Monday, November 28, 2005

Barbie Faces Mid-Life Crisis

Well, honey, aren't we all? *grin*

In looking for dolls to resemble the characters in a book I've written, I came across a tidbit of information that you might find interesting or totally boring.

Barbie, the epitome of everyone's childhood, is facing a huge slump in sales. Seems there's too much competition because of something called a Bratz doll? I went searching for a Bratz doll and this is what they look like if you don't know either.



Oh, okay. I see the fascination. Hipper. Chicker.

Well, it seems the Bratz dolls are giving Barbie a run for their money and the bigwigs at Mattel are sweating their darling little heads off. They tried running some kind of storybook Barbies which went over well with the real young set, but bombed with the nine-year-old and up crowd.

But, let's look at the real picture. Barbie is getting on in years. It isn't but so many romps with Ken left in her and there's always going to be something new and improved which is going to make anything old seem, well, less than attractive.

WAIT A GOLDARN MINUTE HERE.

Do you hear what has come out of my mouth?

Does that mean that Barbie, the queen doll of all dolls, isn't worthy just because she's...er...OLD?

Okay, the bigwigs at Mattel need to come up with an idea and I just might have the answer.

Turn Barbie ELECTRONIC.

Make her dance on the little Barbie tables while singing the national anthem.

With a click of a switch under her foot, turn her into an iPod and it'll be on every child's Christmas wish list this year.

Instead of boobs, under her shirt she can have a mini boombox complete with stereo sound and Gameboy capabilities.

Twist her arm a certain way and out of her mouth, she can recite all the answers to any tests any teacher gives you.

Part her hair a certain way and mini strobe lights can dance on the ceiling and the colors representing whether there is any artificial intelligence in the room or anywhere in the galaxy.

Hit the remote that is cleverly disguised as sunglasses and you can instruct her to cook a full course meal, give the kids their bath and make love to your significant other while you catch up on all those television shows you never could watch because there just wasn't enough time.

Oh, the possibilities are endless!

My question is...why hasn't Mattel thought of that?

10 comments:

  1. Save Barbie!! I HATE those Bratz dolls--man, they say Barbie sold the wrong idea of being a woman. Those Bratz commercials are scary--there was a compain a while ago that showed provocatively dressed little girls (not dolls, but actual children) waiting to see which of several boys was going to ring the doorbell to be their "date." Frightening. I'm so glad my son is a son.

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  2. Omg...are you kidding me? Toy manufacturers are probably trying to keep up with the fact that little girls grow up way too fast and that these Bratz dolls represent this. I don't know of many 10-year-olds that are still playing with Barbies, you know?

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  3. LOL...electronic Barbie? I'm glad my teen is past the doll stage and my little ones are still into babydolls! UGH. Commericialism at its worst. And it's all they hype here at the holiday season. SIGH

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  4. you can just imagine how us guys who were raised with GI Joes feel.

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  5. Guys didn't have dolls. We had "action figures."

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  6. i used to love barbie when i was a kid, i've got two daughter and neither of them liked barbie. they liked other dolls, just not barbie, never asked them why though.
    maybe you should send your ideas to mattel, you never know!

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  7. I think Barbie will survive, especially if you would send your ideas!

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  8. My daughter is 7 and has completely abandoned her Barbies. All she wants for Christmas is Bratz. Ugh! Those things are so UGLY!

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  9. My old Barbies can kick those little Bratz arses any day! pooey.

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  10. Sort of off the subject... but didn't Ken get the boot a few years ago. I thought they replaced him with some australian dude. I can't remember the name.
    I'm with Cheryl....I am so grateful to have to sons. I can deal with "action figures."

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