New addition to the flock

Is he adorable or what? Full bred Maltese - 3 years old - named Cody (but I call him Cooter)...

We've Moved - Sorta Kinda

I'm letting everyone know I have new digs...you can find me at Island Chick Travels now! I'll still be popping in now and then but if you're into travel like I am, be sure to check me out at my new home. Please update your link section or sign up for my email update alerts at the new blog.

Until next time,

Boomer Chick

this is my rant about snow and stupid people who don't care

Before I go off the deep end, watch this....



This was on I-64 going from Williamsburg to Richmond I think, but before I get on with my rant, I want to tell you about I-64. It. Is. Treacherous. Even in perfect driving conditions. People living over there might be used to it and I remember living in Newport News years and years ago, I did get somewhat used to it, but now? Fuggetaboutit. These people are maniacs. To hear my daughter talk about it, in order to keep up with the maniacs, you have to be one. So, driving 85 on a 55 mph highway is the norm.

However, on this day, people were going slower than normal. It was a blizzard out there. A freak blizzard that no one really knew was going to happen on top of the other snowstorms we've had on the east coast in the last two weeks. If I ever ever ever say I would love some snow, kick me, punch me, bury me.

So here's my rant.

My daughter works at a nursing home. But this nursing home is about 45 minutes away and in order to get to this nursing home, you have to travel through town, across the 5 mile causeway, then another 5 miles on 175 by NASA, then another 20 minutes to a half hour before you get to work.

Doesn't sound like all that - people commute all the time - but when you have a blizzard going on, is that safe to expect people to come in from that far?

I understand the need for people to be there. The residents have to be looked after; I understand that. But to tell someone you better get to work or you'll be fired? Not in those words but they're out there. So she calls out one time before and they basically tell her you have to get here. This time, it was the biggest snowfall I have seen in the area since I've been here. She's crying and all that to someone over their heads, then feels like she's lost her job because she didn't go in.

So, yesterday, she has cabin fever anyway and we're hearing snow is coming but all it really looks like is light snow with wind. Well, the wind ended up turning this light snow into an official blizzard. Only, she feels safe enough at the time to leave. About an hour or two after she's gone, the wind starts howling. Visibility on the causeway becomes nill. I'm calling her and she's saying she's going to do a hall pass, then leave, and I tell her no way in hell can she make it. I told her to make some other arrangements - find a hotel or something - because it's not safe.

I call her later and she tells me she's in Temperanceville going 20 mph.

I call her again and she doesn't answer.

Well, what do you think is going through my mind?

She ended up going slow and determined to make it home and she did, but....and this was the reason for the rant...take a look at that video up there. Do you think these people were out joy riding? No, they were on their way to jobs that required them to be there or they'd be fired. What kind of crock of bull is that? I know we all need our jobs but for god's sake, are we going to risk our lives to get there and for what? To be in accidents and god forbid you died and then what?

Just frosts my cookies.

Ellen Degeneres makes debut on American Idol

Did anyone catch the infamous Ellen on American Idol last night? It was a scream! She sat down beside Simon and said, "Well if this isn't something. I'm coming and you're leaving," and Simon broke out in the biggest grin.

But all in all, she did a fantastic job. I do miss Paula, but Ellen is kicking it!

I did see a few hopefuls last night and can't wait to watch it tonight. It was sad to see the little Tennessee girl go home - first time away from home and had her heart set on making it. Lots of tears as lots went home but they let a lot go through to Hollywood who I knew weren't going to make it.

But Hollywood Week was pretty good last night. Here are some highlights:




Can't wait for the show tonight!

It's No Business Like Snow Business

I've not written in a few days. Life is back to normal. I didn't attend the funeral for the strangest reasons but I really wanted to go. No one knows who got any of her possessions or at least BF isn't letting me in on it. C'est la vie. When the time is right, he'll tell me.

It snowed its arse off here a few days ago. There is still snow everywhere. My daughter got stuck in a 3 foot snowbank thinking it was straight road behind the condos where we live. Silly girl.

Of course, we didn't have a shovel. Who needs a shovel in a place that never gets snow? So, I took a garbage can lid and tried to use that as a shovel, used my boot to kick away some of it and also untilized a broom. It was slow going.

She called her father who came over and told her to do the old forwards backward thing and she got out.

