Happy New Year & A New Book Trailer!

To all my subscribers and readers, I'd like to wish every one of you the happiest new year! Although it's not officially 2007 for another couple of hours, let's take the time to reflect on what we have accomplished in the past year. Did we meet our goals? Did we try to be the best we can be?

I hope every one of you found your dreams; and if not, let's work even harder at finding what we are looking for and becoming who we want to be in the upcoming year. But, no matter what kind of resolutions you have lined up, the main key is to be happy.

With that in mind, I wish you a Happy New Year and may all your dreams come true!

Also, I'd like to show you a new video I made of my book, ROMANCING THE SOUL. Enjoy!

Check Out My Smoky Mountain Vacation Photo Video!

I'm going photo video nuts! I made another video that you might enjoy. These are pictures I took in the Smoky Mountains last September. It's beautiful...check it out!

http://www83.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?instanceid=48983863

Nurse Kratchet Photo Video Debut

Everyone knows that my daughter and my boyfriend really don't see eye to eye, putting it mildly.

To keep peace, they don't say anything to each other when I'm around, and basically, they act as if they are tolerating each other pretty well.

Truth be known, they do stuff to each other when I'm not looking...like hearing the other one pull up in the driveway and jumping in the shower real quick. Now, to clarify, it's a game they play--who can get in the shower first and use up all the hot water so the other one has none.

That's only one of many games they play which really irks me.

Well, I put together this little photo video of my daughter graduating from nursing school, right? She's known around here as Nurse Kratchet...well...truth be known...Nurse Kratchet has finally gotten the last one over BF...here's the photo video...

Christmas '06

Boomer Chick is exhausted. I wanted to tell everyone Merry Christmas before I go to bed.

Christmas was weird for me this year, and I'm trying to zero in on why, but it hasn't hit yet. BF said that it could be that I've not gotten much sleep the past few days. That on top of having a cold, and having to work and other things, I guess the Christmas spirit just didn't visit my house this year.

I'm trying to think back on what in the heck happened. Last year was great, but what was it about this year that was less than spectacular?

Well, I didn't have a car. Car has been sitting in the yard for a couple months now. Needs a starter, I think. So, getting out and about is next to impossible. I at first thought it wasn't so bad being as I don't get out and about except for working anyway. But, Christmas is a time to get out and what few times I did get it, it was rush, rush, rush.

I never took my son shopping. Anyone who reads this blog knows how much I love my son, and every year, we go on an annual shopping trip. My daughter goes along, we eat at Texas Road House, and have fun. I didn't get that this year.

Hmmm....

Money was a slight problem, too, since I haven't recooped from going to the mountains in September. Lesson learned...space things that involve money months apart.

But, I still don't feel like I'm zeroing in on this.

Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe it's just I'm tired.

My son ended up feeling better, and came over tonight to open presents. He looked tired. I guess I'd be tired, too, if I'd been throwing up all night. I think he liked the digital camera I got him. It was something he'd never owned before. I've never even seen him buy a disposable camera before, so this was a rather new thing to him, and I think he liked it.

I told my daughter he needed things normal people need in order to feel normal, so I think that was a good idea. Might give him a new hobby, who knows? When you're sitting in a trailer day in and day out, it has to be pretty boring. He says he's fine, but I don't think he realizes what he's doing to himself. He might have Marfans, but he's not dead.

My daughter felt like she didn't give me enough, and I wanted to shake her silly. She got me a black P-coat and a matching black Aigner purse to go with it. Other stuff, too, but I was happy with just that.

My son gave me a pair of slippers. I wanted to cry because I believe that is the first time he's ever given me a present for Christmas. They're really nice, too.

Well, looks like it's finally over and I can try to get back to my normal, over-worked state again. It surely beats the after-Christmas blues I'm having right now.

I've got so much to do, but it keeps me sane, believe it or not.

Hope you had a happy Christmas, and don't forget to give the kids an extra hug tonight. Family is the most important thing in the world.

It's Finally Christmas

It's 1 a.m., Christmas has arrived, and I'm sitting here kind of sad. Or, maybe it's just exhaustion.

We had a little get together tonight with dip, chips, cheese ball and crackers, and I made some sweet and sour meatballs. My daughter bought a bottle of wine and we watched "Surviving Christmas" on DVD.

But, something was really missing.

My son, who lives with his father, is really sick and couldn't be here tonight.

His father said he has been in bed, and getting up just to throw up.

My heart so cries for him.

When he was a little boy (he's 23 now), I nursed him through whatever ailment he had. I'd sit by his bed, rub his forehead, and help him get through it.

I think why it's really affecting me right now is I'm having a mental picture of this and want to go to him so bad. But, it's hard.

His father and I have been apart for about 15 years now, and I still feel uncomfortable around him. I think it might have to do with how much he hated me toward the end of our marriage, which carried over for years and years, and to this day, I'm not sure how or what he feels.

The reason for our separation is that he found someone else, so it's not like it was of my doing.

I guess love took another turn for him.

Reminded me of this old movie I was watching tonight, "When Harry Met Sallie," and Sallie is sitting on her bed crying because her ex announced he was getting married. She's sobbing all over Harry, who is sitting there looking real sympathetic, and truly listening to her, and he turns to her and says, "If you could, would you go back with him?"

Immediately, Sally replies, "No!" and then says, "I thought she was supposed to be a transitional, not THE ONE! What's wrong with ME?"

Been there, Sallie.

Ahhh...holidays makes you wistful.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this. I should be in bed anyway.

My daughter and I were coming back from shopping today, and I have no idea why I even brought it up, but I told her that when I married her father, I knew it would last forever. And then, I said, "I'll never marry again. I would never go back with him, but he's your father and I still care about him, no matter what, and I think that's why I have resolved to never marrying again."

She didn't say anything...she didn't have to.

She and her brother would love it if we got back together, but they know, and I've said it a million times, I just can't because it would bring up all those bad times and I've gone beyond that. The years following his departure is what I call my "black period" which took ten years to heal. No, no, I'm above all that. I'm happy now...happy, you hear me?

Silly stuff I'm thinking about this early Christmas morning, but I so miss my son. He's sick and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

It's quiet in the house now. My daughter has gone on to bed after wishing me a Merry Christmas. BF has gone to bed, too. No one up but me and my thoughts and they're driving me crazy. Haven't slept much the last few nights with preparing for Christmas, but I'm glad it's almost over.

I think I just need to go to bed. Night, everyone, and may your Christmas be filled with joy and laughter. They once were for me. A long, long time ago.

Dear Fat Man in Red Suit

I don't find this in the least amusing.

Last night, Max, the Demon Dog, peed on my nutcracker sitting in front of the Christmas tree last night. Not only that, he tried denying it.

I knew it was him because Cassie, my female cocker, and Skylar, my shelter who is also a girl, are perfect little fur babies, and Max, well, Max is Max, and there's no changing him.

But, what I found less amusing was something he had obviously written on MY computer while I was asleep....

Dear Fat Man in Red Suit:

I'm beginning to feel a little suspicious.

There was a time in my past, in fact, quite a few times, when I saw this same dang tree in the corner of the living room. It's not hard to miss because those dang lights blind you everytime you come in here. And there are wrapped boxes underneath.

Now, why I'm suspicious is because the last few times I've seen the same scenario, I am always surprised that some of them are meant for me. I'm surprised because one day they're not there and the next day, they are. Well, that's the way it's been anyway.

Now, on the few times there were boxes for me, they were cool as all get out to unwrap because not only was I having a kickin' time opening them, but another cool as all get out new stuffed squeeky toy was inside. Wait...I think one was a set of balls, but most of them were these squeeky toys.

Now, everyone knows how much I live for these things. Dad buys them for me once in awhile, and then it's like a challenge to see if I can get the squeek outta them.

Dog, is it fun.

But, this year, I see boxes and boxes, but none are shaped like squeeky things. Or balls.

And this has me suspicious.

And then I go and read this dang Christmas story about how you better be good, better be nice, or Santa Claus won't come, or some stupid stuff these humans call entertainment, but it has me to thinking.

I peed on Mom's stupid nutcracker last night.

Listen, dude, it was standing in front of this stupid tree which everyone knows is a target for a urinary pit stop, and since the stupid nutcracker was in the way, I peed on it. I figured I was okay because how could they tell it was mine, you know? I have 2 sisters; heck, they could have done it. Dig?

But, this morning, all h e double l broke out. How did she know it was me????

So, I'm wondering something.

It's four days before that fat man in the red suit comes and I sure as heck don't want to screw things up, so I'm sending this letter out over the Internet in the hopes he's on here, and I can be redeemed. And it goes...

Dear Fat Man in Red Suit:

I know you're only human (sorry about that misfortune), but I need to clarify a few things.

You gotta give a dog a break sometimes.

