The Mind-Boggling World of Simultaneous Submissions

I'm really nervous about this querying agents thing - not the actual query itself - but of the advice my well-meaning peers are giving me about the process. They're telling me I'm going about this all wrong.

When I told them that I had just one partial request from one agent and that was it, they jumped on me. "Dorothy, this is only in your best interests - query as many as you can, girl! Time is not on our side and what if this agent turns you down?"

Yowzers.

Okay, so no, time is not on my side, so I queried Agent #2. Both are in the big leagues.

So what do I do if agent number one and two wants the manuscript? Hopeful thinking, I know, but what IF that happens?

"And what if Agent #1 and #2 turns you down...don't you have an Agent #3 in mind?"

Egads.

Well, hell.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I know I'm new at this querying agent business, but my gut instincts were to just wait to hear from Agent #1 in the first place. I like her, like her agency and I just feel...eh...good vibes.

"Dorothy, good vibes don't mean a hill o' beans. This is for your protection. And I don't want to have to dry up your tears if she turns you down."

Who is that talking to me, anyway?

Oh...my subconscious, you say? Well, I'm going to tell you a thing or two, Ms. Subconcious High and Mighty. You might be right, but what Ms. Gut Instincts? Doesn't she have any clout here?

"Excuse me, Ms. Subconscious. This is Ms. Gut Instincts. You want to duke it out right here? Okay, since you provoked me. I've been living with Dorothy for quite some time. Most times she's in the right on things and other things that she isn't, I let her go because she's so damn defiant, but this one I have to side with her on. So, you can take your little Ms. Subconcious High and Mighty Self and fly it right out of here. You're going to turn Dorothy into a nervous wreck! It's bad enough she sees walls dancing around here, so back off, you hear me?"

"Whatever. But, I'll tell you something, too. Without me, she's nothing! Nothing, I tell you!"

Will everyone just shut up a minute? I have to live with both of you so we're going to come to a compromise. I've emailed one other agent so that should do it for you, Ms. Subconcious - for now anyway. And as for you, Ms. Gut Instinct, I've got my fingers crossed. *very big grin*