The next day, I went out and made a snow heart with the words "I love snow" in the middle. Thought it was cute. Took pictures but of course I need help downloading them so it'll be awhile until I can get them up here.

I also hear it's going to be another snowfall coming this weekend. Now...I do "I love snow" but...you know how it is when you see your grandma for the first time after many many years then after awhile she gets downright annoying? That's how it is.

Secretly, I do love the white stuff. It was beautiful this go around. Powdery. Didn't make good snow for snowmen or snowballs, but it was really neat. Perfect for those 3 foot snowbanks and was higher in other places.

I took a walk on the dock the next day and the water was just breaking up. Looked like a million iceburgs floating in the water. Took pictures.

Well back to work, but I wanted to let everyone know Boomer Chick is doing just fine.

Thinking, pondering and grieving

It's been slow going for me. Tonight's the viewing. She asked to be cremated so this will be the last time the family can pay respects to her before well before they cremate her.

I've always wanted to be cremated for some odd reason. I hate graveyards, so that's probably the reason. I know once my body has perished, it doesn't matter but I want my ashes out there and not stuck in a box six feet under.

You tend to think of a lot of things you wouldn't normally think about at times like this. Like greed. It's funny there's always that one child in the family who despite the fact they were always loving and caring before turns into a monster at the end.

But I have a theory on that. It's always that one child in every family who's the greediest, but it's often that same child who is hurting the most.

One example is my ex's family. My mother-in-law raised a happy family. Some were (to me) shown a little more favoritism but I also have a theory about that, too. I think the ones who are shown more favoritism are the ones the parents feel are the neediest. But really they aren't. It's just the way it looks to the parents for one reason or the other. Or perhaps in a strange way, they want to give to this person in ways they couldn't give to the others.

When my mother-in-law died, it was that one child who claimed everything, despite the fact there was supposedly a will. Well, actually, the will was respected..it was the other things that weren't in the will. Possessions too numerous to mention or maybe in the will it didn't really specify who would get which and was just mentioned "to be distributed amongst the children."

When you leave it open ended like that, it's that child who is going to go for as much as he or she can. And what happens is that the once solid family structure falls apart. My ex has not spoken to his sister since then and it's been years.

I remember this sister telling my ex to go into the house and get what he wanted after their mother died. What they all didn't want, they were going to get rid of. So he goes and it doesn't pan out quite the way he thought. There were a few boxes in the middle of the living room with his name on it. Supposedly, the sister boxed things SHE felt he should get and took the rest. Everything you can imagine, she took.

But there was one box she overlooked. My daughter found it. It contained a jewelry box. The jewelry wasn't expensive at all and since my ex was about to walk out with basically nothing, my daughter grabbed the jewelry box. In this jewelry box was the ring his mother - her grandmother - had promised her after she died, so she basically felt it was meant to be.

The sister finds out about it and is livid and demands her to give the jewelry box back. "I just don't want to start trouble," my daughter says and agrees to give it back and I looked at her and said, "Are you crazy? She walks out with tons of things that are worth thousands and you and your father walk out with nothing and you're going to give it back?"

The sister ended up calling my daughter a thief, something she would never ever have done if not for the emotions surrounding your mother dying I'm sure.

My daughter ended up keeping the jewelry box but that was the last time anyone talked to the sister again.

As it turned out, the sister basically lost it or at least that's my assumption. She ended up having a fling with her mother's doctor (wait, that was just before she died), had a boob job and bought herself a high level condominium in the hubbub of the city. One of her own children wouldn't even speak to her and instead stayed behind with her dad while the other one when to live with her.

In my own situation, when my mother died, there was just my sister and I. I was the closest to my mother as my mother tended to leave us with my grandmother a lot and go live somewhere else (she hated the shore). So, my sister basically didn't see her as much as I did in my younger years - before the divorce which sent her a little beserk. It's hard to explain unless you're her but we lived with our grandmother for years in a little trailer and later my grandmother bought a house and moved it to her land so that we could have more room.

A year before my mother died, she finally woke up to her senses and rented a bungalow beside my grandmother. I was elated. I finally had my mother back.