When you are used to emptying your bladder on God's things he put outside, and then someone brings that thing inside, how are you to know it can't be used? Shouldn't there be a "NO WETTING" sign hanging around or something? I really don't think this is my fault.

Another thing that really gets my fur all ruffled is why can't the humans take us poor misfortunate pooches out to do their business BEFORE they go to bed? Do they think that just because we're DOGS we can hold it longer than they can?

I think I have a solution if you want to hear, Fat Man in Red Suit....

What I think you need to do is take pity on those with four paws and send them lots of squeeky toys in the place of those foolish things like slippers that massage your feet. Come on now...these humans wouldn't know work if you hit'em in the head with it, so those feet don't need massaging.

And leave balls instead of those stupid DVD movies you like to place in their stocking. Do you realize you are contributing to obesity? All these people do, if they're not sitting around on the computer watching their back sides spread, they're lounging out on the sofa stuffing themselves with junk food, and watching movies.

Oh, one more thing. Please, they do not need anything to read. All those books you bring don't get read because they are having too much fun doing other fat-inducing things like torturing the kids by not letting them play with their own Christmas video games as they sit there for hours in front of the TV.

I'm hoping this letter will make you realize a few things, and that's that dogs have feelings, too.

So, while the humans are torturing us with putting tape all over our mouths and thinking it's funny, or taking my floppy ears and pulling it up with a scrunchie thing and making me look like a girl, I hope you see who is being good and who is being nice.

I hope this letter gets to you, Fat Man in Red Suit. I know you sure as heck wouldn't want me to slip a telepathic message to Rudolf and your crew of happy sleigh-pullers and tell them what you've been doing all these years to one of their almost kind.

Oh, Fat Man in Red Suit...be easy on Vixen. The last I heard she was going to enlist you in some kind of Jenny Craig program.

Sincerely,

Max

Online Promotion Class?

Someone in one of my writing groups approached me today and asked me if I would help her promote her book online. For PAY.

You mean all this time my valuable wisdom is worth greenbacks?

I thought about this for a whole millisecond before I concluded hell yeah, I'd love to do it.

So, all today I've been giving it some thought.

But, what I'm really seriously thinking (and still in the thinking stage) of is starting my own online promotion class. I'll be teaching a class how to promote self-published ebooks over at Earthly Charms (www.earthlycharms.com) in July, but this one will be a little different.

Actually, what I was thinking was more in the line of helping any kind of author promote their books online. I had one NY published author tell me that her publisher is stepping up on online promotion. Wonder why...hmmm...that there's money in them thar hills?

You bet it's money there.

So, this is what I'm thinking. A four-week class at $12.99 a head. And no more than 30 heads.

What I would like to do is implement the points discussed in my ebook, "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook." What I could do is get everyone to tell me what promotion they have done so far. This way, I'll know what I need to work on to help them.

Sounds right neat. I'm thinking of doing this four times a year, starting with the end of January and do another one in the spring, another one in the summer, and another one in the fall. Keep the classes coming.

So, what do you think? $12.99 sound reasonable?

An Awesome Christmas Shopping Trip

I had the most WONDERFUL day today. My daughter and I took off to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. I'm not sure if I have completely lost my mind, but I really enjoyed myself. It wasn't too bad as far as traffic and shopping lines, but it really didn't matter, and I think the reason why I had such an enjoyable day is that I had everything planned--where I was going to go and what I was going to buy. I think when you do that, as long as nothing screws it up, you'll be able to get through this buying season unscathed.

We stopped off at the Old Navy Store and I found 2 pairs of pants and 2 long-sleeve t-shirts for my son, and a pair of boots for my daughter. The pants were $10 apiece, and the long-sleeve t-shirts were $5 apiece. Couldn't be beat! The boots were $35, which I hadn't planned on but she wanted them and I figured that could be an extra present under the tree for her.

The next stop was Rugged Warehouse. Now if you haven't ever been to one, it's a thrifty shoppers' paradise. Picked up a sweatshirt for my son to wear to bed ($4.99) and another one to wear to bed ($3.99). Man, I was doing great.

We head over to the mall and my daughter sees a calendar she likes, so I pick that up for her, and one for my son.

Then...omg...this was the topping on the cake...

I went in a new store in the mall called Hollister. If you don't have one in your area, please get to one somewhere near because you will absolutely fall in love with it. I think the reason why I loved it was because of its California theme. I love California!

Omg...this store was like walking into another world. When I came out, I told my daughter, "Well, back to reality."

It was awesome...dimly lit, blaring music, and t-shirts, long-sleeve shirts, hoodies, you name it with different California emblems. It's a mite expensive, not too bad, but omg I am going back for myself after the holidays.

I got my daughter a long-sleeve top ($24.99) and my son a hoodie ($39.99). Really, it could have been more expensive and I don't mind putting money into something that is really going to make great presents. I'm going back before Christmas.

But, let me tell you, they have this projection TV cam that shows Huntington Beach at the same time you are there and what degrees it is. It was 64 degrees at about 4 p.m, and you could see people walking around the beach and everything. I was just in awe.

When we went to pay, I couldn't hold back and you know how much I embarrass my daughter, and I said, "You guys must love working here. I use to live near Huntington Beach, and you know, this so much feels like going back home."

The clerks took it real well, and instead of rolling their eyes, they actually thought it was neat I lived there.

My daughter gave me a look like let's hurry up and get out of here, but I didn't want to leave. It was like being home again!

Speaking of which, I've decided our California trip will be the first week of September. We're going to rent a van and drive from Virginia all the way out there. You haven't lived until you've traveled across country with your family, no sirree! My daughter, when she first heard that's what we were doing, was vehemently against it, but I think I talked her into it once I promised her a trip to Laguna Bay. We'll fly back, but the trip across country ought to be awesome.

I absolutely cannot wait, and before I go I'm going to go back to Hollister's and buy me some t-shirts for the trip.

So, I'm back home and I've got all this Christmas tree to put together so I better get cracking.

An awesome day!

Tags: Hollister, christmas shopping, christmas shopping trip, Old Navy, Rugged Warehouse, California, Laguna Bay

Max, the Cocker Spaniel Demon Dog, Has a Webpage!

I know I've not kept up with blogging, but for the last few days I've been deep in a book I've been writing that's the most unusual I've ever written. Nothing like I've ever done before. Can't really say just yet what it's all about but a children's story I had written long ago and one of my fur babies gave me the idea (no, it's not a children's book either...stop guessing!).

The fur baby in question is one of my Cocker Spaniels, Max. And this is the reason for my blog post tonight. Not only does he have a webpage (http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=429588), but I also would like some input on something.

I have two pictures of Max that I want to enter in online doggie contests, and I'd love to see which one of the two you think brings the beast out of Max.

If I can get them to load, they're at the right. Which one of the two do you think I should use, as I can only use one?

BTW, rat problem hopefully is solved. BF put poison underneath the cabinets and under the house. About freaking time!

And I found the ladder to get up in the attic so that I can get the Christmas stuff down tomorrow. Maybe things are finally coming together!

Murder She Didn't Write

I wasn't sure I wanted to blog about this today. It's grisly. And sick.

There was a murder at my house last night.

I was in my daughter's room, watching Dolly Parton in the classic, "Christmas in the Smokies," and was singing and dancing along, driving her dog, Skylar, in fits. She hates it when you act like you're having fun and she'll start barking and biting at your ankles which only adds to the excitement.

I went out to get a smoke, and BF tells me he hears the mousetrap go off.

I go to investigate.

I walk upon the site where I had set the trap (I couldn't stand the constant pitter-patter of little feet running through my kitchen every night, completely distracting me from creating my masterpieces), and I froze.

The trap was behind the stove. It was overturned. And beside it, not in the trap, was a baby freaking rat.

I'm not talking those cute little mousey-things, I'm talking a real live freaking rat the size of a 3-month-old kitten.

Now this is the part that gets grisly. If you are squeemish, or have them as pets (god forbid), don't read on, but instead, go watch Dolly Parton's Christmas in the Smokies. Laugh. Sing. Dance. And pretend you never happened upon my blog.

Anyway, the rat is not dead, but stunned, and isn't moving. He/she/it is not scared of me. In fact, it looks dead, but I know it's not.

I scream for BF, who is quite annoyed at me bothering him. In his words, "This had better be worth it. I'm watching poker."

I ignore his remark, and keep screaming his name.

He comes. I point. And I say, "It's a freaking rat!"

I'm like in shock, and the first thing I do is grab some bug spray nearby and start spraying. I'm not sure at this point what was going on in my head to do that, but I did it.

BF looks incredulously at me and says, "You can't kill it with that. Hand me a knife."

Okay, back up, I love animals, no matter what kind they are. Yes, I have mousetraps, but you try wiping your counter and find mouse turds..you'll change your mind in a hurry. And you try having all your silverware sitting in a container on a table because they're in your silverware drawer. And you try sitting on the toilet, doing your business, and one runs over your feet.

