Saturday, April 28, 2007

HOME ALONE

Does anyone else besides me actually come up with blog posts while doing mundane things such as going to the bathroom?

Serious.

Actually the idea came earlier when for some odd reason, I realized being home alone isn't as much fun as it used to be when I wanted everyone gone so I could finally get some work done in complete silence.

Oh, sure, I have loads to do. I've got tours going out in three days with three authors depending in making sure everything runs right. I've got promo to do on The Search for the Million $$$ Ghost. I've got a radio show ebook that I've given myself a deadline of May 1 so I can go on, get it out there, and get it selling. I've got a relationship book that should have been at the publisher's as of...yesterday. I've got loads of work in my "to be done before I croak" pile.

But...you know...for some odd reason..it really hit me tonight...one day...one day in the not-so-far-off future...I might really be alone with NO ONE and it really freaked the living sheep doo right outta me.

How in the world does one live alone each and every day and stay sane?

You know, we don't think about this earlier in our life. I asked my daughter tonight after she got home from work, "Wouldn't you hate living alone?"

She looked up at me and said, "Nope."

She just doesn't realize how scary it would be, I suppose. I mean, what if something goes up and you are the only one who is supposed to fix it? What if the dogs bark because maybe someone's outside? What if it's snow on the ground and you need a necessity you forgot? What if the car breaks down and you have no one to fix it? What if? What if?

Doesn't that scare anyone?

And...I find...that the older I get, the more scarier it becomes.

Well, my daughter is home now. I fixed spaghetti and we sat out in the living room together, eating our meal, and talked about the idiotic guys in her life. But, you know, this time, I really really listened instead of staring at the computer screen.

One day, this will be gone, you know? And I don't think I'm going to like it one bit.

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4 comments:

  1. Worrying about being alone in later life is normal and not something our children can even fathom yet. The difficulties would be many.....plus the aloneness would almost be unbearable! Hugs

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  2. I know what you mean. My husband and I choose to move way out in nowhere 30 miles from nearest town no neighbors. But, now his health is failing and I know (not guess) I will be living here alone. Scared oh yeah going to do it yes. My mother lives alone and my grandmother lived alone for years so I can do it. Hugs to you from other thinking about tomorrow.
    karen a.

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  3. You know Dot, you can be "alone" even when you are with even large groups of people too.
    I'm grateful -very- that my daughter and son-in-law chose to live with me when I lost the job I had 5 years ago but prior to that, I lived alone from 1996 until 2002. My Mom lived alone for several years. Being alone I think is what you choose to make it too. It can be peaceful but yes, at times it is lonely. But it does give you a freedom too where you can come and go and do exactly as you please and not have to cater to other people and their wants, needs, quirks - and no one has to put up with your own ideas either. Think positive about it and if/when it happens, you'll be better prepared, mentally, for the change of pace.

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  4. I found myself in that position when Annie died and I didn't like it. Just having someone you know well and can have absolute trust in is very important to me. I did have other people around and they were a great help but that special thing just wasn't there.

    Now it is and it came as quite a surprise, as you know. I hope that same lightening will strike for you.

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