I moved out of my grandmother's and into her house. Instead of sharing a bedroom with my sister, I now had my own room. I decorated with David Cassidy posters and listened to Partridge Family records. We had kids over (something I really never wanted to do at my grandmother's) and flirted with boys. It was at that point I finally found peace with my mother leaving earlier on and we became closer than ever.

It was at that time I also discovered boys. I dated a few dead beats in the sly but when I met my ex, it was as if I had finally found someone my mother would approve and so I ended my wild chick days and prepared my wedding.

My mother was happy I had found someone who came from a nice family with money. I think she felt I needed the stability and the security. But I also feel she was fighting her own demons - here she came back to be with her children and it might have been too late because the one she knew she could depend on was leaving her. Sort of like pay back time maybe but it wasn't intentional. I would never do that to my own kids and never did.

I got married hippie style (back then that was the thing to do) and moved in with my new husband. We lived in a small trailer in the middle of the woods and communed with nature.

I stayed in contact with my mother constantly. I loved my new married status but I wanted to let my mother know I wasn't leaving her in spirit. She and her new husband opened a cab business in town and I would work there in the mornings. The pay was shitty but I wanted to keep the family business thriving (for who I don't know as it wasn't certainly for me).

One morning, I was too sick to go in and I tried calling the house and there was no answer. I got in the car to go over and tell her I wasn't coming in and that's when I found her dead.

It's a long story. Supposedly at least this is my belief, the lights in town went out just before she died. There was lots of water in the bathroom floor so I'm thinking she freaked while taking a bath and maybe lost it who knows but she was found kneeling with her hands outstretched in the middle of her bedroom floor completely naked. Dead.

I walked into the house and her dog was in the living room which was odd. Usually he's right there in bed with her. I walked down the hall and her door was open and that's what I saw. I screamed and ran next door to my grandmother's house.

I watched her being rolled away on a stretcher with a blanket over her body. And that was the last I saw of my mother.

It's been a long time since then. I was only 19, so it's been a long long time but some things you just never forget no matter how much time goes by.

After she died, I felt really abandoned. It was my one chance to have my mother back, and she left me again. And it was permanent this time.

But anyway, I became the greedy child. I wanted everything she had because...it was my way of keeping my mother with me. She didn't have much so it wasn't things that were expensive, just things that were sentimental. And I wanted it all.

So you see...maybe the greedy child isn't a bad person, she just might be the one who was grieving the most. I could be wrong as there's lots of people out there with different personalities but it's something to think about, isn't it.

Sad Day

Today's a sad day for me. BF's mother died last night.

BF is a used-to-be-boyfriend but now we're just friends, but I was really close to her. She's given me her Maltese, Cody, so I'm sure you all will be hearing more about him.

BF's mother, Jill, had brain cancer only they just now found it. And that's what I don't understand. After all the hospitals she had been in and out of for other things, you mean no one picked up on it?

So it's a really sad day. I nursed BF through his father's passing, now I'm having to do the same with his mother's passing.

But what upsets me is Hospice. I wasn't there so I don't know exactly how much pain she was in these last few days but it wasn't but a few weeks ago when she didn't know she had it, she was the fine, or at least she didn't appear to be dying anyway. She wasn't complaining of headaches or anything but she was complaining about losing control of her hand (think that was the first sign or one of many undetected). And they all passed it off as maybe a stroke she had but didn't know she had. Maybe a stroke? Don't you think people know if they have strokes or not? Or do they?

Anyway, Hospice. After she got out of the hospital in Richmond about a week ago where they did a test to see how big the tumor in her brain was (very large and fatal as it turned out), she was sent home to live out the rest of her days. Doctors said she had maybe 4 weeks left.

BF said she was in a lot of pain so Hospice gave her morphine about 8 in the morning day before yesterday, but also doubled up on it. So she's been lying in bed since 8 in the morning 2 days ago. BF took a break to come over here while his two sisters watched over her. She never woke up.

At one point, she made strange breathing noises and the two sisters held hands and said, "Mom, if you want to go to Dad, you can go." Right after they said that, she took a deep breath (still not awake though) and died. Her mouth and eyes opened and that was the last they saw of their mother.

Even though she appeared to be asleep, she heard.

But this Hospice thing...my daughter is a nurse and she says when Hospice is called, it's near the end and they hurry things along sometimes and so giving a woman a double dose of Morphine...isn't that playing God?