And you try sitting on the computer every single night, exactly the time when everyone else is asleep, and the house is quiet except for the hum of the heater, and you hear them running all over the place. The dogs go crazy, everyone wakes up...it's not a peaceful down home feeling.

So, anyway, I do have mousetraps. But, it's quick. I'm not sure about painless, but it's quick enough that they don't let out shrieks of "Save me! I'm dyyyyyyying...."

So, keep in mind that I really do love all creatures, no matter how ugly.

So, BF tells me to give him a knife. I start getting upset. He says, "Well, you want it killed, don't you?"

I'm delirious at this point.

I hand him the knife, and run to my daughter's bedroom, and bawl. But, before I get there, I hear the blow. And the shrieks.

I fly into the room, slam the door, and bawl. My daughter wants to know what's going on. I can't talk. I can't do anything but stand there, bawling, and mumbling incoherently. I have lost it.

I finally tell her that BF is in the kitchen stabbing a rat.

She is mortified. I am crying. The dogs I've grabbed and put in the room with us are barking like something's going on and they want to be a part of it.

I open the door. I am reaaaaal spastic at that point, and I hear the stabbing. Over and over and over. It's like how much body does a small rat have anyway????

And then it's over. But, I don't know it. My daughter has run out of the house to a friend's house, and I'm sitting on the bed, rocking and crying. BF walks in.

"I got him."

I can't look at him. He's a murderer.

"You wanted me to get him, didn't you?"

I don't speak.

I rock back and forth.

He can't understand why I'm reacting like this.

I can't understand why he had to use a knife to do it.

I can't talk.

"You all right?"

Still rocking.

BF gets up and goes back to his poker show.

"Is there any blood?"

"No, I cleaned it up," he yells.

A brutal massacre. In my kitchen.

I haven't been the same since.

I'm trying to write.

I'm trying to snap out of it.

I can't.

Authors Chat Lounge 2 Tonight! - Correction # 2

Okay. I give up. The right url is:

http://museonlineconference.tripod.com/id13.html

Jeez Louise Sam. They don't call me an over the hill boomer chick for nothing.

Authors Chat Lounge 2 Tonight! - Correction

Sorry, gang, had the url wrong. If you'd like to come to the chat tonight where I'll be discussing ways to make money online by publishing your own eBooks, click here. So sorry!

'Tis the Season

I just went on the first of many Christmas shopping trips of the season, and it was actually fun! Ask me in a couple more weeks when I go back out, and I'm sure I won't have the same answer.

I just finished reading Linda Rucker's blog where she had the shopping trip from hell, but I have to admit, today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Stopped in Shoe Show and got my son a pair of Sketchers...not bad at $39. I remember the day when I was whopping out more than a hundred bucks on sneakers for the kids. Thank God, they're grown, and really don't care about status anymore.

Then, it was off to Wally World.

Now, I really hate Wally World, but I think it was because I hadn't been in awhile, and the crowd wasn't too bad, I actually had fun.

I stopped off at the Christmas section, and turned on all the musical toys, even had one of them marching along the floor. Adorable! I saw an old friend, Victor, who was watching me having so much fun, and he proceeded to tell me he had bought a $4000 TV for his kid. Now who in the right mind would do that? He's always spoiled the kid, so that was so like Victor.

The highlight of this trip, though, was when I was in the frozen foods department, and a woman tapped me on my shoulder. "Dotti? Is that you, Dotti?"

I turned around and omg it was the most wonderful woman in the world. Her name is Louzetta Kellam, and she's my sister's mother-in-law, but when they made her, they broke the mold. I always envied my sister in that she had the best mother-in-law in the world.

So, we hugged (I wouldn't let her go), and remininced about old times.

See, I haven't seen my sister since the funeral of my Aunt Sissy, and we have had words in the past, and it's so hard anymore. I don't know what it is exactly, water under the bridge I suppose, but it's like once my mother died thirty years ago, things were never the same between us. She had her life, and I had mine.

So, of course, I asked her about my sister and she told me to visit over Christmas, of which I said I would (dunno), and then she brought out a picture of my sister's daughter's little girl who is three now. She is beautiful. Looks like Stacy (my sister's daughter), and even looks like my sister with that red curly hair.

She asked me how I was doing, and I told her about my books and what I'm doing online, and her face lights up. I said, "You have a computer?" I mean, this woman has to be in her seventies, and not too many older people have computers around here, and she goes, "Of course I have a computer! I'm always on it!"

Well, I'll be damn. So she takes out a piece of paper and gets me to write my website down.

So I tell her then about my trip to California in the spring and how the LA Times wants to do an interview with me, and it damn near floored her. I loved it.

But, it did make me really want to see my sister again. Perhaps I'll swallow my pride and do just that.

Christmas shopping can be more than stress. Who knows who you might run into that will really make your day.

Authors Chat Lounge 2 Tonight!

Hi guys, just want to let you know that I'll be a guest at Lea Schizas' online conference chat room at the Authors Chat Lounge 2 tonight at 7 p.m. eastern time. Come on out and find out all about my new eBook, "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook," and how you, too, can write, publish and promote your own eBook. To get into the chatroom, click here and sign in!

Season's Greetings from The Writersville Gang is # 1!!!

I have some super fantastic news! My writing group's free Christmas eBook, "Season's Greetings from The Writersville Gang" hit #1 in Google in ONE day, beating our previous record of six days for one of our free ebooks!

Why is this so great?

Because it was an experiment I've been doing to see if I can take ANYTHING and get it to show up in the #1 spot in the search engines, and IT WORKS.

This is really the most fantastic finding because I have figured out a way to get any book, or whatever, to appear first in the search engines using certain key search words!

And, not only can I get that number one spot, I can do it in ONE DAY!

This only goes to prove that you DON'T have to pay to have search engine placement, and by using a formula I have devised, which is outlined in my eBook "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook," it means that ANYONE can do this, once you learn how to do it.

This is incredible, and a milestone in ebook (or any book) promotion!

It's really simple, although it requires a little work on your part. Can't give the secret away, but you CAN buy my ebook...hint...hint.

This is just incredible. It works. It freaking works.

Oh, if you don't believe me, our eBook was released yesterday, December 1, 2006. If you go here (and today is December 2, 2006), you'll see it right in front of your eyes.

I am dancing on the clouds because this is a major breakthrough. Not only do you not have to submit your website to the search engines, and just sit back and wait for them to find you, but it only proves that it IS quicker letting them find you. But, you have to know what steps to take.

Incidentally, if you've not picked up your e-copy of "Season's Greetings from The Writersville Gang," do it today! It's absolutely free!

FREE CHRISTMAS EBOOK

Hi everyone,

On behalf of my writing group and myself, I am pleased to announce the release of our holiday ebook, "Season's Greetings from The Writersville Gang"! This 70-page downloadable ebook is absolutely free with no strings attached. This is our way of showing gratitude to the writing community. To get your free e-copy, visit http://www.writersville.homestead.com/seasonsgreetings.html.

Happy holidays to all of you!

A Great Way to Get Some Free Publicity That Works!

I just have to blog this. It's a funny story, so bear with me....

Last September, as you know, the kids and I went to the Smoky Mountains for a few glorious days of rest, relaxation, and fun.

Well, I wrote an article, a really great travel piece, and submitted it to my local paper, The Eastern Shore News.

I had been watching every Wednesday when the paper comes out for my article, but I had yet to see it, and I really kind of forgot about it, figuring they weren't ready to print it.

Last Friday, I was sitting down at work, chomping down on my wings and salad, and decided to read the newspaper. It was a free paper called The Eastern Shore Neighbor and is distributed by the same paper I sent my article to. Well, it was in there.

I thought it was really neat, and told the people at work who were there, grabbed a few dozen papers, and went home. And forgot to tell my daughter, or anyone else about it. I mean, it's really no big deal. Little did I know, it was to become a really big deal.

The next day when I went into work (I'm a server), I was waiting on a table of four, and the woman said something that sounded like "Am I in the smoking section?" I really didn't hear her all that well, but I didn't want to look like I hadn't heard her, so I just nodded. Then, I looked down on the table, and there was the paper. "Oh!" I said, "the article!"

I thought it was really neat that someone had noticed it, and recognized me from the picture of me and the kids that I sent in to go with the article.

Well, the next night, my daughter and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie that had me in absolute stitches. I was dying, and you could have probably heard me laughing all the way down the block. And, then, I hear my daughter screaming, "MOM!"

I thought she was calling me down for laughing so loud, so I turn to her, and she's got the newspaper with my article (with the picture) open, and sitting in her lap.

"WHEN DID YOU DO THIS???"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you! Isn't that neat?"

"But, MOM," she cries, “it's a TERRIBLE picture of me and you've got it plastered all over the country!" Well, it's a local paper, and I daresay it's plastered anywhere outside of the Eastern Shore, but try telling her that.

