won't bore you.

4 comments:

  1. Excellent, Dorothy! Perhaps your "Sisterhood" book was an outlet for your yearning to go on a journey yourself. And once you do, it'll break your writing career wide open.

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  2. Hi Dorothy, Thanks for visiting my blog. Catherine at Blog Togs did my header. There is a link to her on my blog. I am glad that you like it.

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  3. Kathy, you know, you mentioned something that really made an impact on me. The Sisterhood book WAS about three women traveling back to their roots...maybe this is a good sign!

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  4. Having been raised in foster homes and having no contact with my birth family fo many, many years, I can certainly relate to what you're doing.

    Finding yourself, through experiences and memories, can be both exciting and frightening at the same time.

    But if you never take a chance, if you never follow that desire, you will always wonder "what if ..."

    Good luck, and Godspeed, on your journey. I look forward to hearing your experiences.

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