Larry Pratt's a star on American Idol

Who watched American Idol last week?

American Idol is my most favoritest show of all time. Call me shallow but it is!

I watched the first show of the season last Tuesday and again Wednesday night and by far, Atlanta had the most talented. But it was the very very last contestant that floored everyone. It wasn't so much his singing voice, but well...you be the judge...

Sick doggie, squawking ducks and a moment taken from me

I've got another sick doggie on my hands. Skylar. She's a full-blooded Sheltie, maybe about five years old and fatter than a butterball. Two days ago, she threw up. And threw up. And threw up. There was a huge surprise for me in the kitchen which contained bits of cheese my daughter had given her earlier. I cleaned it up, then went in the living room and there were more surprises for me. Just spots but quite a few of them. We just figured she had some kind of tummy thing going on - that dog will eat anything left on the floor if you aren't careful, but that night, she wouldn't touch her dog food. Now, this dog eats. She eats hers and she eats the others if you're not careful.

We knew something was wrong so we kept a vigil on her. After what we went through with Max, my heart was sinking. I can't go through another sick dog.

The day after that, yesterday, she still wouldn't eat. Nothing. She was drinking however so that was good.

Both my daughter and I had to work last night so it was frantic city the whole time. She was texting me, "When are you getting out of there." And I was texting her hour by hour the status of my departure.

I finally got home and I wasn't sure what I'd find. I pulled up into the carport and there was no barking. Now Max and Cassie, Cassie especially, can't hear a darn thing - at least not something outside but Skylar can hear a pin drop. Usually when I pull up, there's barking. Skylar had alerted everyone, "Mommy's home! Mommy's home!"

So anyway, no barking. I get in and Max and Cassie are by the door so they obviously heard me which was quite a surprise. Usually Skylar is right there with them, too, but she was upstairs looking down at me with those pitiful eyes. I was just relieved she was still alive.

I texted my daughter she was fine to help relieve her worries and I tried to get her to eat but she would have nothing of it. When my daughter got home, she took her out, then put her in the bedroom with her.

I got up this morning and there she was in the same spot my daughter had put her. I picked her up and carried her out - no easy feat down 2 flights of stairs with an overweight dog on your hands but I did it.

We got outside and it perked her up a bit. She took a pee but it wasn't as much as she usually does but I knew she was drinking water but not that much.

I took her inside and that was about time my daughter got up. I fed her a piece of chicken and she ate it. I tried feeding her more but I'm not sure if she ate it or Max got it, but I know a bite or two went in her.

I fed Max his usual balogne sandwich breakfast and tried to feed her some but she wasn't buying it.

I opened the sliding glass doors and Skylar got up and walked outside on the deck. So she's almost there, but still not out of the forest yet.

But what I wanted to tell you is this. When I was walking Max (who incidentally is having a ball with his second chance of life), there was a flock of ducks flying overhead. I thought, how neat. They were low flying and just as loud as you can ever imagine.

And I was thinking that is the most beautiful sound on a crisp winter morning. All is quiet but these squawking ducks and I was thinking Max was thinking it was so neat, too.

And I was thinking how truly beautiful this island really is.

I get inside and a little while later hear gunshots. And gunshots. And gunshots.

I had a "moment" out there with Max, the death-defying dog, and these squawking ducks. The hunters have just taken that away.

That really really bothers me.

Baby Boomers: Four Popular Myths and One Great Truth by Kay Marshall Strom

I've got a special guest today! Kay Marshall Strom, author of the book, The Second-Half Adventure: Don't Just Retire - Use Your Time, Skills & Resources to Change the World is here with us today clear up some popular myths about baby boomers!

Baby Boomers: Four Popular Myths and One Great Truth

by Kay Marshall Strom

Yeah, yeah, I know. You’ve heard just about everything there is to hear regarding baby boomers, the generation that flooded America with 77 million babies between 1946 and 1964. You know all about Woodstock and flower children and peace marches.

Then again, maybe you haven’t heard everything. Some surprising facts lay hidden within those old boomer myths. Consider:

Myth: The “me” generation only cares about itself.