Anyway, it's a nice family picture.

The next day, my daughter gets off the phone, and stomps into the living room.

"IT'S ON THE BULLETIN BOARD AT WORK!"

At this point, I have peed my pants from laughing so hard.

It’s not every day a mother gets to humiliate her daughter and I was taking full advantage of it. Like I said, it’s a nice family picture. We were tourists, and looked, um, touristy.

So, today, I get off work and go to a little specialty store near me to pick up a couple of Christmas gifts for two of my co-workers, and no sooner had I placed the gifts on the counter, the two girls behind it whom I’ve never seen in my life said, “You really like the Smokies, don’t you?”

Well, I was all hyped up from work and a full carafe of coffee, so I was gushing all over the place. Then, the manager, who I have never talked to in my life said, “You really liked the Smokies, didn’t you?” LOL…seems this is the question of the day. So, he’s telling me all about this nice little catfish restaurant there, and telling me he’s going to check out my website. Cool deal.

I get home, and my daughter is in the kitchen and I’m telling her about what happened at the specialty store, and she looks at me with that dead-pan face, and says, “I went into Susan’s Seafood today and the woman that owned it said, ‘Your mom sure does like the Smokies, doesn’t she?’”

Well, I’m bursting out in hysterics. This article is getting some pretty good publicity!

Then, my daughter turns to me and says, “You can write books, you can tell people how to write books, you can have websites, you can have ebooks, you can tell people how to find their soul mates, and even get into the OK! Magazine, but you know what you’re going to be famous for? That damn Smoky Mountain article!”

She had a point there. I don’t care. Whatever works. But, it sure is neat. I’ve written articles for the paper before, but never put my picture (or my kids’ pictures) in it, but you know what? From now on, I’m going to start!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 13 - Mary Emma's Potpourri of Writing

It's stop #13 at my dear friend, Mary Emma Allen's blog, "Mary Emma's Potpourri of Writing"! Wonderful interview in which she asks me just how I got started writing eBooks, and how receptive people are to to reading a paperless book. See you there!

Don't Let Your Little Ones Grow Up

If you want to bawl your eyes out, watch some home movies of the kids when they were little. Be prepared...stock up on some hankies!

My daughter and I are alone, and she asked me if I wanted to watch a home movie when my son turned eight. I don't know if I've talked about him much, but he worries me. I love him with all my heart, and this is the reason I guess this home movie affected me the way it did.

You see, my son is 23. I had to take him out of high school in his last semester before graduating because of a scuffle with his principal. He and I just didn't see eye to eye on a particular matter regarding my son's curriculum, and I got mad and withdrew him.

Of course, my son was elated. No more school.

But, you see, there was more to it than that.

My son has a mild case of Marfans. In case you don't know what it is, it's a tissue-deteriorating disease. It has no cure.

I didn't even know he had it at the time. All I know is that he kept flunking gym. He just couldn't keep up, and I don't know what happened, but he just couldn't pass it. But, because of that, he couldn't take a computer class that was very important to him. It was so important that once he got out of high school, he could take a test and become certified enough to work at NASA. A lot was riding on it.

Well, I found out he flunked gym, which meant he couldn't take the computer class, and I just about flipped. Well, I did flip. I withdrew him, and told him that he's not going back and was going to take his GED and go to college and become someone.

Well, it's been five years. The child--er...young man--sits at his father's house with no ambition, nor strength, to even go outside. He never went back to school, never got his GED, and never became who he wanted to be.

The doctors were no help. He was sent to King's Daughters, a children's hospital, in Norfolk, but the best they could do was diagnose that it was Marfans. "There is no cure," they said.

And that was that.

Today, he tires easily. His back hurts him all the time. He has dark circles under his eyes. He doesn't want to make a life for himself and I'm not really sure why.

I ask him all the time what's the matter, and he tells me nothing. He doesn't talk about it.

Yes, it bothers me. At his age, I had been married for four years. I know times have changed, but it really bothers me and I'm to the point where I don't know what to do.

I have tried to get him to go back to school, and he refuses. I have told him I would take him to the DMV to get his license, and he's scared to drive. He's scared of life if you ask me.

I can remember that night when he pulled up his shirt and said, "Mom, you need to look at something."

On his back, it looked like he had been whipped about 20 times. All across his back were these raised red lines. Immediately, I took him to the hospital. They told me to take him to the family doctor, which I did the next day. They were baffled. They didn't even know what it was.

It took one kind doctor who thought he might have Marfans. That's when he told us to take him to King's Daughters to find out for sure.

And, yes, he had it.

Abraham Lincoln had Marfans, and he went on to become President. What is my son going to become? A vegetable?

And, tonight, watching him turn eight in front of my very eyes, I saw the child he used to be before the school system, and Marfans, got to him. He was a happy child, doing things to make me laugh. If you could have seen that smile I saw tonight.

If I could only turn back time, and have that child back again. What could I have done different? For one thing, I would have homeschooled him. He was taunted, I'm sure, for not being able to keep up with "the boys" his own age. They were boisterous. My son was not.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I should have watched this home movie or not because it just brings back memories of a time when my son had his smile. I get glimpses of it now and then, but he's not that same little boy. I'm sure that little boy is in there somewhere, though. I would sure like to get him back.

The Day Before Thanksgiving Holiday Cooking Blitz

Well, gang, tomorrow's the day! Are you all going crazy with the pre-cooking as I am?

I've washed the turnip greens, and they're cooking on the stove. Man, that aroma! I love it! I have so much to cook tomorrow, so I'm going to do something a little different and start early. A Betty Crocker, I'm not, but I sure can throw out a mean Thanksgiving dinner.

We're having turkey, Stove Top stuffing, mashed potatoes, giblet gravy, turnip greens, regular and baked corn, candied yams with marshmallows on top, and Ann's dumplings, with Cherry Cobbler and Banana Cake for dessert. I hope I haven't left anything out.

I've got to go to work tonight, so I'm frantically getting these greens cooked, and I wanted to start on the banana cake and went to see if I had all the ingredients, and lo and behold, I found a can of baking powder that was a damn antique! It was dated 1999! Jeeeez! Guess I'll have to stop off at the store tonight and pick up some fresh baking powder, huh?

With all this food, you would think that I'd have an army coming over, but it's only going to be my daughter, son and boyfriend. But, just think....no cooking for a week!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving, and you aren't pulling your hair out like I am. I love Thanksgiving, but boy it sure can be a lot of work. But, I'd have it no other way. ;o)

New Zumaya Romance Imprint & Poll!

Hi readers,

I've just been passed the news that Zumaya Publications is planning to open a romance imprint, but they have so many wonderful names to choose from, they can't decide which one to pick!

That's where you come in!

Here are the details:

This past July Zumaya Publications moved business operations from its long-time home in British Columbia to the warmer climes of Austin, Texas. In the coming year, we plan to implement a number of exciting changes, and we want to invite booklovers to join us and qualify for prizes in three special contests.

In January 2007, Zumaya will establish a new romance imprint. Our authors have come up with ten excellent ideas for a name for the imprint, and we're interested in finding out which of them appeals the most to readers. So, we've set up a poll on Yahoogroups at Name That Imprint. To vote for your favorites (yes, you can vote for more than one) just send an email to http://us.f509.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=name_that_imprint-subscribe%40yahoogroups.com.

If you're already registered with Yahoo Groups, you can just ask to add the group to your roster. Or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/name_that_imprint/ and sign up directly.

When the poll ends on 15 December, we will enter the email addresses of the voters into a contest. Three will win a gift card worth $100, $50 or $25 provided by Zumaya authors, as well as some special personal gifts the authors are lining up as we speak; a complete list will be provided in a week or so. Not only that, we're offering five holiday-themed ebooks—three for adults and two for kids—free for the duration of the poll.

So, even if you don't read romance, come to Name That Imprint and let us know which of the names tickles your fancy.

____

So, help us out, won't you? Lots of prized (MONEY!) and if you click on the files there, you'll have access on two freebie Christmas books! Thanks muchly!

Dorothy Thompson
Editor, The Writer's Life
www.thewriterslife.net

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 12 - On the Writers' Road Less Traveled

Good morning, everyone! Are we out there promoting our little dickens off? Well, good! If you have the time, I'm guest touring over at my good friend, Alyssa Goodnight's blog, "On the Writers' Road Less Traveled," so if you have any questions you would like to ask about eBooks, promoting eBooks, or promoting in general, please leave a comment at Alyssa's blog, and I'll get right to it!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 11 - In the Middle

Baby, it's cold outside! Even so, I've got my steaming hot cup of coffee, and I'm warm and happy. Another advantage of a virtual book tour!

Today's stop is...my dear friend, Martie's, blog IN THE MIDDLE! Come on over and ask me anything. I dare you. Double dare ya. Thank you, Martie, for hosting me!

