Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Little Known Truths About the Over the Hill Generation

I have a little secret and you can’t tell anyone, especially the young’uns, because if word gets out, we of the Over the Hill Generation will never be able to get away with this. Oh, no, it’s nothing sinister, nor unlawful…just…devious.

I was talking to a friend today about old age. She said that she relies on her family to do things for her such as things that require getting down in the floor. Her beef was that once she got down there, she couldn’t get up, and she hated it. And, she hated it when she had to get others to do things for her and couldn’t do them herself.

Well, I’ve not gotten to that point yet, although I do feel a certain uncomforting feeling trying to hoist myself back up on any nearby piece of furniture with people staring. It’s something about my broadening backend hoisted up in the air that gives me the feeling that it’s nothing that should be observed by passersby.

So, it’s a matter of modesty, I think, and because of it, I have resolved to…

Not doing it.

Instead, I say, “I can’t do it,” and guess what…PEOPLE DO IT FOR YOU.

I didn’t know it was going to be this easy being over the hill. Sure, blame old age and you can get out of all kinds of things.

Don’t want to spend money on car payments? Say you’re too old to drive and have everyone cart you places!

Say you’re too old to work and, omg, you have agencies and people donating money to your checking account!

Have dogs and want to watch TV instead of walking them? Call up someone and tell them your legs aren’t working today, could they please come over and help?

Oh, there are millions of things you can do.

How about forgetting normal things like losing your glasses or forgetting to pay the utilities bill? Blame it on old age and people excuse you! They’ll search for your glasses for you and pay the bill before the electricity gets cut off!

It’s remarkable!

Want to sit out in your garden and read romance novels all day instead of clean? Tell everyone you were too tired and, bingo bango, they clean the house for you!

The truth of the matter is, we’re not too old, but when you get to a certain time of life, people automatically give you leeway. Take advantage of it!

The so-called twilight years can be the most wonderful years of your life once you learn that people have this misconceived notion that you can’t do anything for yourself anymore. Let them believe it, because now you’ll be able to do all those things you wanted to do but never had time.

And you want to know why old people always have more money than the younger generation? Because they are smart.

So, don’t you believe that over the hill people can’t do things or aren’t coherent. They are, but they just don’t want you to know it.

I think I’m going to love this over the hill thing.

6 comments:

  1. LOL! Great post. I figure if you get old enough to be called over the hill, you get old enough to pull a few fast ones once in a while.

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  2. I hate to think of myself as "over the hill" (or you either), but I DO have trouble getting up from a sitting position. I get stiff when I sit too long. Of course, thats not going to stop me from sitting too long!

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  3. Well, that sounds like an interesting idea but it also sounds like one is admiting to being old. I think the idea of getting older is good (it sure beats the alternative) but being old is a state of mind. I hope to never get to that state of mind.

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  4. Hmmm ... good point, Dick. And if I say I'm too old to do whatever, everybody around me reassures me that I'm not old at all. I can't even embrace my age - most people think I'm younger and think I'm being ridiculous. :)

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  5. Dorothy! I'm ashamed of you! Using your 'old age' to take advantage of others. LOL! I'll have to remember this when I get up there. Sounds like a definite perk of getting up there in years. (I hate the word 'old', I'll never be there..lol)

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