The “me generation”—now there’s a tag that’s stuck. Strange, too, since boomers are particularly united in their social awareness and concern for both their country and the world. In a 2008 report from the AARP, a full 70 percent say they feel a responsibility to make the world a better place. And that’s not just boomer talk, either. Their generation has a solid history of recognizing social needs in this country. (Look at the progress in civil rights.) Boomers have also shown that they care about the world. (Consider the effectiveness of the Peace Corps.) In ways sometimes wise and sometimes wild, baby boomers have shown they can walk their talk.
Myth: Boomers Are Technologically Inept.

It’s true that the world has changed more quickly and more drastically during the boomers’ lifetime than during any generation before them. When the oldest were born, almost no one had a home television. How can a generation with such prehistoric roots be expected to keep up with the lightning-speed development of technological gadgets?

Expected or not, that same AARP study reported that 82 percent of boomer respondents use the internet. And not just for casual email, either. Many do complex research, download movies and music, take full advantage of digital photography, and use a whole array of digital equipment. To the horror of their children and grandchildren, they’ve all but taken over Facebook!
Myth: Baby Boomers Are Rich, Rich, Rich…

Boomers are indeed the wealthiest generation in history, but they are hardly rich. In fact, one quarter have no savings at all. And most cannot count on retirement benefits to offer much help, either. Some boomers think they have more than they actually do—as many sadly discovered during last year’s financial free-fall.

Myth: Boomers Will Retire En Masse.

That huge generation will spend their days luxuriating on the golf course, this myth insists, supported by handouts from the government and a hefty chunk out of young workers’ paychecks. Don’t count on it! According to “The New Retirement Study” conducted by Merrill Lynch in 2007, a mere one boomer in ten plans to stop working at retirement age. Many are already working at second careers. Many others are helping out in a wide variety of capacities as volunteers, both in the US and abroad.

… And One Great Truth

More than ever, baby boomers are recognizing the truth that significance is found beyond themselves. The generation that determined to change the world is eager to get on with it—only now they come armed with experience and skills and maturity, and time and resources, too.

“If we boomers decide to use our retirement to change the world,” wrote Nicholas D. Kristof, Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times (July 2008), “our dodderdom will have consequences for society every bit as profound as our youth did.”

Kay Marshall Strom has written thirty-six published books, numerous magazine articles, and two screenplays. Four of her books have been chosen as book club selections, eleven have been translated into foreign languages, and one was optioned for a movie. Her writing is also included in numerous volumes and compilations, including the bestselling Conversations on Purpose for Women (Zondervan 2005) and various editions of the NIV Devotional Bibles. In addition to her writing, Kay taught writing classes through the California State University system for ten years, and still teaches at writers conferences around the country. In 2008, she was invited to India to teach writing in order to give a voice to those not normally heard. A sought-after speaker, Kay is in demand for retreats and special events throughout the US and around the world.

Kay and her husband Dan Kline make their home in the Pacific Northwest. You can visit her website at www.kaystrom.com.

Guest Blogger: Relationship Expert Barbora Knobova talks respect

I have a fantastic guest blogger today. Barbora Knobova has been touring with Pump Up Your Book going on three months now (and will return next month!) and I couldn't let her not stop by Boomer Chick to give us some undying relationship guest post love. This woman is dynamite. I will be reviewing her new book, Tales for Delicious Girls, on the 18th at Pump Up Your Book, but for now, welcome Barbora as she gives us her latest relationship advice on give and take. Welcome Barbora!

Relationship Advice: Give And Take
by Barbora Knobova

I have mentioned this in one of my previous posts but I can’t stress it enough. People don’t know how to flirt anymore. It seems to me that the art of subtle looks, graceful gestures and smart, charming comments and compliments has disappeared together with the generation of our fathers, if not grandfathers. What used to be funny, adorable and delightful is now crude, lame and awkward.

In an old French movie, the main character, a woman, explains what courtship means: “It is a series of man’s gallantries through which the man gains woman’s attention and favor.” It is very sweet, very true and very missing in today’s world.

However, it is not just the art of flirting that has been going south, but also the world of dating and relationships as such. Our lives are fast and hectic. We want everything now and we want it to be perfect. If our relationship isn’t spotless 24/7, we feel disillusioned and prefer to move on as fast as possible. How easy and how convenient.