Speaking of promotion, I will be teaching a workshop, "Pump Up Your Self-Published eBookPromotion" over at Earthly Charms in July. Hard to wait that long!

Am I the only one without a turkey for Thanksgiving??? My landlord gives us one every year (I presume for being eternally grateful we don't complain about the million things we have wrong with this house), so I didn't buy one.

Well, the days are getting closer to Thanksgiving, and no sign of the frozen turkey out my back door. As in wtf?

I was telling BF about this, and was getting a little worried as Thanksgiving is only 3 days away, and he says, "He gives us a turkey on Christmas, doesn't he?"

Eek.

I really really need to slow down. Just not in my vocabulary.

So, I guess a trip to the store is on the agenda after I get off from work tomorrow...but...will there still be turkeys there?

Jeez, always something. So, is everyone cooking this year? I may have to borrow your turkey if you don't mind.

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 10 - For Your Entertainment

Rounding out the week-end, I stopped off at a dear friend's blog Friday. Linda Rucker, hosted me on her blog and she asked me some pretty darn good questions.

Like this one...

"Dorothy, in compiling this e-book, have you found ways to entice that elusive New York agent you've been trying for?"

I went yikes. I don't think I have an answer for this one, but I couldn't not answer! So, head on over to her blog and find out how I got myself out of that one...lol. Her link is http://newsworthycomments.blogspot.com/. Leave a comment if you'd like, and Linda will let me know. See you there!

Chew This!

I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm revising my hen lit...ahem..women's fiction with a humorous attitude...for the...uh...counting...fifth or sixth time.

I decided to change it from past tense to first tense being as it's being narrated by the main protag, Celia Gladstone Fields, and it's taking on a really neat feel.

I think Celia rather likes it this way because she won't stop me from typing into the early morning and late evening until the skin on my fingers fall off. But, that's okay...I need to get this done and out the door eventually.

However, I hit a slight little glitch. I was in the third chapter, and Celia is pulling a stick of gum out of her purse and dang if I can remember the name of that brand I used to chew when I lived in Burbank, California, many, many years ago. It had stripes in colors of the rainbow. Anyone know? This is killing me. I need to know because I need to add it to the story.

So, I go to the Internet and put "chewing gum" in search and omg did you know how many kinds of chewing gum there are?

Millions.

And I found out some really interesting tidbits, too.

Did you know that the maker of Chiclet invented a gum named Black Jack Gum on December 28, 1869? Seems it was made up of a "combination of rubber with other articles, in any proportions adapted to the formation of an acceptable chewing gum," but never sold it commercially. Did you know that it initally was intended to be a rubber substitute? Exiled Mexican former president and general, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was living in New Jersey when he tried to persuade Thomas Adams of Staten Island, New York to buy it. Adams had intended on using it as a rubber substitute, but his efforts at vulcanization didn't work. But, he noticed that Santa Anna enjoyed chewing it. So, Adams boiled a bunch of it up and created what we call "chewing gum." He even began experimenting with flavorings, and in 1884, he created Adams' Black Jack, the first flavored gum in America. It was an instant success. However, at the latter part of the '70s, production halted because of slow sales, and eventually Adams sold out to the Warner-Lambert Company, and then Cadbury. Adams (who went on to invent Chiclets) last batch of Black Jack Gum was in the fall of 2004.

So much for history, but I didn't know it.

Oh, and did you know that if you chew sugarless gum on a regular basis, it will actually IMPROVE dental health?

Oh, and did you know that the world's oldest gum is 9,000 years old? I'd daresay I'd want to chew that thing!

Now you can't say the boomer chick hasn't taught you something today.

Well, gotta go work on my book. Anyone know what that kind of gum is that has a striped rainbow-colored wrapper?

The Montgomery Gentry Concert Was the Bomb!

Okay, I've recovered. A night of partying with Montgomery Gentry wiped this little ol' boomer chick right out. It was great. I didn't actually think I'd enjoy it as much as I did, but it was really a great concert. These guys put on a show and a half. The light show was out of this world. I've got some pictures to show you:






And moi...a little blurry, but here ya go...

What do the Eagles, Elvis, and Neil Young, All Have in Common?

Oh come on. I'll give you a guess.

1974. 1971. 1973.

I've got you thinking, don't I?

Okay, what does having the most fun in all your entire life on this earth, agreeing to go on a date with someone you simply loathe and wishing you could come down with some weirded-out disease to get out of it, and seeing your absolute idol for the first time as a young hippie-wannabe and nearly passing out from the excitement--in that order--have in common?

Okay, sheesh. I'll tell you.

These are people/bands/idols I at least can remember to have seen in concert.

I'll tell you why I bring this up. Tonight, I will be joining my adopted daughter, Amanda, on a trip to the Wicomico Civic Center in Salisbury, Maryland, to see two dudes dressed in cowboy hats named Montgomery Gentry.

I don't mean any disrespect, but my car (which housed the main source of my music entertainment) is still sitting in the yard, waiting to be fixed, and I haven't heard any music, country or not, in ages.

So, Amanda asks me last month if I want to go, she'll pay for tickets. She says they're a country band and she knows how much I love country.

So I said yes.

Well, today is the day of the concert, and I have nothing to wear, have way too many projects to complete, and haven't been to a concert since my hippie-wannabe days, and quite frankly, I wouldn't even know how to act if I were at one.

So, I'm wondering how much has changed.

Are we still allowed to hold lighters in the air, or will they be confiscated by the guards in case we have plans to burn down the place?

Can we take our own drinks inside or are they going to be seized because we are smart enough to make bomb-like weapons out of them and blow up the only source of entertainment in our corner of the woods?

What about screaming and yelling, "Peace, baby!"

Oops, this is country. How about "Yee-haw!"?

Can we do that?

Are we supposed to do that?

And what do you wear to these things?

I guess you can tell I'm not really looking forward to this. I don't have any cool, stylish clothes. I don't even have a cowboy hat.

What a waste of good writing time, but I'll let you know how it pans out. Wish me luck. I'll need it while trying to find that happy face I used to have. Groan.

Long live Woodstock, baby.

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 9 - Shades of Romance Magazine

Little late in posting this, but stop #9 is at Shades of Romance Magazine, so hurry on over there, and if you have any questions, leave a comment in their comment box. See you there!

Make Cartoon Speech Bubbles!

I suppose this isn't the only website where you can do this, but it was a really neat find! This is from Wigflip, and you can have a blast with it putting speech bubbles on any picture in your files.

In case you're wondering, I'm the mastermind behind superimposing my doggie's heads onto this famous painting. All I did was print it out, put it in a frame, and it's on the wall beside me now. Cute, huh? Makes great gifts!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 8 - Miss Cellania

Folks, you are in for a treat. Not only is she gracious enough to grant me a review for "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook," but her blog is the bomb. I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. Check out the review, leave a comment if you'd like, and enjoy the incredible world of Miss Cellania.

See you there!

Smoky Mountain Web Cam

I needed to bookmark this so I'd have the link handy, so I figured...let's blog it!

Omg...this is a web cam of the Smoky Mountains.

This is what I'm talking about guys!

Can you imagine waking up to this?

Can you imagine it in the distance while driving to work?

Can you imagine what it would be like to call this your home?

Sigh....

One year, folks, one year. If I can make it that long.

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 7 - I AM THE HUNTER

And...it's day seven of the "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook" virtual book tour with a stop off at Jamieson Wolf's blog, I AM THE HUNTER. Quite a remarkable writer, and it's such a thrill to have the opportunity to visit his blog! Come join me and if you have any questions about promoting, leave a comment in Jamieson's comment box. See you there!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 6 - The Surreal Unwriter

It's day six of my virtual book tour and today's stop is at Ron Berry's "The Surreal Unwriter"! Stop by and say hello. If you have any questions up to this point about promoting eBooks, leave them in the comment box and I'll get right to them. See you there!

Are You an Energy-Zapper or Know Someone Who Is?

Scenario #1 -
You're in between keeping your virtual book tour running smoothly, finishing off your next relationship book, and sending out fifty million press releases. All of a sudden, the dogs are going crazy which sends the bird into choruses of "Let's Chirp As Loud As I Can So My Voice Will Be Louder Than The Dogs," and your equilibrium does a tail-spin. BF is home. The noise level goes from -2 to 200 on the richter scale, and you've lost all ambition to continue what you were doing. BF, in between making Max scream to to the top of his lungs after he says, "Wanna go outside?," says, "Oh, did I disturb you?"

Scenario #2 -
"Mom, can I pleeeeze use the computer for a few minutes. I've got this ECLEX test to take and my form was supposed to be in the mail. Have you been to the mail lately? I really need that form to fill out this other form on the Internet to take my ECLEX or I won't make that $1,000,000,000 a year I get from my new nursing job. Can I pleeeeze get on there to check my email to see if they sent me any information about it???? Pllleeeeeezzzzeee?????"

