Will That Be Non-Smoking?

A friend of mine from my online writing group asked the members if they had heard of a certain publisher as she was interested in sending a manuscript to them. As she had not heard anything about them, negative or otherwise, I thought I would help her out and go see what I could dig up.

I found their submission guidelines and the second paragraph goes like this...

Please be aware that **** ******* is a smoke-free environment. Manuscripts that arrive smelling like cigarette smoke may not receive the completely positive reception that they deserve.

O...kay. Well, this was a first. I've heard of restaurants and any public place in the entire county going by this rule, but publishers?

I mean, how can they tell you are a smoker? Is it actually all over everything, including paper? If when you stuff that paper in a box or whatever and send it off to a publisher and they open it, is smoke the first thing they smell or think of? Is this possible?

My aunt was an avid smoker. She would send me letters now and then and not once did I smell cigarette smoke. Now, if someone were to go outside, take a puff and come back in, sure you could smell it, but can someone actually smell it on paper?

When I was young and would send letters to my sweet-heart, I'd spray a bit of perfume on them and, yes, the recipient would smell it first thing when opening, but smoke?

I say this is ridiculous and it can't happen. What I ought to do is write a letter to myself, blow smoke on it and send it to myself to see if this is possible. I really don't think so.

So, anyway, this publisher thinks that this is going to deter smokers from sending anything to them? So what if the writer spritzes Fabreeze on the paper and the mailing envelope or box? Would that work?

As if we don't have enough to worry about...ack....wonder if Stephen King smokes. Would this publisher turn him away because his latest work reeks of smoke?

It's crazy...I'm telling you...it's just crazy....