I think one of the reasons is that we have become too judgmental and disrespectful of the opposite sex. We are a take-everything-give-nothing generation. We have a list of requirements that we expect to be met but we bring very little, if anything, to the table. We want, we need, we desire. We don’t give, we don’t offer, we don’t care. Most of us seem to have forgotten that first you have to give, only then you can take. You can’t receive unless you have given. If you offer a lot, you will receive a lot. If you offer very little and expect to receive the world, you will end up with nothing but disappointment.

Therefore, love yourself, respect yourself and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Expect only what you yourself can give. Do not settle for less but don’t expect a prince charming to come and save you from your misery if you’re not able to save yourself. Love yourself and you will be loved. And don’t forget to be a lady if you want to attract a gentleman.

Barbora Knobova is a writer, love coach and expert in Delicious Life. A world traveler, she is one of those rare world citizens who live everywhere and nowhere. Barbora is a firm believer in female friendship, loyalty and bonding. She writes hilarious, sharp-witted, caustically apt, ironic, moving, true books for strong, independent, smart, fearless women. Barbora has also written several self-improvement books and teaches women about the importance of self-love in relationships and life in general. Barbora speaks eight languages and has found her home away from home in New York, London and Milan. She is always on the move, accompanied by her beagle Brinkley, the nasty dog from her new book Tales for Delicious Girls. http://www.barboraknobova.com.

Mack is Back

Well that crazy maniacal dog almost died. I'm talking about Max. So much has happened but I really need to write all this stuff down or else I'll forget about it. It's even hard to remember now simply because maybe just maybe it's something I really want to forget.

As I said, he almost died. And I saved him. Well the vet saved him but I paid the $547 vet bill and without me doing that, well...I digress.

So Max has had this awful ear infection right. If it weren't for the quack doc who saw him the first go around with it, maybe he wouldn't have gotten so terrible, but I can't blame him really. The one's to blame is my idiotic daughter who let him splash around in the marsh - slash - channel water out front. It has every living species of anything that swims out there but anyway, that's when all this started.

So I've been told that that's when it started.

So he's had this ear infection and the new doc which really was the old doc when he was a pup but was too far to travel to so we went to this other new doc who didn't know what in the hell he was doing told us he had a choice - or we had the choice bless little Max's heart - but we had the choice to either put medicine in his ear every single day and night of his life or go across the bay and have his eardrums taken out which would make him permanently deaf. Duh let's see. Give me a moment, I'm contemplating.

We chose meds.

But it wasn't until we gave him a new set of pills to help with a humungous - and growing but we didn't know it at the time - lump on the side of his head. It's cancer one woman told us and another said it was an abscess. I've never had a dog have either but I most definitely didn't want cancer.

So I have to work and my daughter takes him to this doctor who happened to be not feeling well himself so he really didn't do a bangup job of diagnosing him.

"I think he has an abscess." (my daughter)

"I think you're right." (the doc)

I really think my daughter should have been a veterinarian.

So the doctor gives her these pills to give him and some new stuff to put in his ear and was told to start all this stuff the next day.

The next day arrives and the lump is now tripled in size. We give him the medicine and I'm at work when my daughter calls me and says, "Max is throwing up blood."

As the night progresses, Max is barely moving. I thought he was dying. As it turned out, he had 104 degree temperature.

So we take him to the doc in the morning first thing and he takes one look at Max and says, "That thing sure did grow, didn't it. I never noticed it that big before."

He tells me he's going to keep him overnight and to call the next day.

I call and he tells me I can pick him up.

So, I go to pick him up and Max looks like a punk rocker. Half his head is shaved and he's got this tube sticking out of the top of his head that runs down alongside his ear.

"He'll drip, so just keep wiping it off his fur and bring him back on Friday."

So I take him home and I'm really concerned because he's not eaten in 4 days. Lo and behold, though, I offered him some bread (his favorite) and he took it. I made him a sandwich and he ate the whole thing.

It's been a few days now and Max is doing great. The tube is still in his ear draining the abscess but I'm supposed to take him back on Monday to have it taken out. He's eating great, playing and acting his normal self before this ear infection took over.

But I want to say this. After I told someone how much it cost, he said, "I would have put the dog down." That makes me sad. Very sad that someone could say such a thing. I have my Mackiedoodle back and everytime I look at his shining eyes and wagging tail, I know I did the right thing.

I'll have pictures tomorrow.