I sigh, get up, start dishes, and hear a scream.

"This %$#@ computer! Mom, when are you going to get someone to look at this #$%& computer???? If I lose this, I'll have to pay another fifty bucks to get it again...omg...I need that pin number...did BF get the mail??? He doesn't have that form and I lose out on making my $1,000,000,000, and lose it, did he???? I know I'll kill him for sure then!!!! Why isn't this ^%$#@ computer working right??? Omg...what's this mean????"

I put the dish rag down, and run to her aid. With one click, problem solved and I start cleaning the spare bedroom. That's when I hear another shriek.

With my blood pressure rising, and hitting a new record temperature on the hot flash meter, I run back out in the living room.

"You didn't tell me you unplugged the printer!!!!," she shrieks.

I plug in the printer, and it's about that time, I feel my energy waning to new depths.

Scenario #3-
The house is finally quiet. BF and Daughter is at work. I have the whole day to myself to finally get some work done. The workload is horrendous as stated in scenario #1, and all I want is peace and quiet.

And that's when someone goes by with a damn sound system that you could hear in California.

The dogs wake from their slumber, and between their howls and the bird's chirpings, I lean back in my chair and wonder how in the hell I can afford that cabin in the mountains. Alone.

I love my family. I love my dogs. I even love my loud-mouth bird.

But, do you ever get to the point where you feel these energy-zappers are getting to be too much, and are pushing you to the edge of senility? And they wonder why when they walk by me, asking me a question, that I don't respond?

Do you have energy-zappers in your life? How do you handle it????

Arrrrgggg.

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 5 - Blue Jeans & Tennis Shoes!

What do mismatched jammies, bed hair and a cup of steaming hot coffee all have in common?

The perfect setting for my virtual book tour!

Today I'm stopping off at Jen Nipp's blog, Blue Jeans & Tennis Shoes! So, grab your cup of java and come on over!

Speaking of coffee, isn't Folger's just the best?

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 4 - Nutter's Gang!

Omg...I have my very first review! Everyone...hop over to Michelle E. Ellis' blog at http://www.meellis.blogspot.com/ where she's hosting me today and read my very first review! I'm about to have a boomer chick conniption!

What I found really neat is that my eBook, A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook, has given Michelle ideas for promoting her already-published eBooks which has given her the confidence to query RT Magazine! Woo-hoo! Go Michelle! Let us know what you find out!

Everyone...pleeeeze, go over to Michelle's blog and leave a comment!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 3 - SmallPress Blog

Wow...Day Three of my "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook" Virtual Book Tour sends me over to Tom Nixon's SmallPress Blog! Head on over there, and if you have any questions about self-publishing eBooks, promoting self-published eBooks, or any promotional questions, leave them in Tom's blog. Thank you, Tom, for hosting me!

Yesterday I was over at Kaleidosouls where Joyce asked me some really interesting questions. Among other things, she wanted to know what the single, most effective way to promote eBooks was.

This was a hard one, and the only way I could come up with a rational answer was to figure out just which tactic I used ended up being the most profitable. I believe that using every promotional tactic I outline in the eBook will give you the sales you want, but narrowing it down to just one, I would have to say the syndication of my articles.

When I send off an article (and this has to be done on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, with daily and weekly being the best), I get enormous exposure. FOR FREE.

It's the domino effect...and never stops. You send it to one content ezine and give them that right to pass your article to other content ezines, and before you know it, your article, along with your bio which has your website link in it, goes out to hundreds of other content ezines.

The key to getting top ranking in the search engines for any particular project you have is to have that website link on as many other websites as you can. Syndicating your articles will do that for you.

Tomorrow, I'll be heading to M.E. Ellis' blog, so I hope to see you there. Meanwhile, come on over to Tom Nixon's SmallPress blog and ask me anything you'd like!

Virtual Book Tour - Stop # 2

It's Day Two of "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook" Virtual Book Tour, and my next stop is Joyce Anthony's beautiful blog, Kaleidosouls. She's having technical problems this morning, so it may take some time before we can get over there, but keep checking.

I would like to recap yesterday's events on my first tour stop at Kathy Holmes' blog, Women's Fiction With Attitude. One question she asked me was how long have I been marketing eBooks and how much time would I estimate it takes for an eBook to be what I would consider a success.

I know success means different things to different folks, but to me, I considered my eBook project a success when I got my first sale. I know that sounds silly, but to me it meant there's at least someone out in cyberland that thought my eBook was worthy of plunking down cold greenback. It's a sense of satisfaction in that, you know?

To tell you the truth, I was running around the house screaming with delight.

And, so far, no one has sent me a negative review, or maybe the boomer chick has scared them to the point where they just can't do it. And that's all right with me. Really.

So, how has this book tour gone so far promotion-wise?

Terrific. I can't imagine what kind of surprises there are for me as we go along, but so far it's been fabulous. I do see where you have to be really organized as you are setting this thing up yourself. The only drawback is that your mind is constantly whirring, which isn't good for a little boomer chick like me, but it's been fun. Ask me at the end and I'll tell you how much fun, if it doesn't kill me first, lol.

Tomorrow, I'll be at Tom Nixon's SmallPress Blog, so hope to see you there! Whew...I need coffee!

Virtual Blog Tour Kicks Off at Kathy Holmes' Blog, Women's Fiction With Attitude!

Good morning! I've taken all THREE dogs out for a walk, and now it's time to mosey on over to Kathy Holmes' blog, "Women's Fiction With Attitude"! I will be talking about promoting your own eBooks (really it's not as hard as you think) in case you wanted to generate some Christmas spending money or just in case you might want to do this yourself in the near future. It'll be a great learning experience, so follow that link! The coffee's hot and the donuts warm! Besides, Kathy's a real winner in my book as she's thinking about selling her own ebooks herself. And, if you have any questions about self-publishing eBooks, or promotion in general, leave a comment on Kathy's blog and I'll answer it for you. See you there!

Tomorrow I'll be at Joyce Anthony's blog at KaleidoSouls where I will explain more what this "self-publishing eBooks" is all about. If you want to keep track of where I'll be, visit my promoting eBook blog, eBook Promotion for Self-Published Authors!

Happy promoting to you!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone! Is everybody out there donning those costumes and getting zonkered? Dang, wish I could be there.

Halloween used to be one of my favorite holidays....that was before I nearly caught the kitchen on fire. I guess it's a blonde's perogative to walk out with water boiling on the stove. Go figure.

I remember it as if it were yesterday...

The kids were maybe 10 and 14, I suppose. Maybe a little younger. I fixed them hot dogs and french fries being as they were in a hurry to get out, and that was the quickest thing I could whip up. I'm not sure where their father was...he had a habit of leaving it to me to take the kids trick-or-treating, while he did a little tricking and treating himself (another story for another time).

The kids downed their dogs and fries, and we flew out the door.

Took us about an hour, then we headed back home with enough cavity-producing sweets to last a lifetime.

It was about when I got to the back door, I saw it. SMOKE.

I ran inside, and the kitchen cabinets were on fire. I paniced, then grabbed the phone.

And dialed 411.

"Operator."

All I can remember is shouting, "My house is on fire!"

The woman on the other end said, "Dear, you've called the operator. Dial 911, not 411."

Talk about blonde!

Well, I said to hell with that, took a pot, filled it with water, and put the damn fire out myself.

As this was a rental, and I sure as hell wanted my deposit back, I tried painting over the burnt cabinets with white paint. Don't even waste your time, folks. Doesn't work.

So, this is one of my not-so-fondest memories of Halloween. I never fail to screw up holidays, and this was my one last holiday I didn't have horror stories to tell, and now I managed to add one more to the pot.

I hope everyone is having a safe Halloween. Just remember it's 911, not 411, and you'll be all right.

Don't forget tomorrow I'll be guest blogging on Kathy Holmes' blog, "Women's Fiction With Attitude"! See you there!

FREE HALLOWEEN EBOOK

Okay, I know everyone has wondered where in the heck I've been....errrr...maybe not, but anyway, I've finally released an eBook that my writing group, The Writersville Gang, and I have been working on for months.

The ebook is called "Haunted Happenings" and is absolutely free for the taking. All you have to do to get your free eBook is visit www.writersville.homestead.com/hauntedhappenings.html. Sign the guestbook while you're there to let us know you stopped by!

Tomorrow I'll be announcing the participants in my virtual blog tour so you can come along and find out what it takes to promote a self-published eBook of your own.

Yak at you tomorrow...I've got a billion press releases to send out!

The Official "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook" Virtual Book Tour

I'm happy to announce that November 1, 2006 kicks off my national virtual blog book tour to promote my first self-published eBook on promoting eBooks, "A Complete Guide to Promoting & Selling Your Self-Published eBook," and will run through the end of the month!

