Rejections...Gotta Love'em...NOT

So much for loving Mondays.

This has been one bummer of a day. It's cloudy outside, I have the day off which is terrific, only BF walks in with a letter from an agent I queried. After they had asked me to send them the full, I waited for two months and because this agent is my dream agent, I didn't query anyone else.

And I hate being psychic because as soon as he handed me that letter, I knew.

I would have received a phone call if it had been an acceptance. I knew.

The cloud of despair was already forming around me and I stood there, almost out of body like in a trance, and opened the envelope slowly. I knew.

And there it was. Sorry, but we can't offer you representation.

I didn't tell BF. I just stood there. Then, I put the letter in a spare room I have and closed the door. I didn't want to even look at it.

I walked back out and sat down at the computer and with fifty-thousand things to do that were on the agenda today, I couldn't lift a finger.

And I haven't moved since. I know all about rejections. I know to get it out there and everywhere just in case one turns you down. I know to kiss it off to at least I tried, but this freaking hurts.

And I know better. I know how the publishing world works. And yet I fell right into that trap - of thinking that I have what she wanted.

Well, I didn't have what she wanted and I'm trying to get rid of this cloud that has enveloped my head...and it won't go away.

I do have a publisher and a good one, Zumaya Publications, but I just wanted that one chance, that one chance to get a traditional publisher that actually paid advances and all the perks they could give out because they have the money where small press doesn't.

Ah well...guess I have a house to clean...if I can just find the strength to get up.