Perils of Being a Know-It-All

You know, the trouble with writing a book, especially non-fiction and one you've poured all your waking minutes into, is that when people see you coming, they run.

It's not that you're having a bad hair day or you forgot to put on antiperspirant, but because they know when that when they see you coming, you're going to give and give and give what newfound knowledge on your intended subject you loooooove to give to the point where they just know they are going to have to stay in the same spot for god knows how long and listen to your blatherings of whatever your intended subject is.

Take today, for example.

As I have to work to pay for my "writing hobby," I am presented daily with all sorts of people who know me pretty well, namely, my co-workers. Now, my co-workers and I get along great. However, they are soooooo politically-soul mate-naive.

So, of course, whenever the timing is right and before they have the chance to get away (run for high heavens), I grab that available opportunity to give my undying wisdom on my intended subject. And I feel that by giving this undying wisdom on my intended subject that I know like the back of my hand, I can help (save the world and have a statue erected in my name) them.

Keep in mind that my co-workers (victims) are all in their early twenties and go through the normal girl/boy relationship problems so as I had just written the section about this age group, I thought that today I was going to give this wisdom to them and they could do with (ignore) it as they want.

Take Paul, for example. Paul is in his late twenties and divorced. He's pining for my daughter who knows he's not her soul mate and he's accepting that. Well, Paul was talking about bowling and how he's aiming for the major league. I almost ignored what he said, but then I walked over him and said, "Paul, do you know that you are in the perfect position for your soul mate to enter your life?"

Well, he laughs of course, and says, "But who is my soul mate?"

He probably regretted saying that because instead of letting him work, I had him cornered, telling him all about how there is no "the one" out there for you, that you have many soul mates and that because he has goals and is working towards those goals, he's in perfect prime for his soul mates to enter his life.

This went on and on, but I couldn't stop.

A couple minutes later, after Paul was shifting from one foot to the other impatiently, another co-worker happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Leon and Michelle had been having major problems. Leon had a lot of inner hostility to get a handle on and Michelle was getting tired of his behavior. I usually kept silent, but I was on a roll.

"Leon, do you know that Michelle is your soul mate?"

Well, after he died laughing and called her a word I can't mention here, I explained that she came into his life for childbearing and sometimes when the "mission has been accomplished" and only negative feelings are present, it may be time to move on.

Well, I think I got to him. I don't know if I got to Paul who had managed to escape and was on the other side of the room, but for once I think I saw Leon really evaluate the situation.

Next was Travis. Well, Travis was smart. He knew what had been going on and no sooner than I started to explain why you have to be in the right place, at the right time, he exclaimed, "Gotta pee!"

I turned back around and my audience had disappeared. I felt like the kid in HOME ALONE. "I made my co-workers disappear!"

I usually don't give advice unless asked. I just hate to be a know-it-all. But, then again, anyone in here need help in the soul mate area? Huh? Where'd everybody go? Oh, come on, you guys. This isn't funny. Help....