I will be visiting blogs and websites all over the blogosphere, giving interviews, answering questions, and hopefully get my message across that self-publishing your own eBooks can not only be fun, but can turn out into a really lucrative business.

This virtual book tour began as an experiment to see how well something like this would go off on a book that you can't exactly buy in a bricks & mortar book store. Not only that, it's a...oh cover your ears say it isn't so...SELF-PUBLISHED eBook. So, this ought to be mighty interesting, and if you follow along, it might give you ideas on starting your own virtual book tour to promote your own self-published eBooks, or any books for that matter!

I'm going to list the blogs and websites I will be visiting as each are signed up. If you are interested in having me visit your blog or website on a certain day in November, drop me a line at thewriterslife(at)yahoo.com, but hurry as slots are filling up fast, and November will be here before you know it!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Okay, Boomer Chickie is back. Week-ends are horrendous as far as workload goes...heck...any day is horrendous around here.

And, it's FREAKING COLD. Wasn't summer just yesterday? I'm sitting here with a hot cup of coffee and a portable heater aimed right at me, and I'm still cold. Of course, browsing through someone's blog and looking at the snow-topped mountains in Colorado only wanted me to grab my fuzzy bathrobe and turn the heater up a notch further.

I'm not a cold weather person, but I do respect the change of seasons. But, the problem is that in my corner of the world, when it gets cold, THERE'S NO SNOW.

Oh, we've had snow...like waaaaay back when I was a boomer chickette, but in the last few years, we're lucky if we get a dusting. And I hate it.

My fondest snow memory was when I was about twelve or thirteen, and my grandmother who worked as an LPN at the hospital would have to get up at the god-awful hour of six in the morning to be at work at seven. It wasn't that she minded, only if it snowed the night before, it was my job to climb out from the warm blankets and go shovel a path so that she could walk from the house to the car.

It's not that I minded anyway because my grandmother was my sole supporter/provider/guardian, as my mother was still in California, and it was my way of helping her being as she was helping me.

Not only that, when I was a young child, she was hit by a car which broke one of her legs which resulted in it not being able to bend at the knee, and it was hard for her to get through anything that was a bit slippery.

So, it was on one Saturday morning, I climbed out of bed and looked out the window to see just how snowbound we were. The moonlight was the only source of light that early in the morning, but I could see where I had no choice but to grab the shovel and make a path for my grandmother to get through to go to work.

You know, it's funny. Since the last few years have been practically no snowfall, when it does snow even a flurry, the schools close up and we all call out from work. It's the perfect day to stay home, and after all, who knows...we could have an accident in all that 1/10000th of an inch of snow, you know?

But, not back in '66. When it snowed, IT SNOWED, and the funny thing about it was, people still went to work. Maybe they had to as in my grandmother's case, but it really did make me realize just how strong a woman she was. Did she call out when there was just a smidgeon of snow on the ground? Nope. Hard-working woman, I have to say that.

Anyway, back to my story.

Because we were too poor to afford boots, I tied two plastic bags on my shoes, threw on my coat and mittens, and headed out the back door. While I hated being out of bed and on a sleep-in Saturday at that, I knew I couldn't let my grandmother go out the door and risk falling.

But, despite all that, it was one of my most beautiful, memorable and perhaps spiritual memories I have, and definitely worth sharing.

Standing in the snow with the moonlight to guide my way, with only a slight breeze to stir up noise, it was magical. Everything around me was white, and clean, and pure. It was a Norman Rockwell painting. The snow clinging to the branches of the cedar trees out front gave it a fairyland feeling. But, it was the moonlight that really made all the difference. If anyone wants to see what it feels like being in a magical wonderland, go outside when it snows before the sun comes up. I'll never forget it.

And I didn't want it to be over. I stood there for a long while, leaning over my shovel, and just gasping at the beauty and the wonder of it all. I think it was the quiet that really did me in. No sound at all, just me and nature sitting side by side, and not having to breathe a word to each other. Just knowing we each were there, and respecting each other's place in the world, was enough for the both of us.

I sit here with my hot cup of coffee, and the heater blasting hot air on me, thinking back to a time that will never be again. I'll never be able to get up and clear a path for my grandmother again, I'll never be able to see what it's like to stand outside in the wee early morning with nothing but the moonlight to guide my way through the snow, and I'll probably never see a winter wonderland out my front door again.

I don't know...maybe it's the global warming thing, but I sure do miss it.

For One More Day

Has anyone read this book by Mitch Albom? I was checking out his book tour schedule here, hoping I could snatch up an autographed copy, but I don't think I can wait that long. This book sounds absolutely wonderful.

Here's what it's about...

For One More Day is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one?

As a child, Charley “Chick” Benetto was told by his father, “You can be a mama’s boy or a daddy’s boy, but you can’t be both.” So he chooses his father, only to see the man disappear when Charley is on the verge of adolescence.

Decades later, Charley is a broken man. His life has been crumbled by alcohol and regret. He loses his job. He leaves his family. He hits bottom after discovering his only daughter has shut him out of her wedding. And he decides to take his own life.

He makes a midnight ride to his small hometown, with plans to do himself in. But upon failing even to do that, he staggers back to his old house, only to make an astonishing discovery. His mother -- who died eight years earlier -- is still living there, and welcomes him home as if nothing ever happened.

Can you just imagine the implications?

I am sitting here crying about that one more day I could have had with someone - my mother.

Mitch tells us there is a ghost story within every family. There is always going to be someone who dies, and someone who you wish you had one more day with.

If I had one more day with my mother, I'd tell her that mushrooms definitely make a good spaghetti sauce, even if you have to pick them out of the sauce before you eat it. My mother made a humdinger of a spaghetti sauce, and it wasn't until about 30 years after she died, did I discover that awful truth.

If I had one more day with my mother, I'd ask her to tell me stories of my childhood that I would never recollect.

If I had one more day with my mother, I would tell her how awful I felt as a child when my aunt took us away from her to live with my grandmother 3,000 miles away. I would have told her I wanted to wake her up, but my aunt wouldn't let me. I would tell her how agonizing it was for me to be away from her, and that I never stopped hoping she would come to get me.

If I had one more day with my mother, I would tell her that I really felt it was a raw deal for her to die one month after I was married. She never got to see her granddaughter or grandson born, and they never got the privilege of knowing one of the kindest women you'd ever want to meet.

If I had one more day with my mother, I would have asked her what really happened between my father and her. Even though I knew she had to get married because I was soon on the way, I would have wanted to ask her what it felt like to find out you are pregnant at only seventeen years old. Was she upset? Did she ever wish it never happened? And why, to this day, even though my father knows of my existence, why he never wants to see me, the child he never laid eyes on?

If I had one more day with my mother, I'd ask her why it is I have this inner craving to go back to my home in California--the same one I was abruptly taken from. What is it that is calling me to return? I'd ask her if it has anything to do with her spirit inside of me, urging me to take this trip, and maybe is it to find out things I need to find out?

And, finally, as if I could ever run out of things to ask her, if I had one more day with her, I'd tell her to tell me she loved me once again, and to take her fingers and brush my hair behind my ear like she used to do to me as a child, and to let me know that these years I have spent growing up without her, having babies without her, trying to keep my life afloat without her, was what I should be doing and that I am on the right track.

Even though I can't have one more day with her to ask her these questions, maybe I can find it within myself to come to the conclusions. But, it wouldn't be the same. I could only guess, and guessing only makes you more confused.

I ask you, if you had one more day to be with someone who isn't here anymore, what would you say?

My 15-Minutes of Fame with OK! Magazine

You will never believe this in a million years. I just got quoted. For a celebrity magazine. Which will be in this Thursday's edition of OK! MAGAZINE.

Okay, I'm going to sound totally professional here...

HOLY CRAP!!!!

I was sitting here, just called out from work for my 3rd day straight with this B word thing, feeling mighty crappy, when I got a phone call. BF answered if for me, and I whispered, "If it's for me, I'm not home."

He told whoever it was on the other end that I would be back home in five minutes, and to call back. I was livid, as I'm not talking to ANYONE feeling like hockey poot. He then said, "I think you'll want this call. It's from a magazine who wants your opinion on something. He said if you're not available, he'll call someone else, so that's why I said five minutes."

Well, I forgave him, but not totally. Even if this were a magazine, which I was sure wasn't, I still wasn't in the mood to talk.

But, curiosity got the best of me. I'd not even heard of a magazine called OK Magazine, so I looked it up on the Internet. Sure enough, there it was. But, what would a national celebrity magazine want with me?

"He found your relationship stuff on the Internet, he told me," I remembered BF telling me.

Well, hell. But I still didn't get it. I'm not famous. My name isn't Dr. Phil, and heck, I don't even show up until #6 in Yahoo search and #32 on Google search for relationship expert, so why me???

