Saturday, March 17, 2007

It's Not Nice to Fool the Boomer Chick


"Hey, Dorothy, it's for you."

It was a typical Saturday at work. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off and trying to please a million people all at the same time. I managed to stop for one little second and see who in the hell decided now was a good time to call me and complain about something. I grabbed the phone in one quick swipe and yelled, "Hello????"

"Hi, Dorothy, it's Wiley Zilfleman (name changed to protect the guilty). You remember me, don't you? You've waited on my wife and son and me."

Uh, no, I don't. "How can I help you?"

"Well, you see, my wife has just left me..."

Oh, great.

"...and I need to ask you if you'd lend me fifteen bucks until I get my paycheck cashed. I'll give you my license to hold for me and everything. I'd be right back with the"

"Uh. Hold on."

I put Mr. Wiley Whoeverinthehellhewas on hold and ran over to one of my co-workers. "Paul, can you believe this? Some guy I don't know who in the hell he is has just asked if he can borrow $15. Who in the hell does he think I am? A bank or something? And like I'd actually do it???"

Paul laughs and asks, "Wiley Zifleman?"

I stopped in my tracks. "You've heard of him?"

"Yeah, he asked me for fifteen dollars a month ago. Said something about his wife leaving him."

"You. Are. Shitting. Me."

I ran back to the phone and picked it up.

"Did you not borrow money from Paul for the same reason and never pay him back????" I yell into the receiver.

"Oh," he says, "I'm going to pay him back...."


I hung up on the bastard.

On the way home, I'm telling BF this same story, but before I can even get to the gory details, he says, "Oh. Wiley Zifleman. Crack head. He borrowed fifteen dollars from me a few months ago. His wife left him, you know."

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  1. Some people...

    What a lovely guy he must be. I bet he owes the whole towm fifteen dollars.


  2. LOL, I'm presuming this to be very true. ;o)


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