The Bambi Effect No More

Okay, I used to love deer. In fact, a few months ago, I made this post about loving deer.

Well, as of about 5 p.m. last night, that viewpoint has come to a screeching halt.

I got off work and before I even go into my house, I commune with nature, namely my vegetable garden. It's sort of a rejuvenation thing, I think.

So, I'm walking around, inspecting the string beans to see if they've yielded their last bean (I think I have another week yet before they've finished yielding), checked the freshly-planted radishes to see if they're poking out of the ground yet (they were), checked on my tomatos (huge suckers, but still green) and checked on the lima beans to see if they'd grown any taller since yesterday when I checked (either it was my imagination or what, but by george, I think they had). I stirred up my compost heap and took the bag of discarded vegetable leaves and threw them beside the pile to add later and took a peek at my flower garden to see if the cut grass I put on them a day or two ago had helped them from being scorched by the sun. I shoveled up some dirt from under the trees off to the side of the house and put it in a container for my brocoli seeds I'm going to plant tomorrow and checked the rosebushes to see if the beetles had attacked it again.

About that time, my daughter had brought my dinner (a baked potato with brocoli) from Arby's and we sat out underneath the umbrella and bull-shitted for awhile, talking about our trip we're going to make to the Smokies the first of September.

BF came outside with Max, one of my cocker spaniels, and he pointed off to the field where a few deer were playing. "Isn't that cute," I remember remarking.

They were adorable. They were really far away so I couldn't see too much, especially without my glasses on, but it was really neat knowing I live in a place where wildlife roam around as they pleased. There is a pond where they were playing and BF said that they probably stick around there for the water.

Anyway, BF and Max went back inside and my daughter gathered up our trash and I went to check on the watermelon and cataloupe patch to see why in the heck they're taking so long to sprout melons. The flowers seemed to have stayed on there an incredible amount of time and we were getting impatient for the fruit.

As I turned around to head over to the oregano patch where some wild vine, don't know what it's called, was trying to strangle it to death, and something caught my eye in my corn plot.

Now, this corn is not just ordinary corn. It's Silver Queen corn and is a highly delectable dish on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, where I live.

Not only that, this is my first time growing it and I am so proud of it. They're beautiful and except for chasing away the beetles, I don't really have to do much to it but watch it grow.

Well, what caught my eye was that all the corn stalks in the middle and the back, which left just the front line, were lying on the ground. Talk about a hot flash. I ran inside the corn patch and wanted to cry. Something had crushed my corn stalks! Well, I was LIVID.

I'm frantically pulling them to an upright position only to have them topple back over. And then...I knew. FREAKING FREAKING DEER.

I don't know what in the heck they were looking for because there wasn't an ear of corn on the plants but they or it managed to destroy my corn patch. My beloved Silver Queen corn patch!

So, today, for the record, I hate deer. You can eat'em all you want, folks, because I'm not going to say a word.