I awaited his call. Sure enough about five or ten minutes later, I was sharing my soul mate wisdom with a Ryan Smith of OK! Magazine concerning the Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt relationship. I sure hope I sounded like I knew my stuff. The B word takes a lot out of you. I had to ask him to repeat himself, and that really sounded dorky, but my brain feels like one big cloud, totally void of anything comprehensible.

He was so nice, though. Especially because he chose ME. Wonders will just never cease. So, my question is, does this make me famous....or not?

Incidentally, my quote will be in the Thursday, October 12 issue! Can I get a whoop-whoop?

A Twilight Zone Kicker Med Story

This is a Twilight Zone Kicker Med story. I was feeling bad, took an Omixilyn (terribly misspelled), and some other pill...something with codeine..oh tylenol...and I was feeling sleepy. I went in the bedroom where BF was watching TV, and climbed under the covers. Before you knew it, I was asleep.

I had this kicker ass dream that would put Harry Potter to shame..just wish I could piece it together and make millions like the author of that book did (sorry I'm half asleep and have the CRS syndrome). I remember one part where I was a little girl, and I had on this blue-waisted dress with the skirt part that would fly all out when you twirled in it, and I was standing on this path in a woods and omg it was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and the sunlight was coming through the trees, and I had my arms outstretched, and I started going round and round and round. Pure extasy.

In the middle of this most beautiful dream, a beeping noise woke me. It went on and on and on, and I didn't want to get up to turn it off, as I was having such a lovely time in my dream world. And, waking up would mean I would be sick again, so I ignored the beeping. In a few minutes, BF turned it off.

Well, a little while later, Cassie was licking me and I thought it strange because she's like dead as a doornail in the mornings when I get up. In fact, she was lively and I thought this must be part of this strange ass dream I'm having.

Well, I patted her, she wouldn't let me stop, then Max came over and plopped the ball on my head for me to throw it, and I was going what in the hell is going on here? They must be feeling really good.

I contemplated getting up. I really was comfortable. ..think the medicine must have helped some, but my eyes wouldn't close. I said what the hell, I'll get up and when I feel sleepy again, I'll go back to bed.

The first thing I looked at was the clock in the bedroom. It said 8:30. I went wait a minute...it can't be 8:30...the sun hasn't even come out yet. I started freaking, like it was some kind of eclipse thing going on. I went out into the kitchen, the light was on. I got mad at both BF and Melissa for leaving it on overnight, and the lights that I have on a fake tree in the living room was on, too. I thought, wtf, do they pay the light bill or something? Well, on top of being mad at them, and confused because the sun wasn't out at 8:30 in the morning, I turned the computer on to check. And it said the same thing. But I looked a little further.

It was 8:30 p.m.

Now, these are some kick ass meds.

Now only did I clear that up and wasn't going crazy, and the sun didn't disappear from oblivion, but I have a whole more night to sleep in a few hours. Isn't that a kicker.

Don't Say the B Word

I hate to be the one to give you bad news...but...Boomer Chick is sick. Bring out the Boomer Meds and Boomer Chicken Soup, guys...I sure do need it.

It started out with a sore throat...then...BAMMMM...I think I have the B word. Can't say the B word because then my brain will see it, and it will be confirmed. I get the B word once a year for the past three years, and always in April..my doctor even joked about it. But, last year, just before April, I told myself I wasn't going to get it. And, miraculously, I didn't get it.

I thought, now this must be the way to cure yourself! Tell yourself that you aren't going to get something, and dang if it doesn't work!

Well, B sneaked up on me. April has long since been gone, here it is October already...I don't get the B word in October!

Well, it caught me off guard. Damnit.

So, anyway, I've not had to buy cigs for 2 days...first time that's happened since the last time I got the B word.

But, I still feel like shit.

So many projects have to be finished, so many emails I need to answer, so many this, so many that, and it's all I can do to hold my head up long enough to finish a blog post.

I will have some good news in a few days. The Writersville Gang and I are working on a Halloween eBook which is going to be absolutely free for the taking. Hopefully, I'll be able to announce the eBook's release soon...just have to find the energy to get the webpage finished, and the book edited/finished.

We'll be having a Christmas one come out, too, so lots of good things ahead.

Going back to bed now...have a wonderful Tuesday!

You Know You're Too Busy For Your Own Good When...

...you find out someone appreciated something you wrote, sent you an award for it, and find it weeks later in your e-mail box.

Here's the award..



Now, is that the most beautiful thing you ever saw! Thank you so much, M.E.!!!!

And the fine woman who blessed me the honor, check her out here!

Dang, that's pretty.

Speaking of over-worked, I'm also over-medicated. It started with a sore throat, then turned into a nasal non-breathing thingee with lots of achooos. A cold. The drat common cold.

I can't even remember the last time I got a cold, it's been that long.

On the homefront, other than sneezing my brains out, I'm tying up the manuscript I was supposed to have to my editor like...uh...yesterday. Hope she forgives. The working title is "The Soul Mate Triangle - Unlocking the Mysteries of the Soul Mate Relationship."

I didn't have any problems getting interviews for the karmic and companion soul mate categories, but for some odd reason, it's not many folks who've met their twin soul, or at least, they haven't become aware of it.

Such a shame, but not to fear. You just have to know what to look for.

Since I was having trouble finding people to interview for it, I added my own story. I think that might be the best way of showing people that their twin soul might be right under their nose, and they not even know about it.

I did put out a call in my newsletter, and have had responses, so it looks like I can tie this up over the week-end, if I can put my nose to the grind.

Well, my soup is getting cold, so I better get to eating it. Hope everyone's week-end is going splendid.

Oh, one more thing. I was standing outside of work this morning, looking up at the clouds. One of my co-workers came outside and I said, "Look at those clouds. Can't you just imagine mountains behind it?"

I bet if I were in the Smokies, I wouldn't have gotten sick! Drat...get me off the east coast!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful week-end, and now it's time I eat my soup...AACCHHOO!

Tom Cruise and Robert De Niro Are My Neighbors

This was the startling fact my daughter just told me this morning. Where have I been?

"Mom, don't you read the newspaper?"

Well, uh, no. Unless I can grab a few minutes at work and read the one that my co-worker leaves behind, but I've had myself wrapped up in books, thank you very much.

This little bit of trivia was told to me by my daughter this morning over talks of the housing market and crime rates. Such deep conversation for someone just crawling out of bed, but it was just so darn interesting.

The reason why we were talking about the housing market and crime rates was triggered by the fact that a friend of my daughter's couldn't sell her house, and has had to put it on the market as a rental. The price? Are you sitting down? $1,100.

As I'd love a new place to live, I knew this woman was getting ready to rent her house out, and I told my daughter to let me know when she comes to a price.

$1,100? Is she crazy?

"She has to pay the mortgage with it because she's moving to North Carolina to be with her husband who builds houses over there," my daughter said.

I've often wondered how people pay mortgages that high to begin with. Hopefully, they're either presidents of some software company or surgeons whose jobs are never threatened. Even so, isn't that a ridiculous price for a house here?

Well, that's not the house. The house is about a third of that, and I don't think it's even on the darn water.

"You know why houses are so darn high to begin with," my daughter adds. "Tom Cruise and Robert De Niro moved into that development in Cape Charles."

I had to laugh. I was born here and have lived here for years and years. I know the place inside out. The rest of Virginia doesn't even recognize us because we're separated by the Chesapeake Bay, and then you have to pay a toll to get over here. Plus, we're technically a low-income area. Or, used to be.

I actually don't even live in Cape Charles, but as it's a part of the Eastern Shore, I've traveled there many times.

Cape Charles used to be a booming town. That was when the ferry was running which closed in the early sixties. There is a beach (hence, waterfront), but nothing compared to the great beach over on Assateague Island, which is about 15 minutes from my back door.

But, after the ferry stopped operating, Cape Charles became somewhat of a ghost town, with just a few of the businesses still hanging on, and praying for that miracle.

But then, some hot shot developer bought a huge piece of land there, right on the water. And turned it into the best investment he could have probably ever bought. Or she. I'm not sure who bought it. Like I said, I don't read the newspaper.

I've not seen it. They say there are bars up to the gate, and you can't get in unless you live there. Although catching a peek at Tom Cruise or Robert De Niro out taking their dogs for a pee would have been a treat.

So, anyway, the point of my story is that, because of this big shot developer coming in and turning Cape Charles into THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO LIVE, the houses on the rest of the Eastern Shore has shot up to ridiculous prices.

And, if you're not Tom Cruise or Robert De Niro, or a brain surgeon or President of the United States, you can forget affording to live here.

And, it's crazy.

So, I sit in my rental I've lived in for the past ten years (don't tell my landlord that he could get 3 times the amount I'm paying now) and dream of the Smokies, where there at least houses are affordable.

It's funny what living next to Tom Cruise and Robert De Niro will do to you, not to mention the price of your property.